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gettingtoknowme
04-12-2008, 12:44 PM
We must give up our room in our home
so others can know the warmth of its fires
and it's cold wood floors on their bare feet
so they can plow it's gardens
and fix it's leaky faucets
so someone elses painted hands can hang on the fridge door

We move out in order to allow new light in the windows
and new laughter in the yard
We make way so another can sneak a cookie from the jar
We leave so a new pen stroke can whisper it's
late night confessions to the silent lines of a blank page

We are given a great responsability when we enter our home
One we don't understand and certainly don't want
We want to always know the warmth of the fire we built
and the cold of the wood floors we laid
We want to forever feel it's firm embrasse

When the moment comes and that grip begins to loosen
We look up with terror in our young blue eyes
and we beg.
We beg for one more hour in the comfort of our home.
For one more squeze from that familure embrasse

But alas it cannot be,
we knew when we stepped over the threshold
with our hopes and dreams secured firmly in our arms
that our lease would one day be up, and our time would be over
That we some day must leave our room vacant
for the next renter to fill.

neptune's girl
04-12-2008, 04:32 PM
How about "Threshold" - you step over the threshold when you initially enter the home, and you stand at the threshold as you leave to begin your next adventure.

I have always lingered before closing the door the last time in a home or apartment I have enhabited. I look around and say goodbye with a lump in my throat. I don't know why, but it really touches me.

gettingtoknowme
04-12-2008, 07:03 PM
do you mean use threshold in the very end line as well?

maybe something like:
But as we step over that threshold for the last time
peering back,for a final glance, into the life we leave behined
We realize that we must cross over into the world to come
and leave our room vacant for the next renter to call home

gettingtoknowme
04-12-2008, 07:14 PM
I think I like this one a little better then the one i've just posted. It's more blunt with the emotion I was trying to get across, but I think the word usage is better. Let me know what y'all think. And please, I'd love any suggestions/critizism. I'm always looking to revise and improve. -Thanks


A Funny Creature

Life is a funny creature dont you think?
You can walk, tred, or even run through it.
You can stop take a look around and enjoy it,
or you can let it pass you in a blurr,
not stopping it for even a moment to truly enjoy.

It surronds us everyday,
yet seems to be the hardest things to capture.
We take it for granted that it'll be sitting there waiting,
but tend to forget that nothing waits forever,
not even life.

We move through it like so many before us,
branding our names, or faces, or lives into its hide.
Some marks are deep and permenant,
others fading away even before the iron has cooled.
All wishing for just one moment longer.

It never stops, it never takes a breath, it never lets up.
It races out before us, challenging us to keep up.
Mocking those who can't and constantly berading the ones who do.
Faster then anyone could ever imagin,
but slow enough to where the tease of victory is constantly looming over head.

Yes, life is definetly a funny creature.
Allusive, quick, and vicious,
yet also slow, wonderous and tame.
It can be like a kitten purring in your lap,
or a lion ready at any moment to rip out your jugular;
The choice is yours.

V.Jayalakshmi
04-24-2008, 03:26 AM
Dear Getting To Know Me,

In fact I found both the poems dealing with the same theme,that of leaving a life/house after some time.The underlying theme is 'impermanance'of it all.I myself was today searching for an answer to similar feelings in me when I came across your poems.

Personally I liked the first poem as it is better.The tenancy and its end is not the underlying theme,but this life and the need to leave it for others.Yes,I find that aspect of life interesting.We have to leave because there are others waiting for what we have already experienced.It almost consoles us,this realization.

For the first poem you might give the title"Threshold" as suggested as we do cross the threshold of life here both 'in', and 'out'.

Always think with the heart and it will give you,your meanings,both in life and when confronted with choices.