i saw a little boy sleeping on the footpath

[ahsiam]

i saw a little boy sleeping on the footpath
when he had a dream to see
and a life to lead.


he slept in peace
with a touch of heavenly smile
with no thoughts or worries on it
his face was innocent and body was naked
had no fear of losing
for he had nothing to lose...


of what dream he has-
a red shirt and a good amount of food?
of what peace he has-
of no worries and woes or of his little wants?
of what pain he has-
of the life,to be lived or to die?


his be a life under those stars
ours be trapped in this human snare-
lurking, demanding, dreaming, aiming for an unknown peace and pain.


its a monologue of "i saw an old man smiling".

[PrinceMyshkin]

Very compassionate!

[Pendragon]

Written with the milk of human kindness... would have been a great stand alone poem even without your explaination and compassion below... wow! :thumbs_up

[ahsiam]

Written with the milk of human kindness... would have been a great stand alone poem even without your explaination and compassion below... wow!

you gave a comment on MY poem.....:D :D :D . this is your second comment on my poem since the second. :D
i am really very much glad that you liked it.:D

again thanks uncle pen. :D

[ahsiam]

Very compassionate!

thanks prince.:D its really difficult to get a comment like this from you. your comments are always a inspirition for me.:)
thanks.:D

[dibyendra]

I had read "i saw an old man smiling" as well. Both poems really touch the human sentiments. Good job.

[symphony]

Honesty rings out in this. :thumbs_up
Whether it is better than the one about the old man, i'm not sure. Erm... I think i like that one more. But this

had no fear of loosing
for he had nothing to loose... was magnificent. And the eye of the poet that i could feel through this poem was wonderful. :)

[firefangled]

i saw a little boy sleeping on the footpath
when he had a dream to see
and a life to lead.


he slept in peace
with a touch of heavenly smile
with no thoughts or worries on it
his face was innocent and body was naked
had no fear of loosing
for he had nothing to loose...


of what dream he has-
a red shirt and a good amount of food?
of what peace he has-
of no worries and woes or of his little wants?
of what pain he has-
of the life,to be lived or to die?


his be a life under those stars
ours be trapped in this human snare-
lurking, demanding, dreaming, aiming for an unknown peace and pain.


its a monologue of "i saw an old man smiling".

I can't tell you how many times I have read passages in fiction, journalism, ethnographies, where the authors are moved to point out that we, in our western cultures, hold up what we have with so much arrogance as the sublimity of aspirations.

This poem captured his feeling and me from its title to its last three lines.

[ahsiam]

I can't tell you how many times I have read passages in fiction, journalism, ethnographies, where the authors are moved to point out that we, in our western cultures, hold up what we have with so much arrogance as the sublimity of aspirations.

This poem captured his feeling and me from its title to its last three lines.

always saw you writing wonderful poems never thought my poem can capture your vision...and i am glad that it did...:D

well when i saw that boy, really touched me... in Ethiopia little boys can dance like monkey for one banana...never saw it... saw that little boy on the footpath...and it did make chills through my heart...our world is may be drooping from its kindness...


thank you for your precious time and comment.:)

[ahsiam]

Honesty rings out in this. :thumbs_up
Whether it is better than the one about the old man, i'm not sure. Erm... I think i like that one more. But this
was magnificent. And the eye of the poet that i could feel through this poem was wonderful. :)

did you just call me a poet?!!!!!!!!! :blush:

[ahsiam]

I had read "i saw an old man smiling" as well. Both poems really touch the human sentiments. Good job.


thanks dib. its nice to hear that you liked it. :D

[Sweets America]

Woooo, I love it!! :) I love how you depicted things in this poem, yes compassionate is a good word. I love what you say about the simplicity of this little boy sleeping.

[Virgil]

Ahsiam, I liked this part very much:

i saw a little boy sleeping on the footpath
when he had a dream to see
and a life to lead.


he slept in peace
with a touch of heavenly smile
with no thoughts or worries on it
his face was innocent and body was naked
I really liked the texture and tone and the phrasing, especially this line: "when he had a dream to see." I really liked the way you worded that.

The rest I had some problems with. It seemed to start getting maudlin for me, and reached for cliches. "had no fear of loosing/for he had nothing to loose..." Actually the words are spelled losing and lose. That's out of a Bob Dylan song, and he wasn't exactly being original either.

Also, the ending I think would be better if you dropped the last line.

his be a life under those stars
ours be trapped in this human snare-

But the poem had a nice, gentle feeling to it that projected the innocence of the theme.

[ahsiam]

Woooo, I love it!! :) I love how you depicted things in this poem, yes compassionate is a good word. I love what you say about the simplicity of this little boy sleeping.

thank you very much. :D you never gave any comment to me before....
nice to meet you. :)

[ahsiam]

Ahsiam, I liked this part very much:

I really liked the texture and tone and the phrasing, especially this line: "when he had a dream to see." I really liked the way you worded that.

The rest I had some problems with. It seemed to start getting maudlin for me, and reached for cliches. "had no fear of loosing/for he had nothing to loose..." Actually the words are spelled losing and lose. That's out of a Bob Dylan song, and he wasn't exactly being original either.

Also, the ending I think would be better if you dropped the last line.


But the poem had a nice, gentle feeling to it that projected the innocence of the theme.

oh my god! you made my day!!!
i am overjoyed that you liked MY poem...

i have never heard any bob dylan's song ; so i just wrote what i felt not knowing its not original.
and about the "loosing and loose":blush: ... i always do mistakes like this :blush: ...

my last three lines shows my disapproval against the mere hopes and dreams we persue tirelessly without any result instead of reaching out to humanity. so...

thanks again for your wise and thoughtful comment. its good to get advice from a great poet like you...:D :D :D

[Virgil]

thanks again for your wise and thoughtful comment. its good to get advice from a great poet like you...:D :D :D

You're welcomed and it's my pleasure. But please, I am in no way a great poet. But thank you. :) You made my day. ;)

[kelby_lake]

very soft tone :) nice

[ahsiam]

very soft tone :) nice

thank you kelby.:)

[ahsiam]

thank you virgil for giving a second comment. you made my day again.;) ;)
and you ARE a great poet. i said that and its final. :D