Helping a friend

[livelaughlove]

Hey all,
One of my greatest friends is going through a rough time. She is the one who has been there for me ever since 6th grade, and I can pour my heart out to her without worrying about whether she'll judge me, etc. because that's not what she does. There's an age difference between us and she has a daughter at West Point so I guess her feelings toward me are more maternal but regardless, they are genuine and I don't know what I would do without her. She is normally very stoic and always looks on the positive side, but lately she has been really down and I feel at a loss. I know how difficult it is to just "cheer up" when you are feeling blue but I want her to know how much she means to me (she already knows, considering I tell her all the time) but I just want to give her another reminder. But I need help thinking of what to do. I'm graduating high school in a month - which is exciting and terrifying at the same time! And I feel like I need to do something for her, something either big or incredibly meaningful, because honestly without her I don't know how I would have survived high school and the hurt that I've been through too. So... any ideas? I'd appreciate anything you guys have to say. Thanks so much for reading/listening.

[Virgil]

All I can think of is to tell her that she is you best friend and that you are greatful to have her around. Perhaps you can spend some time together reminiscing.

[Pensive]

While engaging her in conversation, try to tell her how well you remember the time she helped you out and how you still feel thankful for it, grateful for her friendship. :)

[sprinks]

It would depend on what means something to her... Or what her love language is (we learnt about love languages the other day). Some people really appricate a bunch of flowers for example, whereas others are just as happy with being told "i love you" and some others like it best when you DO something for them. So without knowing what she likes and what makes her happy, all I can say is that whatever it is should be a gift from the heart, something with meaning, and most often those are the handmade things. But whatever you do, never stop telling her how much she means to you and always be there for her. The best gift you can give to someone is your love and support, and unlike many other gifts that can be a life long thing.

I really hope she feels happier soon.

[cranberry]

I think you two should go out together some where you both like to be at and then have a very long chat ..and tell her your true feelings and thats when both of you would take stuff of your chest and feel good after that because you know when i and my best friend kind of dont see each other for a long time , questions flow into our heads: like ---> what does she feel towards me now that she is ---busy bla bla bla ...


wish you the best :)

[Silvia]

I have a friend who is having a rough time with her boyfriend.She hadn't told me anything about it till one day she burst in tears just in the middle of a mathematic class.I was waiting for her to tell me something, which she didn't. That night we spent about two hours on the phone talking about her problems, and I know it made her happy just to know I care.
Maybe you could call her up with a surprise (something you know she likes) and listen while she talks about her, or you could borrow he favourite dvd and spend the evening watching it together, waiting for her to be ready to open herself..(but, I don't know..maybe these things are too childish for a grown-up woman with a child..).
Most of times friends can't solve your problems, but what keeps you going is knowing that they are there, that they are willing to listen to you, that they will support you in your choices, no matter whether they turn out to be right or wrong...
But then, it is true what sprinks said. It really depends on the person. The friend I told you about is very sensitive and fragile, even though she pretends to be strong. What matters to her is knowing that she can always rely on you and a simple hug is enough to make her feel the happiest person on Earth!! Another friend of mine would cheer up only after a whole day of shopping, and, personally, I consider my friends heroes just because they stand me, since I tend to get depressed very easily and to bore them with 1000 complaints!
I hope this will help, even though I didn't say anything you don't already know!

[livelaughlove]

Thanks guys, that does help a lot. I know she is busy this weekend, but maybe I can suggest a movie sometime soon. She does complain sometimes that her husband won't watch movies with her unless HE wants to watch them, so I will see what movie she wants to see. Thanks again.

[cranberry]

a very good idea and wish ya 2 stay close friends forever from what you say i think you are a caring friend and keep on with this lovely spirit girl|!