No More Pain

[Red_Rose]

No More Pain
This blood and tears that once were shed,
Have no use for now.
This girl was once lost,
but now has been found.
She is no longer quiet with nothing to say.
This girl now tells a story of her Life.
A story that now has tears on thy other face.
A pain that has subsides.
A pain no longer needed.
A pain that has no use for now.

[lucidnightmares]

i get an empty feeling feeling from this piece, it`s full of emotion though, which i guess is kinda contradictory but i`m not too good with words so i guess that`ll do.
the only thing i didn`t fully enjoy was the sound, it doesn`t sound right to me, the words are all there but maybe not in the right order or something.
I`m not saying i don`t like it by any means, just that it`s not right for me.
i did however really like the last three lines.
other than my previous thoughts it is a great poem, and in case i haven`t said this before, welcome to home away from home, i hope you enjoy it here as much as i do.:thumbs_up

[Auriga]

Though the style is a bit awkward, the fact that you have something to say takes precedence. Granted, style, structure, phrasing and rhythm become important eventually, having something worth saying is where you need to start, which is where you are currently at. For that, congradulations. I look forward to reading more of your poetry as you mature in your writing; and writing is where it's at. Keep up the good work. :D

[ShadowFire]

I like the first line in the poem it captures me. I agree with Auriga about having something worth saying. Keep up the posting because I am really enjoying your poetry. Thanks for sharing with us.

[Anza]

I enjoy it, too. A problem I run into, though, when I write, is consistency with tense...
VERY GOOD!

[Red_Rose]

Thank you ShadoeFire, Anza, Auriga, and lucidnigtmares for th comments. i greatly appresiat it lol