Great Expectations... of life

[rachel_bookworm]

Well, I have just been pondering, as usual, about silly stuff...

I have recently ended a four year relationship with my boyfriend - not really too relevant to the question put forth, but it just got me thinking...


Do you think that from books, plays, and films, we all have the same romanticised vision of what life should be or do you think each person lives life to their own expectations?


From a modern society that is constantly exposed to cheap rom-coms with fairytale endings, or to the most heart breaking and / or inspiring novels of all time, do you think that societies expectations of life have gotten greater and greater? Are we all in a situation where nothing is ever good enough?


*** Thoughts please ***

[V.Jayalakshmi]

Dear Rachel book worm,
To answer you ,I will give you a real life incident.An accident victim died in a hospital.Parents who were not even aware that he is gone arrive at the hospital flustered,anxious and come to know that he is no more.No doctors came to express solidarity or even to tell them why they could not save him.

In films and books we see compassionate expressions,but not in real life.So all flowers bloom in our mind more beautiful than they are, and most get crushed too.But sometimes and in some moments, we do tread carefully so that we do not step over them and that is a consolation.So to get on with life,"Expect not, for then you shall not be disappointed".

[believin]

"Expect not, for then you shall not be disappointed".

I have a friend who loves to say this, and I think she is very wise for it. I would like to think I've learned something from her in this regard too, though I fear not quite enough yet.

I think, Rachel, that we do have an overly romanticized vision of what life and love should be, especially for those of us raised on a Hollywood version of life — which has deep roots in a long-standing tradition of a romanticized view of things. It does build up expectations, and unmet expectations will often crush us. The thing is, the problem actually doesn't lie in our (or someone else's) inability to meet the expectations so much as it does that the expectations were wrong in the first place.

When one adjusts expectations, it is possible to know something much greater than all the "highs" in life — it is possible to know contentment.

[Mockingbird_z]

learn not to expect too much , though i understand it is sometimes difficult.
certainly, we we like imaginig that our life is exceptional, like a fairytale or film with a happy ending, but lets face it, we arent main heroes of a film. but i think the only thing we can do is accept things as they come to us.
Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you're gonna get.

[PeterL]

While there is a great deal of slush in literature, there is some that is more realistic.

Some people read or watch to get away from the unpleasantness that then the real world, and I can't blame them. Others read to gain more more understanding of what they see around them.

Hope for the best and plan for the worst.

[djy78usa]

Hope for the best and plan for the worst.
I agree with PeterL on this one. While it is important to not get so caught up in what you want life to be that you forget to live your life, it is also essential that you strive for a more perfect life. If we all just accept that this is our life, and that's the way its always going to be, then what is the purpose of living? Imagine how different this world would be if people like Jefferson, Ghandi, and Mandela had just accepted things as they came.

[rachel_bookworm]

Lots of great replies.

I didn't intend for this thread to be a 'boohoo i split with my prince charming boyfriend' issue, please don't think of it like that, although thanks for the comments.

I think what I meant to write was that it seems society as a whole, particularly Western society, has a vision of what being perfect is and what the perfect lifestyle is. These expectations seem to be growing and growing through every generation. Do you agree?

Why do you think this is?

[PeterL]

I agree with PeterL on this one. While it is important to not get so caught up in what you want life to be that you forget to live your life, it is also essential that you strive for a more perfect life. If we all just accept that this is our life, and that's the way its always going to be, then what is the purpose of living? Imagine how different this world would be if people like Jefferson, Ghandi, and Mandela had just accepted things as they came.

Actually, I didn't word it correctly. It should be more like keep your options open; plan for the best, but try to have a back up plan in case the worst hits.

[PeterL]

I think what I meant to write was that it seems society as a whole, particularly Western society, has a vision of what being perfect is and what the perfect lifestyle is. These expectations seem to be growing and growing through every generation. Do you agree?

Why do you think this is?

You may be right. It seems that people generally operate on the assumption that nothing of substance will change in their lives. That is usually not a good guide. From what I have seen, it appears that many people, especially 20 somethings from suburbs, seem to assume that the world is like something depicted on a TV. And from my limited observations it appears that those kinds of assumptions are more common now than they were a couple of decades age.

The flip side of that is that for a very long time there was so little change during any single lifetime in the way people lived, that it was reasonable to assume that the bucolic ideal was possible for everyone, because nearly everyone lived in a rural area, married a childhood sweetheart, raised a beautiful set of children (half of who died before they reached 5), had lifelong friends, etc.

[believin]

Lots of great replies.

I didn't intend for this thread to be a 'boohoo i split with my prince charming boyfriend' issue, please don't think of it like that, although thanks for the comments.

I think what I meant to write was that it seems society as a whole, particularly Western society, has a vision of what being perfect is and what the perfect lifestyle is. These expectations seem to be growing and growing through every generation. Do you agree?

Why do you think this is?

Yes, I definitely agree with you.
As for why, I think it comes to this — when one generation buys into the myth, and then passes it along to the next, the myth becomes stronger. This multiplies with each generation that passes it on. It become accepted as fact rather than viewed as a dream or something. Fact, in our day: one should be able to attain one's ideal (whether that be partner, job, house, whatever). To attain the ideal, one need only work harder, get their life in order, etc. There may be a small element of good luck to it, but good luck comes to those who are ready for it (or at least open to it).

That's all nice to imagine, but it isn't always the true picture of life. So, when I fail to reach some ideal, the natural assumption, in the viewpoint described above, is that either I am not doing enough to attain my ideal, or that I am somehow not "open" enough to the bit of luck needed for it to happen. If I just tweak this or that, or just wait a little longer, then things will fall into place.

That's the sort of expectations I am talking about being the "wrong" ones.

[blazeofglory]

Well, I have just been pondering, as usual, about silly stuff...

I have recently ended a four year relationship with my boyfriend - not really too relevant to the question put forth, but it just got me thinking...


Do you think that from books, plays, and films, we all have the same romanticised vision of what life should be or do you think each person lives life to their own expectations?


From a modern society that is constantly exposed to cheap rom-coms with fairytale endings, or to the most heart breaking and / or inspiring novels of all time, do you think that societies expectations of life have gotten greater and greater? Are we all in a situation where nothing is ever good enough?


*** Thoughts please ***

What we romanticze and come across in life is a different matter altogethero .
Things do not go the way we think or want them to go, for our mind is programmed to think in one way, and things happen differently indeed.

Do not despair, friend, for you may come across another if you lose one.
For life is the ebb and flow.