Is religion important in loving a person?

[RoCKiTcZa]

Do you believe religion is important in loving a person? Is it capable of changing your love for someone, just because this person you love does not belong to the same religion as you? Or will you continue to love this person no matter what religion he/she belongs to?

[Tournesol]

I think it goes both ways, for me, being a Muslim, religion is very important. And I know it's that way for Jews as well as for some Christians.

Personally, I wouldn't change my religion for anyone, and I wouldn't want anyone to do that for me.
Because then that person's belief becomes about you.
What happens when you are no more in their life? Or when you die?
Their reason will be no more.
It means that their 'belief' or 'faith' in that religion was not for the sake of believing in that doctrine, but rather for the sake of being with that person.

This brings up another question:
what if two persons love eachother because they have the same religion?
They see admirable qualities, and similar goals.

For me, this is how it is. I believe that love can survive and thrive when two ppl have similar beliefs, principles, and goals. And more often than not, peoples' religions provide the templates for these things.
Ergo, same religion = a more stable relationship.

It's easy to fall in love with someone, but keeping that love alive requires a different formula.

[amalia1985]

I have to make clear that I am not a religious person. For me, religion is not that important, therefore I would never try to stop myself from loving someone who is not a Christian, for example.

[Virgil]

I don't think it matters what religion a person is to fall in love with them. Now marriage and living your lives together is a different story. That's the difficulty and the more important question.

[papayahed]

On a practical level religion is important. I'm not religious so in one sense it doesn't matter but on further discussion I think I would have trouble dating someone that is very religious.

[Wintermute]

Hi everyone,

If a person is 100% certain that they know what's going on in the universe, I am immediately scared by them. So, if a person claims with certainty that the only way to get into heaven is to accept unconditionally that Christ existed and died for my sins. And if I don't I'm doomed to rot in a burning hell for eternity--then I can not, in all honesty, completely love that person. Similarly, if another person claims, with certainty, that a universal creator does not exist, then I would not be able to completely love that person.

Now, in my limited experience, most (almost all) folks are not 100% certain that they have found only true path. The certainty that is displayed by many, in my opinion, is simply a product of hope. Hope that there is more going on in the universe. Hope that their loved ones, who've left the planet, are in a place warm and gentle, waiting for them. Hope that the strife and pain they experience and witness others experiencing somehow has a purpose. I certainly hope. And it wouldn't be difficult at all to fall deeply in love with one that hopes.

Doug

[Inklings]

Oh, certainly religion should not matter in affairs of the heart!

Many of those of the Christian faith (C.S. Lewis in particular) hold the concept of true courtly love in high esteem. I highly suggest Lewis' fantastic non-fictional work "The Allegory of Love."

[Ona]

i personally believe that organized 'religion' is sheer stupidity and that people who consider themselves religious are liars/hypocritical/not fully consious. this would be a big problem for me to date someone considering themselves under one finite category of faith. spiritual people do not dissapoint me however; finding thier own path and intuition/thought of the creation and existience of our human race. it is not a crime to have hope, but it is a crime to be 'religious' in my eyes.

[Dori]

i personally believe that organized 'religion' is sheer stupidity and that people who consider themselves religious are liars/hypocritical/not fully consious. this would be a big problem for me to date someone considering themselves under one finite category of faith. spiritual people do not dissapoint me however; finding thier own path and intuition/thought of the creation and existience of our human race. it is not a crime to have hope, but it is a crime to be 'religious' in my eyes.

Really? That's a rather interesting opinion. I'm inclined to agree with you on the point that "people who consider themselves religious are liars/hypocrites/not fully conscious," but perhaps not for the same reasons. After all, I think most people, religious or not, fit into those categories quite well. It's just a part of who we are as flawed beings. :)

I think it's necessary to add that I think the rest of your post is a provocative invective, to use two words that I learned today. :)

Anyways, on to less important matters.

Personally, I think it's preferable to be with someone who does not share the same beliefs as my self. Despite my own views (which are currently leaning towards agnosticism), I just think truly religious people are interesting as hell (heaven?), to put it bluntly. :D

I have a story to tell about one of my experiences:

Years ago (two years and about eight months, to be precise), I joined a Youth Group at the local church (Wesleyan, I believe the denomination was). This came to be as a result of a particular girl that convinced me to go. At first, I was naturally shy, but these Christians were a very accepting group, especially the pastor. The pastor was and is a truly inspiring character. To make a long story short, he is quite possibly the best speaker and most devoted person that I've had the pleasure of meeting in person. Even if I were a resolute atheist, I would still go to listen to him speak from time to time; such is his compelling speech.

During my visits to this Youth group, I slowly evolved into a devout Christian. Unfortunately, I have since lost faith, but that is not the point of this story. Back to the girl. She was the first person that I truly fell in love with (if I can make such a claim; perhaps my understanding of true love at the time was minimal). It was not lust, at least that's certain. If it weren't for her, what kind of detestable state would I be in now? Even though she left me after convincing me that she loved me as I loved her, I still thank her for introducing me to her church. In fact, I will be attending this very Youth Group this weekend for the first time in months.

To sum up (what a horrible way to end a story! :p): my views on this topic are entirely based on experience, and more precisely the experience which I related above.

That's it for now. :)

[Oniw17]

I fall into the only group represented by the poll. Though I do hate it when people laugh at me after I use the word evolution(it's almost ironic), I sometimes play the champion of theists online, and I sometimes go to churches so I can listen to anecdote and metaphor.

[NikolaiI]

I believe one's spirituality should transcend religion and creed, such as Christian, Hindu, Muslim, Buddhist, and should transcend language barriers as well. Therefore one should study all religions, and do the prayers or rituals of those that feel comfortable, those that have the most effect, and study that religion. If one meets someone one falls in love with, who is of an entirely foreign religion, one should study the religion they neglected to learn about. After all, you love the person they are now, which is the result of their lives, on which at least some part was played by their religious practices. If you love everything about them, then you'll love their religion too. Having studied different religions, I can say that my life is many times richer because I did not just stick to one and close my mind off to the rest.

[blazeofglory]

I feel comfortable with people of all religions. I in fact does not have a bit difference whether I enter a mosque or a temple I feel euqally comfortable with both the Gita and the koran.

I am a Brahman by birht, and now despite the fact that I follow Hindu tradition at home, has a temple and do Puza (worship) every morning and go to temples with my family so often and follow many ceremoneties and festivals, yet deep down I feel comfortable with all people no matter which religions one comes of.

I do not want to hurt anyone' sentiments by comparison, be he Muslim brother or a Jew. I love everyone though they may not like me for unseen and unknown reasons.

For deep down we are not religious. We are beings, and earthlings. We oroginated in this small planet and we will die here.

Therefore I feel there should be matrimonial ties between different religions.
Of course when one marires out of the clan or caste or religion some misunderstanding takes place and it may sitr up some friction but these are
veneers, outers.

[Pensive]

Yes.

Beliefs certainly do matter.

[Trillian]

i personally believe that organized 'religion' is sheer stupidity and that people who consider themselves religious are liars/hypocritical/not fully consious. this would be a big problem for me to date someone considering themselves under one finite category of faith. spiritual people do not dissapoint me however; finding thier own path and intuition/thought of the creation and existience of our human race. it is not a crime to have hope, but it is a crime to be 'religious' in my eyes.

I consider myself "Christian", for lack of a better term, and I agree completely. Heck, even in the Bible you find Jesus holding the Pharisees up as an example of how not to be. Religion to many is the keeping up of appearances, and following the letter of the law, as it were, not bettering one's self through the application of their beliefs and using the mind God (or whoever) gave them to figure out how best to live their lives. There is a HUGE difference between religion and spirituality.

That said, I think that love between two spiritual people is possible, regardless of the root of the spirituality. It is even possible for love to last between people of two different religions, provided that neither one is devout, or they both have an agreement before marriage and children that their children will be exposed to both religions, and be allowed to choose at an appropriate age. But I would imagine that if both people believe that the other will be doomed to eternal suffering because of their respective beliefs, they will eventually try to convert the other out of love for their partner and concern for their immortal soul, thusly causing constant strife, if nothing else. It would take a great deal of tolerance for two people of different religions to live peacefully together.

[muhsin]

As my brother/sister, Tournesol, above illustrated, also for me being a Muslim, religion does matter a lot. And it goes both ways...so I reckon it would have been better if another category or choice is added.

Why? Personally I would want to love a girl from my religion. But yet there are lots of nice fellows from other religion, Chritianity per se, because we almost only have two religion followers predominantly in my country. As thus, I could also love a christian girl. Even in Islam its permissiable to do so and to even marry her. She's whats called 'ahlul kitaab', meaning revealed book pocessor, i.e Injeela (or now Bible).

[Nightshade]

It depends what youmean by 'love', various members of my family are of different religions and beliefs some quite devout Catholics but that doesnt mean I love them any less. And I love my friends who are of different beliefs and religions.
I dont think that religion changes who you love in the non romantic sense but I would never date/marry/whatever anyone of different beliefs than me and by that I include greatly different attitudes to my own religion unless and I quote ' I get ovarian cancer or have a hysterectomy before' because Ive personally seen too many kids messed up by marriages between people of differnt beliefs.

[JBI]

I find it hard to see myself falling in love with anyone who believes in Scientology, or any other made up idiocy (hehehe).

[Cezar_TheScribe]

I'd only marry someone of my own faith.

[KK2202]

Not at all. If religion counts in loving a person, then i think it isnt true love...love should not be based on religion.

[Bakiryu]

Love is love. Of course, if that person happens to be a devout Cristian or a muslin (or welsh), then my family wouldn't really be pleased.

[Pensive]

Not at all. If religion counts in loving a person, then i think it isnt true love...love should not be based on religion.

I strongly disagree with you when you say 'if religion counts in loving a person, then I think it isn't true love'. Can be because I don't believe in this oh-so-philosophical true love. There is this one love in my eyes, nothing more/nothing less.

Religion = beliefs. Many of us tend to care for a person on the basis of her/his beliefs, her/his choices as our choices make us what we are. So it can play a significant role.....or let's all choose random people (or rather dummies) without knowing about their likeness/dislikes/priorities. Or simply why not marry beautiful dummies if you don't care about their beliefs? Oh and I am not denying other factors that contribute to love; just that beliefs hold some significance to you. And people who love others due to their beliefs are not in some impure form of love.

[EmilyBronte]

I think the question of "what does one mean by love?" deserves some attention. is this only romantic love? lust? friendship? brotherly, sisterly, motherly, or fatherly love?

i think that one can love anyone despite beliefs. when it comes to being in love, religion shouldnt be in the way. Marriage, kids, a life together, now THAT is a totally different question!

in my experience, yes, even though i am the daughter of 2 Presbyterian pastors, i fell in love with an Agnostic. it did not end well, but it was not because i decided that we needed the same beliefs.

I actually think it is better not to have the same exact beliefs. Why would you want someone to tell you what you already know? then you can learn from each other. my boyfriend is Catholic, and we have the most interesting conversations. i think, that as long as you respect each other and your beliefs, and they have a foundational similarity, then love can flourish.

aside from passionate love, i think it is very close-minded and harsh to say that you cannot love someone with a different religion. i love my friends who are Wiccan as much as i love my fellow Christians. I believe that my God-given mission is to love others like Christ did, with an unconditional and compassionate love. No bible i have ever read said, "Go out and love all... EXCEPT for the ugly people/gays/prostitutes/witches/nonbelievers".

Shutting off love from someone due to their religion is a way of closing off ones heart, which only hurts oneself, ultimately.

[Dori]

I strongly disagree with you when you say 'if religion counts in loving a person, then I think it isn't true love'. Can be because I don't believe in this oh-so-philosophical true love. There is this one love in my eyes, nothing more/nothing less.

Religion = beliefs. Many of us tend to care for a person on the basis of her/his beliefs, her/his choices as our choices make us what we are. So it can play a significant role.....or let's all choose random people (or rather dummies) without knowing about their likeness/dislikes/priorities. Or simply why not marry beautiful dummies if you don't care about their beliefs? Oh and I am not denying other factors that contribute to love; just that beliefs hold some significance to you. And people who love others due to their beliefs are not in some impure form of love.

But there are several kinds of love, not just one. For instance, I don't love my twin brother in the same way I would another girl. That's just disturbing to think about. :sick:

Can you explain to me why out of two of my best friends, one is a devout Protestant Christain and the other is an atheist? Why I have another good friend that is a Catholic? Why my religious standing is different from that of my parents? I love all these people a great deal (platonically).

And yes, although Religion = Beliefs, it doesn't necessarily follow that Beliefs = Religion.

[anu.sha]

:idea:

[KK2202]

"I strongly disagree with you when you say 'if religion counts in loving a person, then I think it isn't true love'. Can be because I don't believe in this oh-so-philosophical true love. There is this one love in my eyes, nothing more/nothing less.
"

One can not really talk about things which he/she has never experienced personally..i say so coz i loved a person of another religion, and we are married now..we had lots of issues and still have few...But its our love which enables us to overcome all the dificult situations and still be happy and enjoy life...

I believe strongly in GOD, but have started feeling great aversion for people who are religious..because when it comes to religion people loose their senses and cannot think whats right or wrong..They only do what their religion (actually not the religion, but the people who use it wrongly) wants them to do.For the sake of religion, and to convince relatives and other people of that religion, parents are ready to sacrifice the aspirations and dreams of their children, even boycott them, but not do things that their religion/people who follow that do not accept….However, educated or rational they are in all other things, they defintiely do not use that mind when things question their religious belief…

[Pensive]

But there are several kinds of love, not just one. For instance, I don't love my twin brother in the same way I would another girl. That's just disturbing to think about. :sick:

I didn't deny the types of love. Just meant to say 'there is one love' which is always true. That which is not true in that sense is not love. There are many types of forests but those come in 'forests' and that which is not green is not a forest. Same goes with love.


Can you explain to me why out of two of my best friends, one is a devout Protestant Christain and the other is an atheist? Why I have another good friend that is a Catholic? Why my religious standing is different from that of my parents? I love all these people a great deal (platonically).

As I said before, it varies in cases. For some people it's significant for others beliefs don't matter. People marry others for their beauty. Fall in love with those the society calls evil too. But for me other people's set of beliefs (religion) matters.


And yes, although Religion = Beliefs, it doesn't necessarily follow that Beliefs = Religion.

Religion is a set of beliefs, not just one belief which makes its importance even clearer as when two people's religions would differ, so many of their beliefs would cary. If you have a huge problem with the set of beliefs of some person, there are chances you would find it hard to like her/him. BTW, nowhere I am trying to say that you can't love a person with different religious beliefs as it seems people are assuming but that it does have a 'significance'.


One can not really talk about things which he/she has never experienced personally..

Heh now please...this statement works at some places but now when you put it, it's just like how can a doctor understand a person's physical problem when he has not got it himself...


i say so coz i loved a person of another religion, and we are married now..we had lots of issues and still have few...But its our love which enables us to overcome all the dificult situations and still be happy and enjoy life...

You are one example. There are really unhappy marriages out there too of people with different beliefs. And there is also this question....how much do those people who call themselves religious really follow their religion? That's also very important....they say most of the people who call themselves religious hardly follow their religion (the book or whatever they claim they follow)

[accountansiyot]

love conquers all i would say. :) for me, it would be advantageous to have the same beliefs and religion when forming a family because it would be easier for the both of you to nurture your children. :) if both are different, well, each one has to share or explain his own part about his faith and devoted as to that religion. well, it wouldn't be a big deal anymore once the child reach the age of majority for he\she has his\her own right already to choose his\her religion. ah, but for me, i'm roman catholic in my birth certificate but in practice i am not. i am not affiliated with any religious organization anymore but i do believe a God. so, i am not an atheist as well. my reason for that is, well, feel free to watch part 1 of Zeitgeist the movie. it's all there. :)

[symphony]

I don't think it matters what religion a person is to fall in love with them. Now marriage and living your lives together is a different story. That's the difficulty and the more important question.

I second that. Love, as they say, just happens. Its the marriage and living together that mess things up really. Because your habits and lifestyles, if not just faiths, do matter when you're living with someone under the same roof.

[Kafka's Crow]

Love conquers all but religion divides all! I would be hesitant of living with a practicing religious person (or even a non-religious person with a background including a religious upbringing or growing up in a religious family). If that person accepts you, his/her family would label you 'bloody atheist' and mess things up for you two. Religious people are like vegetarians. They expect respect from other people and have no respect for other people's beliefs. I am an outright carnivore and never eat vegetables. Vegetarians come to my house and I make vegie food for them, I go to their house and they expect me to eat their green stuff!! Not a single lamb-chop in sight!

[Dori]

Love conquers all but religion divides all! I would be hesitant of living with a practicing religious person (or even a non-religious person with a background including a religious upbringing or growing up in a religious family). If that person accepts you, his/her family would label you 'bloody atheist' and mess things up for you two. Religious people are like vegetarians. They expect respect from other people and have no respect for other people's beliefs. I am an outright carnivore and never eat vegetables. Vegetarians come to my house and I make vegie food for them, I go to their house and they expect me to eat their green stuff!! Not a single lamb-chop in sight!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Scheherazade]

There are really unhappy marriages out there too of people with different beliefs. And how about all the unhappy marriages between people who happen to share the same religion?

[Virgil]

And how about all the unhappy marriages between people who happen to share the same religion?

That was my exact thought when I saw Pensy's post. :D

[Scheherazade]

That was my exact thought when I saw Pensy's post. :DYou surely don't mean to say our thought processes run somewhat parallel on this occassion? :eek:

[Whifflingpin]

Just have to quote RLS -
"How would you have people agree, when one is deaf and the other blind? Now this is where there should be community between man and wife. They should be agreed on their catchword in "FACTS OF RELIGION," or "FACTS OF SCIENCE," or "SOCIETY, MY DEAR"; for without such an agreement all intercourse is a painful strain upon the mind. "About as much religion as my William likes," in short, that is what is necessary to make a happy couple of any William and his spouse."


Kafka's Crow might like this snippet: "In all that concerns eating and drinking, company, climate, and ways of life, community of taste is to be sought for. It would be trying, for instance, to keep bed and board with an early riser or a vegetarian. In matters of art and intellect, I believe it is of no consequence."

The rest of the essay may be found here:
http://www.online-literature.com/stevenson/virginibus-puerisque/1/

[Virgil]

You surely don't mean to say our thought processes run somewhat parallel on this occassion? :eek:

Shocking isn't it. :D Maybe you're finally coming around to see the light. :p

[Pensive]

And how about all the unhappy marriages between people who happen to share the same religion?

All religious couples don't marry just because their religions match (as I mentioned before there are other factors too) They might have got disappointed with those other ones. :p


Love conquers all but religion divides all! I would be hesitant of living with a practicing religious person (or even a non-religious person with a background including a religious upbringing or growing up in a religious family). If that person accepts you, his/her family would label you 'bloody atheist' and mess things up for you two. Religious people are like vegetarians. They expect respect from other people and have no respect for other people's beliefs. I am an outright carnivore and never eat vegetables. Vegetarians come to my house and I make vegie food for them, I go to their house and they expect me to eat their green stuff!! Not a single lamb-chop in sight!

Interesting post, made me laugh. :D

[NikolaiI]

I think if you loved a person truly you would love everything about them, and adopt and learn some things of their religion. I am multi-religious, and it moves me to tears to hear both Presbyterian choir singing different Western hymns as well as hearing Vaisnava musicians playing on their harmonium, mrdanga and kartala, singing. Both are..."religious experiences," and what moves me when I go from one to another is the realization that they are the same; intelligent, godly people worshipping their God, in a tradition that goes back hundreds of years. So beautiful.

[Pensive]

I think if you loved a person truly you would love everything about them, and adopt and learn some things of their religion. I am multi-religious, and it moves me to tears to hear both Presbyterian choir singing different Western hymns as well as hearing Vaisnava musicians playing on their harmonium, mrdanga and kartala, singing. Both are..."religious experiences," and what moves me when I go from one to another is the realization that they are the same; intelligent, godly people worshipping their God, in a tradition that goes back hundreds of years. So beautiful.

It's a all so pretty and good to think of that 'if you loved a person truly you would love everything about them' but not very practical. Many religions don't allow 'multi-religiousness'. That's another thing we soften religions (after all they were certain beliefs too brought about by certain people) we can make them up whatever the way we want it to be.

[Scheherazade]

Shocking isn't it. :D Maybe you're finally coming around to see the light. :pThe only light I see at the moment is that since I am beginning to agree with you, I should consider changing my ways! ;)
All religious couples don't marry just because their religions match (as I mentioned before there are other factors too) People don't marry "because their religions match" but they shouldn't marry because their religions don't match?

[Pensive]

People don't marry "because their religions match" but they shouldn't marry because their religions don't match?

Nowhere I tried to imply that. Not exactly as one doesn't know whether her/his chosen partner would stay on one religion forever. There shouldn't be any hard and fast rules about it. But the difference of religions should be put under consideration. Totally ignoring it is probably not a very right thing to do.

[dzebra]

Most of the conversation has been about the love between spouses, and in that respect, I think it is important for the two married people to share the same beliefs about who they should marry (and that is usually described by their religions).

On the other hand, other types of love do not require similar beliefs. The love of a person for his friends, neighbors, co-workers, siblings, etc. does not require both people to adhere to the same religion.

Then again, the religion of the person who is answering the question plays a large role in why he answers the way he does. If the religion is Love, then of course religion plays a big role on loving people, because loving and religion are inseparable. This has no visible effect on the results of this particular poll, but before looking at the poll, I thought that the choices would be something like "My religion has an influence on who I love" vs "my religion does not have an influence on who I love," so that's why I was thinking along those lines.

[Redzeppelin]

To borrow from dzebra above: I don't think "religion" is a good synonym for "love." Religion may serve a valuable function to provide contexts concerning love (define what "love" means, give guidance on how to perform it, give illustrations as to its "contents," etc), but "religion" in and of itself is not primarily concerned with "love" per se.

Regarding the discussion about spouses - that spouses of the same religion go through difficult times says nothing either good or bad about religion because religion is not a panacea for all personal and communal woes; people are people - religion doesn't make people perfect - but it does strive to make them better, and at the minimum, perhaps more self-aware of our actions and their effects on others.

That said, marriages of different faiths are wars waiting to happen, because most religions (probably all) are generally mutually exclusive in their ideas as to the nature of truth, reality, sin, and the afterlife. Although adults may be able to intellectually rationalize such things, once kids arrive, the gloves often come off because you can't raise a child in two religions at the same time because of their mutually exclusive nature (unless you create some "hybrid" religion that excludes the problematic areas).

Sharing the same faith doesn't guarantee smooth sailing, but I will tell you (from experience) that differing faiths add a very potent and often irreconcilable difference into an experience that is already challenging under the best of circumstances.

[hellsapoppin]

I don't believe in prejudice of any kind. Shame on those who use religious preference as a pretext of any kind.

[diamondhiker]

i think it is hard to put God in a box the big g that is
now there are many more little g gods everywhere, headmasters to their religeous doctrine

i do believe in the bible and claim to be a christian myself.. however i try hard as i might to keep a open mind. What dreams may wait...well that might be frightful couldn't it?

[hellsapoppin]

"Shame one those who abuse the word ‘pretext’."

OK, make that "excuse".

BTW, what's a 'namesian'??

[Redzeppelin]

I don't believe in prejudice of any kind. Shame on those who use religious preference as a pretext of any kind.


Since putting my foot in my mouth is a favorite pastime, I must ask if this is related to my response (it comes right after me and references no prior post). If it does not, then excuse the following:

Using religion as a "discriminator" for a future partner is simply prudent; because religious beliefs tend to be deeply connected to an individual's sense of identity, I think that few things have the ability to disrupt a home like differing religions - especially if children are involved.

Secondary Point: Every body has "filters" through which they view the world and by which certain decisions are made. Some people make their decisions based upon fear, or superstition, or research, or psychological truama, or personal preference, family loyalty, educational training, economic factors, geographical considerations, whatever; religion is simply another of those "filters." We use it for a context frame to guide the appropriateness of certain decisions.

[hellsapoppin]

Nope - my reply is only a response to prejudice, not to your post.


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As for namesian - sounds good to me. ;)

[Redzeppelin]

Nope - my reply is only a response to prejudice, not to your post.



Understood - thanks for clarifying.

[Cezar_TheScribe]

I don't believe in prejudice of any kind. Shame on those who use religious preference as a pretext of any kind.


Discrimination ≠ prejudice.
Shame one those who abuse the word ‘pretext’.

What about people that go by looks, weight, financial status, and so on. They are worse.


If a person is of a faith, it is only logical they would want to marry someone of that faith and belief system.

[aeroport]

What about people that go by looks, weight, financial status, and so on. They are worse.


If a person is of a faith, it is only logical they would want to marry someone of that faith and belief system.

All very true.

[hellsapoppin]

"They are worse."

To each their own. ;)

[naomi moon]

Religion is important to me as I am a Muslim but when it comes to love I guess that I can't really control my feelings, I just love the guy for what he is regardless his religion, look or complexion.
Marriage and founding a family is sth different as Virgil said. The only certainty is that I won't change my religion for anyone or any reason :)

[blazeofglory]

Do you believe religion is important in loving a person? Is it capable of changing your love for someone, just because this person you love does not belong to the same religion as you? Or will you continue to love this person no matter what religion he/she belongs to?

It is not necessary that religions are important. Religions are divisive forces. People in religions or feeling that they belong to particular sects or faiths tend to be scornful about others.

They define man in terms of the beliefs they hold. There so many religions. Man is one and his religion is sheer humanity natur.

Man is nature, a natural being. Do animals have faiths or religions. Do birds have nationalities. Do they pray? You too have descended from animalhood.

Religious people are bogus and they tend to be fascists and fundamentalists Thyey contaminate their life with religions.

[Within Me]

well, it absolutely means nothing to me. But i am facing this issue.
Though i don`t care about my mate`s religion, unfortunately it was a main reason for why i broke up with my soul mate.
I still blame my parents. U know "i`m not allowed to get married to an "Unchristian" man"
i still dont know what to do about it.
I just need to get on with my life without blaming my Religion !
It`s killing me !!

[Dark Muse]

Religion would not change my feelings for a person, so I would not "not" love a person because of what they believe, though in thinking of the long term and building a future with a person, I do think it would be important if we shared the same values. I personally prefer to be in a committed relationship to someone who will understand, respect, and share in my beliefs.

I have had friends of a wide varity of different creeds.

[wilbur lim]

Religion has a raft of different types,and our friends are eclectic,they can be Chinese,Muslims,and so on.If Chinese perceived that the Muslim's religion is disturbing,they will avoid them subsequently,and even a conflict will be present.

Thereby,let religion be our own thing and the negotiations of it to be terminated,or else it will be in a mess.

[blazeofglory]

Religions create gaps, gulfs between lovers. For example when a Hindu girl marries a Muslim girl she will not be accepted there until she becomes a convert.

Love must transcend all religious barriers, and nothing must come between the two save love. Let love be a religion onto itself, not a faith in some entities.

[Mortis Anarchy]

Religions create gaps, gulfs between lovers. For example when a Hindu girl marries a Muslim girl she will not be accepted there until she becomes a convert.

Love must transcend all religious barriers, and nothing must come between the two save love. Let love be a religion onto itself, not a faith in some entities.

Would they be accepted at all? Unless you mean't Hindu man and a Muslim girl or vice versa...

I was raised to have an openmind, but to still be aware of my religion. The only thing I was told that if I ever married someone outside of my own religion then it would be tougher when raising children etc. If I fell in love with someone that wasn't Catholic, then I wouldn't stop just because of that. I don't think religion should be a barrier. I doubt any God would want to seperate people...for me I have always thought of religion as a way to bring people together. Then again, my brother does call me a Cafeteria Catholic...

[Pendragon]

I will say this, I believe that loving someone is important in Religion. Whether Religion can say the same, and recall, I'm a Non-Denominational Ordained Minister, I couldn't swear to. People seem to equate "forced change" with "love", a non sequitor :) if I ever heard one!

[blazeofglory]

Would they be accepted at all? Unless you mean't Hindu man and a Muslim girl or vice versa...

I was raised to have an openmind, but to still be aware of my religion. The only thing I was told that if I ever married someone outside of my own religion then it would be tougher when raising children etc. If I fell in love with someone that wasn't Catholic, then I wouldn't stop just because of that. I don't think religion should be a barrier. I doubt any God would want to seperate people...for me I have always thought of religion as a way to bring people together. Then again, my brother does call me a Cafeteria Catholic...

I like your idea that love must transcend all barriers, and true love does so, but in essence fundamentalists have different ideas and they take religions differently in fact fanatically.

[mangueken]

If she could love me and my atheist views, I'm sure I could love her and whatever faith she followed - we just wouldn't be able to discuss religion at the dinner table, bedroom, holidays, kitchen, bathroom, living room, garage etc.

[dzebra]

If she could love me and my atheist views, I'm sure I could love her and whatever faith she followed - we just wouldn't be able to discuss religion at the dinner table, bedroom, holidays, kitchen, bathroom, living room, garage etc.

I've never had much luck discussing religion in the bathroom. :)

[blazeofglory]

In point of fact religions distance us from our real selves or our true identities. Do you like the idea of identifying yourself as a Christian or to put it differently having identified yourself as a christian do you become indifferent to or antagonize other religions? Can you be a Hindu, a Christian, a Buddhist, or Jain a the same time?

True love can not happen if you identify yourself with a religion. When you are in love you must forget your religions and any other identities.

[billyjack]

almost everyone i know who's found their "soulmate" is a devout christian, typically of the born-again sect. I'm wondering why that is?

granted i'm in my twenties and most of the people i know are still single, so i'm basing this on a very limited sample size

[NikolaiI]

In point of fact religions distance us from our real selves or our true identities.

Religion and spirituality are identical-- corrupt religion is not. Someone said on Jozanny's thread that religion was not open-minded. Sometimes it is, sometimes not-- Buddhists are open-minded, for instance! Or should be. Hinduism is largely about purifying the consciousness. Our original consciousness is pure, and can be restored, and when we are spiritually aware, we are liberated from suffering.


Do you like the idea of identifying yourself as a Christian or to put it differently having identified yourself as a christian do you become indifferent to or antagonize other religions?

Actually Bhagavad-Gita teaches us that the eternal way of the soul (sanatana-dharma) is service. No matter what we are doing we are serving some force. In general, in our current society, our actions serve the modes of material nature, to which we are bound by our conditioning. Dharma or religion has a gradual liberating effect. If we follow in the steps of the acaryas (or saints, teachers) we can make very rapid progress.


Can you be a Hindu, a Christian, a Buddhist, or Jain a the same time?

You are correct in that these creeds are bodily attachments and labels. They change with the body. But the soul has only one identity; service. If take shelter of the Lord, and serve Him alone, then we also are given His protection. If we serve anything else, then we are creating karma. The best path is the path of goodness, by which one is gradually elevated. Transcendental to material goodness, however, is service to God. All the paths of yoga are meant for the elevation or liberation of the soul; and bhakti-yoga is the highest yoga. Bhakti means devotion. But who should we love and be devoted to? God, because He is the source of all material and spiritual worlds. Yoga is the path to the Supreme, and if we are serving the Supreme, then every breath is yoga. Whatever you serve, that is what you go towards. So if you serve the government, you become associated, entangled, or attached to that-- the same with sense gratification or anything else. If we serve the Lord, then we begin the (very long) path to the Supreme.


True love can not happen if you identify yourself with a religion. When you are in love you must forget your religions and any other identities.

Actually true love cannot happen without religion. Krishna says in the Gita, "Dispatch with all religions and simply surrender to Me." So we are indeed meant to do away with labels and creeds. But also, this life is meant for something higher than mundane affairs. Self-realization is the highest pursuit of living entities. You understand that when you wish to water a tree, you do not water the leaves or the bark; but you water the roots. Similarly, if we wish to do anything in the material world, we should serve with the devotion the source and root of all existence-- God. From the root, the water is given to the rest of the body; just as from the stomach, food is turned into energy for the whole body. This life is meant for inquiry into questions such as "Who am I?" "Who is God?" "What is my relationship to God"? And God is so merciful that He gave us the answers. He is the Supreme Lord, the Supreme Person, the Supreme Truth and the Supersoul. We are individual parts and parcels of the Whole. In truth, all exists in relation to the Supreme. We are infinitecimal parts of the Supreme.

[bree]

I think that in an ideal world two people who love each other would be of the same religion, however this is not always necessary as they say love conquers all.

[jhonerliz]

religion doesn't matter for me. my husband and i have different beliefs but it is not a hindrance in our relationship.
I admit, we sometimes have debate about it but we still respect our different beliefs.

[El Viejo]

Our ability to love corresponds in part to our ability to enjoy, appreciate, or at least not mind, the other person's quirks and facets, including their religion. How our religion affects our ability to love depends on the tenents of our religion and how strictly we adhere to them.

[maraki16]

love should not know of barriers. if a religion can change the feelings we have about a person who does not share the same religion as we do, then we do not really love him.the only possibility for this to happen, would be if the religion of this person affected some of his beliefs about how we should treat others, respect them etc. if his beliefs on such matters were contradictory to mine due to his religion(something that is not necessarily an outcome of our religion), then i do not think i would love him, because i would not like the way he thinks, what he believes. i would not love his character.
now, relationships with no accordance on religious beliefs might be difficult on the long run, but i believe that if the practice of the religion is not of prior concern to the couple, little problems might occur, for which they can still find a solution.

[RG57]

It is only important if that is the way you feel. Personally, I do not think that religion matters when it comes to loving another person. Sadly I did when I was in my youth and it destroyed something that started out to be a good relationship.
My wife and i are both Christians, I attend a church and she does not and both are with the way things are. Also when we got together she was not a Christian, she became one some years later but it was not of influence. I would be just as happy with if she were a Buddist!

[blazeofglory]

Would they be accepted at all? Unless you mean't Hindu man and a Muslim girl or vice versa...

I was raised to have an openmind, but to still be aware of my religion. The only thing I was told that if I ever married someone outside of my own religion then it would be tougher when raising children etc. If I fell in love with someone that wasn't Catholic, then I wouldn't stop just because of that. I don't think religion should be a barrier. I doubt any God would want to seperate people...for me I have always thought of religion as a way to bring people together. Then again, my brother does call me a Cafeteria Catholic...

In fact it is very hard when we choose a life partner out side of our race or religion. In fact man has no religion. I do not see you need a religion. I am still spiritual in the sense I like great thoughts I come across different religions and different people. I like Krishna, Buddha, Jesus, Mohamed and the like. However I am against Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity and the like. They divide us.

[NikolaiI]

Blaze religion means different things. For me religion is sanatana-dharma, the eternal way of the soul. Dharma means religion also. Sometimes people practice religion because they wish economic development or they wish to go to heaven, but heaven is still in the material world. Religious development is material unless it is worship of God. Then it is perfect. Everyone has different understandings of God and some love Him but some do not. Those who do not love God would not understand at all, but God created us all and originally, we are in blissful loving service of Him. Religion comes from God, and it is the natural way of the soul. Naturally, we have knowledge and are full of bliss-- that is our spiritual identity. Enlightenment is to know our relationship as eternal servents of God. Enlightenment is simply to awaken love of God. Since our true position or religion is eternal servitor of God, until we know this we are in ignorance. So, there are different understandings of what religion is, just as there are different understandings of what God is. Relationships are difficult but without God life is going to be misunderstood. People of different faiths can come together quite easily. The question is not what faith you belong to, but whether you are sincere, whether you are kind, have the potential to grow and things like this. Relationships are based on love, and love must also have kindness to exist and grow.

[AMDG]

It really depends on the situation.
But personally I would marry any one if I loved them because for me, love triumphs over religious beliefs. And even though I believe a family that prays together stays together, I believe if both made the effort to work things out, the marriage could work...

[skasian]

It is important that we must love everyone regardless of any differences they may have with us. We must also love our enemies and the people who have caused us great pain.

[Babyguile]

I love the results of this poll very much.

[Neo_Sephiroth]

It's all good, yo! :)

[angel92]

It think that religion is not important when you love someone because you love their characteristics and how they make you feel not what their ideals are.

[kiki1982]

I don't think it should matter, or at least it should be thought of before any serious relationship is considered.

Personally I am a Christian (not very devout but I do believe and do not make a secret of it) and my now husband has gone through Anglican and now Wicca. (a little through reading Dan Brown too much I'm afraid) We got married in church, maybe more through my wishes than his, but anyway.

As long as he respects my belief, I respect his. I will never be found to offer to the Goddess, and he will never be found worshipping in church (as I will rarely be found to do so).
As far as children go, we have agreed, or at least I think so, that each of us will do his best to involve the children in our own religion.
At first my husband found that we should make the decide themselves when they were older, but I found that it is better to experience and then decide.
As I believe in God in the Rousseau sense, the God my husband worships is the same as mine. If we explain that to the children, I don't think it will matter to them. The only thing they will end up with is a good decision, whether it is Christianity, Islam, Judaism or Wicca.

[Eugenie]

Well I might love deeply a person with different religious beliefs, but I would choose not to marry that one.
If two persons are going on a journey, and one is travelling to the East and one to the West,and if that journey is to find a permanent home, there is no point in the two becoming one. Two persons cannot walk down the same road if they are going different directions from that road.
The world is full of grief because for instance a western woman has married a person of Islam and there is a falling out and the man, in sincere belief has taken the children and the mother forever is separated from her little ones.
Or perhaps in the west a mother and father are fighting and the mother runs with the children and claims the father is abusive. Even if that is not true and the court finds for the father as well as the mother, all the time in between surely destroys the peace and happiness of all involved.
But if two marry who agree on the principals and are compatible in almost all things, they are walking toward the same goals, feel similar about the walk they wish to take and by and large expect the same sort of things. Even if things go wrong they can be worked out by two who agree deeply.
So, no, only someone who was on the same journey would I marry.
Love it is true never fails, but it has to be True love, not changeable love according to the whims of the person. In that case 'love' certainly will not win out, it is not enough.

[Mathor]

I answer the question honestly when I say I would love a person regardless of religion. And I think most of us would have that same answer. However, you cannot deny that it would be hard to make a relationship work if people don't agree, especially between and atheist and a theist. And I think that's for any overall belief, even regarding politics. It's hard for me to know that my mother has different beliefs and different politics than me. Like most people i don't care, they should believe what they want to believe. But if you love someone than you want what's best for them and if you feel like they are making some sort of error or mistake then it's hard to just ignore that I think.

[blazeofglory]

I do not think religions must come in when it comes to relationship at all. And if any person can not continue loving taking religions as impediments he or she is then not really loving, and just make pretext of loving.

Love is over and above all creeds, faiths, beliefs. Just feel how great you are when someone deeply loves you. Love is often likened to God.

[mona amon]

I don't think different religions are a barrier when it comes to loving someone. And I do not think it will affect living together as long as one respects the other's beliefs. But it could develop into a problem when the children come.

[hikeandread]

It's hard for me to imagine anyone saying "No" to this question. Religious views are not really religious views at all if they are not deeply held. After all, they reflect our very view of what life means and what is important. That being the case, saying that religion doesn't matter between partners in a relationship is to say that how the partners view the essence of life is unimportant. I think we can all see where that line of reasoning would lead :)

[Emmy Castrol]

Initially I thought it was closed minded of me if I thought that the person I marry had to have the same faith.

A painful and terrible long term relationship later, I realise that for me, it is critical that the person I marry believes the same as I do. Saying that, I think it is an individual decision because everyone has different tolerance levels.

For me, it bothers me if my partner has different taste in people to me. Even movie and music stars. I am not very forgiving if he has a good opinion of a pop star that I cannot stand. Fortunately for me, I have since found (and about to marry) someone who has the exact same taste in people, who shares the same faith (although he didn't begin that way when we first started), and who holds a mindset closest to mine than I could ever hope to find in this world.

[Tsuyoiko]

It depends. Although I'm an atheist, I love someone who's a devoted Catholic, albeit not a very observant one. We don't talk about religion; we have other things in common. I know some religious people who bring religion into almost every conversation, and I don't think I could love someone like that.

[RobinHood3000]

I feel that so long as two people are mature and respectful of one another's beliefs, what you DO and how you ACT are far more relevant to a caring, loving relationship than what you believe.

[mystery_spell]

Religion is not important to love. I am aware that, for some, religion is a huge part of their lives and marrying or being in love with someone of a different religion would be considered craziness and quite terrible. Because of that, I'd have to say that it is dependent on the situation. For the people who consider religion to be of essential importance in their lives, then, sure, religion matters for love. However, as a general rule, you can fall in love with anyone, regardless of their religion.

[Neo_Sephiroth]

It depends on the individual.

[illuminatus]

It really depends on the situation.
But personally I would marry any one if I loved them because for me, love triumphs over religious beliefs. And even though I believe a family that prays together stays together, I believe if both made the effort to work things out, the marriage could work...

Agreed. :)

[Niamh]

Do you believe religion is important in loving a person? Is it capable of changing your love for someone, just because this person you love does not belong to the same religion as you? Or will you continue to love this person no matter what religion he/she belongs to?

Love is above religion, and what a persons religion is should not prevent you from loving them.

[opynicus]

Love comes once in a lifetime, and I don't think I'd have the guts to push that special person away on the basis of belief alone. I would be far more apt to judge a person based on their morals in a relationship, because an atheist can be moral and a religious person can be completely ammoral.

But all the same, it comes down to love being present. Besides, if religion is important to you, maybe you will see God's (Buddha, whoever) blessing on that relationship despite the fact that someone else does not. Do you only have friends of the same religion? Why should love be any different?

[The Comedian]

My wife and I are of different religions: she's a Jew and I participate in nearly every aspect of Jewish life with her (she's really reform, though). I worship my Fantasy Football team, and the NFL more generally, which she tolerates insofar as I practice my faith when its convenient. :lol:

[blazeofglory]

That religion is an important factor in loving a person is totally a stupid idea.

Love is unblemished and religions breed kind of divisiveness and it fragmentation.

Of course religions kind of stagnate us and it has kind created voids. In point of religions must not come in between two souls.

[billyjack]

love and religion are both irrational and idealized. seems like they'd go together pees and carrots style

[Lynne Fees]

I can "love" anyone of any religion, or someone of no religion. However, marrying someone of a different religion would not work. Marriage is very difficult at times (I've been married for 29 years - to the same person, even!) Our faith in Christ is the only thing which kept us together at times.

[subterranean]

The thread title does not correspond with the poll. And love is such a big word.

[billyjack]

I can "love" anyone of any religion, or someone of no religion. However, marrying someone of a different religion would not work. Marriage is very difficult at times (I've been married for 29 years - to the same person, even!) Our faith in Christ is the only thing which kept us together at times.

perhaps marriage is a sham then if its base need be solidified with religion in order for it to work. just a thought

[The Comedian]

Marriage is about more than love. If faith is really important to an individual, then I can see how one would not marry someone else because of a conflict in faith. Such a value does not make marriage a "sham". Marriage is not a sham, but it ain't no everlasting first-date either.

(Yes, I know I used a double-negative in the sentence ^, but I just don't not no care neither).

[Lynne Fees]

perhaps marriage is a sham then if its base need be solidified with religion in order for it to work. just a thought

I agree with you, as long as you see religion as a set of rules to follow and hoops to jump. I disagree in my context, as I am not talking about religion, but a relationship my husband and I both have with God, as outlined in the Bible. The deal God makes is: I'll give you my word, and my son, and you will do your best to do live your life according to my word. Including not divorcing your spouse.
So what "solidifies" the relationship is a greater goal than personal happiness. The personal happiness might come way, way later. In fact, studies have shown that married people who WANTED to leave and didn't are happy five years later. So I guess God was right about marriage, after all?


Marriage is about more than love. If faith is really important to an individual, then I can see how one would not marry someone else because of a conflict in faith. Such a value does not make marriage a "sham". Marriage is not a sham, but it ain't no everlasting first-date either.

(Yes, I know I used a double-negative in the sentence ^, but I just don't not no care neither).

I'm glad we're talking about faith now, and not religion. The more values a couple shares, the better their chances. From your double negative sentence, you sound like you speak from experience. Experience with marriage, not with the English language!:)

[Scheherazade]

The more values a couple shares, the better their chances. Do we need to share the same religion or same religious views to be able to share moral values?

[Silas Thorne]

This poll is a little too limited. There are only two options. What about these for a start:


I would love a person regardless of what religion he/she was, provided that it wasn't .......

I would only love a person that was of the same religion, but I could love someone of a different sect within that religion.

I would only love a person that was not religious.

and, I would love a person provided he/she did not try to sacrifice our firstborn to appease underworld spirits.

[Lynne Fees]

Do we need to share the same religion or same religious views to be able to share moral values?

Once again, we're on "religion." Does that mean Christianity vs. Islam vs. Judaism vs. Buddhism, or does it mean Catholic vs. Baptist vs. Methodist?
I think shared moral values in a marriage have to be based on something, i.e., the Old & New Testament, the Koran or the Old Testament only. I think love is for everyone. (Sounds like the song, "What the World Needs Now;" talk about CORNY!!) I do not think marriage is for everyone who loves someone.


This poll is a little too limited. There are only too options. What about these for a start:


I would love a person regardless of what religion he/she was, provided that it wasn't .......

I would only love a person that was of the same religion, but I could love someone of a different sect within that religion.

I would only love a person that was not religious.

and, I would love a person provided he/she did not try to sacrifice our firstborn to appease underworld spirits.

I would also have a problem with that last one

[jakobmuller]

Once again, we're on "religion." Does that mean Christianity vs. Islam vs. Judaism vs. Buddhism, or does it mean Catholic vs. Baptist vs. Methodist?
I think shared moral values in a marriage have to be based on something, i.e., the Old & New Testament, the Koran or the Old Testament only. I think love is for everyone. (Sounds like the song, "What the World Needs Now;" talk about CORNY!!) I do not think marriage is for everyone who loves someone.

How exactly is "New Testament" love different from "Koran Love"?

I think the only thing that isn't a sham in religion is the core moral values that they all tend to share.

[RobinHood3000]

Do we need to share the same religion or same religious views to be able to share moral values?
Personally, I vote no on this one - what one does is just as important as what one believes, and almost everyone in functioning society already shares the broadest system of beliefs.

[Lynne Fees]

How exactly is "New Testament" love different from "Koran Love"?

I think the only thing that isn't a sham in religion is the core moral values that they all tend to share.

There are several types of love mentioned in the Bible. Like physical love and brotherly love. Agape love is a matter of the will, and is not contingent on anything.

The core moral values of which you speak come from the fact that we were created in God's image.

[RobinHood3000]

There are several types of love mentioned in the Bible. Like physical love and brotherly love. Agape love is a matter of the will, and is not contingent on anything.

The core moral values of which you speak come from the fact that we were created in God's image.I dunno about that. The animal kingdom is rich with examples of morally parallel behavior such as monogamy or compassion for the weak.

[MissScarlett]

I don't mind what religion a person belongs to as long as he or she is nice. I could be friends with someone of any religion, but as for love and marriage, if the religions were radically different, I think there might be problems. I'm Catholic and my husband is Protestant. We are close in our beliefs, but not exactly the same, plus I'm rather a lapsed Catholic, I'm afraid. But a devout Catholic and a devout Muslim or a devout Jew might have problems.

I didn't vote. I would love someone of a different religion as long as it wasn't so radical as to not cause a conflict in the relationship. As far as friendship goes, I don't care what religion a person is as long as that person is nice.

[Lynne Fees]

I dunno about that. The animal kingdom is rich with examples of morally parallel behavior such as monogamy or compassion for the weak.

Some animals exhibit monogamy, yes. And I know my dog is very protective of small children in our home and yard - and the neighbor's yard, too! But your original quote spoke of the core moral values universally espoused by Christianity, Islam and Judaism. Those are the ones of which I spoke when I said we were created in God's image.

[Niamh]

I can "love" anyone of any religion, or someone of no religion. However, marrying someone of a different religion would not work. Marriage is very difficult at times (I've been married for 29 years - to the same person, even!) Our faith in Christ is the only thing which kept us together at times.

Once again, we're on "religion." Does that mean Christianity vs. Islam vs. Judaism vs. Buddhism, or does it mean Catholic vs. Baptist vs. Methodist?

two of my closest friends are of different religions and happily married. Religion does not play a major role in their love for each other and doesnt not control the way the live.
I also know some very happy married couples were one is muslim and the other is catholic. They are also very happy.
This is why i believe that religion is NOT important when it comes to loving someone.
I'm Catholic, and if i fell in love with someone, whether they were protestant, Jewish, Muslim, Buddist etc it would not matter. The only thing that would matter to me was our personal relationship, our companionship, and our feelings.

[Lynne Fees]

two of my closest friends are of different religions and happily married. Religion does not play a major role in their love for each other and doesnt not control the way the live.
I also know some very happy married couples were one is muslim and the other is catholic. They are also very happy.
This is why i believe that religion is NOT important when it comes to loving someone.
I'm Catholic, and if i fell in love with someone, whether they were protestant, Jewish, Muslim, Buddist etc it would not matter. The only thing that would matter to me was our personal relationship, our companionship, and our feelings.

I am glad your friends are happy. It sounds like they are spirtually parallel. Maybe since neither has strong faith, the other's lack of faith is not an issue. Sometimes marriages are strongly tested by life's events, though, and I personally think those with a common strong faith in Christ can weather the storm better. It's not a matter of religion, after all, but of faith.

[jakobmuller]

...almost everyone in functioning society already shares the broadest system of beliefs.

exactly :thumbs_up

[Niamh]

Humans have been pairing for thousands of years, long before one god, "Christ", or anyone else for that matter. I am sure our prehistoric ansestors loved and it was more than likely because of the person and not the religion "if" they had one at all which is highly debatable.

[Lynne Fees]

Humans have been pairing for thousands of years, long before one god, "Christ", or anyone else for that matter. I am sure our prehistoric ansestors loved and it was more than likely because of the person and not the religion "if" they had one at all which is highly debatable.

Historically, marriage was pretty much a guy purchasing a sex mate. Until God gave Moses some good rules to make marriage a picture of the future relationship between Christ and the church. Love didn't have much to do with it early on.


Personally, I vote no on this one - what one does is just as important as what one believes, and almost everyone in functioning society already shares the broadest system of beliefs.

Where does this broad system of beliefs come from?

[billyjack]

herd mentality

[Mortis Anarchy]

I can't imagine not loving a person because of a difference in religion. But from what certain family members have discussed with me, its not so much religion being a barrier between the couple, but rather if they have children, what religion will be the one they practice. So, I highly doubt that religion is important in loving a person, but important to some people in their family life.

[Lynne Fees]

I can't imagine not loving a person because of a difference in religion. But from what certain family members have discussed with me, its not so much religion being a barrier between the couple, but rather if they have children, what religion will be the one they practice. So, I highly doubt that religion is important in loving a person, but important to some people in their family life.

That is very true! It seems like children from "believe whatever you want" end up believing in nothing. I wonder why that is?

[Rorshach69]

i personally believe that organized 'religion' is sheer stupidity and that people who consider themselves religious are liars/hypocritical/not fully consious. this would be a big problem for me to date someone considering themselves under one finite category of faith. spiritual people do not dissapoint me however; finding thier own path and intuition/thought of the creation and existience of our human race. it is not a crime to have hope, but it is a crime to be 'religious' in my eyes.
It is my firm belief that people only follow "religion" because deep down they are afraid to die. It also makes me laugh when people affirm themselves that theirs is the true religion. I don't see how the human race has benefited from religion, all of the world's major conflicts sprouted from organized religion.

[Rorshach69]

Historically, marriage was pretty much a guy purchasing a sex mate. Until God gave Moses some good rules to make marriage a picture of the future relationship between Christ and the church. Love didn't have much to do with it early on.


Well that might be true. But statistically speaking divorce rates were lower.

[Drkshadow03]

Well that might be true. But statistically speaking divorce rates were lower.

You have statistics on the divorce rates in the Ancient world to support this contention I presume?

[Lynne Fees]

Well that might be true. But statistically speaking divorce rates were lower.

I think marriage has transformed somewhat for the good - at least it's voluntary now! Maybe it's a little to easy to end it, though, unfortunately for the children involved.

[kiki1982]

Well that might be true. But statistically speaking divorce rates were lower.

Well of course divorce rates were lower... If one is not allowed to divorce, one stays married. The question is not whether people stayed married, the question is whether people were happy together.

Beside that there is an issue with the institution of marriage. Lynne Fees mentioned that it was rather about purchasing a mate, which was not true all of the time (marriages out of love were made), but the institution 'marriage' did imply a family unit with children exclusively from the pater familias (what man would want to care for the off-spring of possibly another? It is still an issue and the reason why it is more difficult for a woman with children to find another man than it is for a woman without children to find one) and recognised by everyone.

But the marriage purely out of love is a fairly new phenomenon. Before a marriage was something to unite families, a political tool or even diplomatic. The Dukes of Burgundy were very good at that. Cleopatra was not afraid to do it first with Ceasar and than with Mark Anthony, if it could save her empire. Unfortunately it did not, but it could well have worked. The marriage out of love and love itself became a real obsession when the Romantics took over literature and poetry. In the times of Shakespeare tjere used to be love-poetry, ad even before that, but marriage was not really a part of that. Donne wrote poems to his mistress. Marriage was business and love was for outside of that. Marriage produced legitimate children, mistresses preferably produced none, or otherwise they were cared for but did not have real rights. The romantics paired up the two. That is where we get our image from, but maybe it is too rosy. I have the impression it is. Marriage is not being in love which stays for ever! It needs careful attention, like a contract, in order not to break it. Love provides a good base, but living together is not the same as going to your boyfriend and spending the day with him, or even the afternoon. That is I think where most people go wrong. They do not want to try to work things out because they expect it to be a marriage in true romantic style.

Marriage is as old as society is, only our image of it has changed and that is why we divorce and older cultures did not, or rarely.

[JBI]

You have statistics on the divorce rates in the Ancient world to support this contention I presume?

I thought divorce amongst Romans was radically high. Of course, one could say that generally the most feminist, or proto-feminist of cultures seem to have higher divorce rates. Iroquois Divorce rates, for instance, were, supposedly, staggeringly high, to the point that Francis Brooke highly criticized that as an aspect of savagery in her early novel The History of Emily Montague. Perhaps though, this is a western phenomenon. Certainly though, the most misogynist of cultures have lower rates.

[Drkshadow03]

I thought divorce amongst Romans was radically high. Of course, one could say that generally the most feminist, or proto-feminist of cultures seem to have higher divorce rates. Iroquois Divorce rates, for instance, were, supposedly, staggeringly high, to the point that Francis Brooke highly criticized that as an aspect of savagery in her early novel The History of Emily Montague. Perhaps though, this is a western phenomenon. Certainly though, the most misogynist of cultures have lower rates.

Yeah, I heard that too. But I wonder if he had any statistics to back up his claim or if he was just making assumptions.

[Rorshach69]

You have statistics on the divorce rates in the Ancient world to support this contention I presume?

Well in ancient Rome, you needed mutual consent for divorce. Similar to todays society. The difference is the roles women played back then. They were considered property, so what man in his right mind back then would give up someone who cleaned the dwelling, cooked his food, and did many other tasks essential to the home. He had totally dominance over her. So she may be begging for a divorce but it was up to both of them. So that is why i said statistically speaking there were lower divorce rates. Because from what i read there were not a lot of divorce in ancient Rome

[kilted exile]

in loving the person - no

in being able to live with a person happilly - yes, unfortunately

[JBI]

Well in ancient Rome, you needed mutual consent for divorce. Similar to todays society. The difference is the roles women played back then. They were considered property, so what man in his right mind back then would give up someone who cleaned the dwelling, cooked his food, and did many other tasks essential to the home. He had totally dominance over her. So she may be begging for a divorce but it was up to both of them. So that is why i said statistically speaking there were lower divorce rates. Because from what i read there were not a lot of divorce in ancient Rome

Yes, but politically, the citizens at any rate would divorce to get better, more opportune marriages, and in addition to this, there is no real statistic, because divorce was a private, rather than public affair, and could be done on whim, without any legal proceedings. In truth, one merely just needed to separate to get divorced. On that note, one could simply decide they want a different partner, and divorce their wife (as they were still misogynist to an extreme) and run off with the money.

[Ludmila607]

I think I can tolerate another religion person cause I am not dogmatic on religion matters. of course persons tend to look for similarities in values, tastes, beliefs or polithic ideas...it doesnt seem the other must be "Equal..." or must be a" mirror..." but I personally can tolerate differences in some aspects....cause my own beliefs are sincretic
I will never married a mormon!!!!

Or a fascist...

[Lynne Fees]

But the marriage purely out of love is a fairly new phenomenon. Before a marriage was something to unite families, a political tool or even diplomatic. The Dukes of Burgundy were very good at that. Cleopatra was not afraid to do it first with Ceasar and than with Mark Anthony, if it could save her empire. Unfortunately it did not, but it could well have worked. The marriage out of love and love itself became a real obsession when the Romantics took over literature and poetry. In the times of Shakespeare tjere used to be love-poetry, ad even before that, but marriage was not really a part of that. Donne wrote poems to his mistress. Marriage was business and love was for outside of that. Marriage produced legitimate children, mistresses preferably produced none, or otherwise they were cared for but did not have real rights. The romantics paired up the two. That is where we get our image from, but maybe it is too rosy. I have the impression it is. Marriage is not being in love which stays for ever! It needs careful attention, like a contract, in order not to break it. Love provides a good base, but living together is not the same as going to your boyfriend and spending the day with him, or even the afternoon. That is I think where most people go wrong. They do not want to try to work things out because they expect it to be a marriage in true romantic style.

Marriage is as old as society is, only our image of it has changed and that is why we divorce and older cultures did not, or rarely.

I agree with this analysis. I would also add that, if more people had true, unconditional love, marriages would last longer AND be happier!

[Rorshach69]

Yes, but politically, the citizens at any rate would divorce to get better, more opportune marriages, and in addition to this, there is no real statistic, because divorce was a private, rather than public affair, and could be done on whim, without any legal proceedings. In truth, one merely just needed to separate to get divorced. On that note, one could simply decide they want a different partner, and divorce their wife (as they were still misogynist to an extreme) and run off with the money.

Good point, my original point i think was something like a marriage with love lasts just about as long as one without. Mans image of love is way overrated and unjustified usually.

[kiki1982]

But if it is true what JBI says about divorce rates being high amongst the Romans then it is not so much love they valued, but maybe changing politics.

Correct me if I am wrong, but Romans knew very well the importance of family bonds and politics through wives and daughters. I can imagine that when you were married to the wrong woman, you were not really valued in the Senate anymore, possibly even murdered or sent to a far away country. If that problem could be solved by getting rid of your wife, why not?

Or did they just value their women as their slaves? And were they as decadent as is believed?

[lys]

what i really think is that if their relationship is based on true love than there has to be 100% respect in all aspects.....for me love is a blanket that two people decide to knit together, a blanket woven out of the most delicate materials, a colourful blanket patches of colour symbolising the relationship between the two lovers..........love occurs when two people, two individuals, two social beings both with their own lives meet up and bond in every possible way- emotionally, mentally, socially, physically.if you truly love somebody trust is the most important thing... trusting someone so much that you actually let him/her be different from you and trust that person enough that you dont interfeer their religious beliefs even if it is culturally radically different from yours.. coz where there is true love you are able to respect unconditionally without buts......no religion although i am a faithful christian should not get in the way of a loving relationship......i dont think that my God wants me to get hurt because of the different religions......love is a sanctuary and could do radical changes.....

[Lynne Fees]

Your post ended the feuding - focusing on love really helps, doesn't it?

[miss tenderness]

Or will you continue to love this person no matter what religion he/she belongs to?

I belive that likeness and love aren't things which we can contol , stop or continue.

[Buh4Bee]

My husband is an atheist and I love Christ. We have long debates and still sleep in the same bed each night. I think it is doable to be with someone who has different beliefs from you. It keeps things interesting! Keepin' it real!

[dr.nor]

i think it's very important that the person who i love shares with me every thing ,,including religion

[Niamh]

what i really think is that if their relationship is based on true love than there has to be 100% respect in all aspects.....for me love is a blanket that two people decide to knit together, a blanket woven out of the most delicate materials, a colourful blanket patches of colour symbolising the relationship between the two lovers..........love occurs when two people, two individuals, two social beings both with their own lives meet up and bond in every possible way- emotionally, mentally, socially, physically.if you truly love somebody trust is the most important thing... trusting someone so much that you actually let him/her be different from you and trust that person enough that you dont interfeer their religious beliefs even if it is culturally radically different from yours.. coz where there is true love you are able to respect unconditionally without buts......no religion although i am a faithful christian should not get in the way of a loving relationship......i dont think that my God wants me to get hurt because of the different religions......love is a sanctuary and could do radical changes.....
An amazing philosophy that i 100% agree with. Thank you Lys.

[Virgil]

what i really think is that if their relationship is based on true love than there has to be 100% respect in all aspects.....for me love is a blanket that two people decide to knit together, a blanket woven out of the most delicate materials, a colourful blanket patches of colour symbolising the relationship between the two lovers..........love occurs when two people, two individuals, two social beings both with their own lives meet up and bond in every possible way- emotionally, mentally, socially, physically.if you truly love somebody trust is the most important thing... trusting someone so much that you actually let him/her be different from you and trust that person enough that you dont interfeer their religious beliefs even if it is culturally radically different from yours.. coz where there is true love you are able to respect unconditionally without buts......no religion although i am a faithful christian should not get in the way of a loving relationship......i dont think that my God wants me to get hurt because of the different religions......love is a sanctuary and could do radical changes.....

Let me second Niamh, that is beautiful and true.

But let me also put in a word of reality. The only way that religions get in the way within a relationship is that cultural customs (dietary customs quickly come to mind, but there are others even more complicated) can interfere with compatibility.