Idle Good Morning (Help!)

[Kent Edwins]

Hey guys. I'm still sort of new here, and I don't post a lot... yet. But I've been writing a poem recently and it doesn't seem quite right. Any suggestions?

Idle Good Morning

I step outside on this morning of gray clouds
hanging over
No rain delivered by idle night
Pensive and nauseous I scan
for an unobtainable sun
Which buldging stormclouds defend
And as I traverse these wasted yards
Some long-forgotten sickness wakes up within

It tickles my throat with
cough after violent cough
forcing something out of my inners,
which begs to be delivered

Head ached, stomach knotted, throat clogged
Good Friday
The clouds will break
The rain will fall
And You will Witness The reBirth
of my long staled spirit.

[antiprefix]

It's not bad. You describe squalor well. However, I would work more on line break and make better use of punctuation. Content wise, you are well on way. Teddy was right, poets frequently reference the weather in relation to their emotions.

[Kent Edwins]

Thanks! The line break part looks better on paper, however didn't turn out to well when I posted it on this forum...