With Me?

[Sarasvati21]

I'm always a little nervous to share my work. This is the first poem I've posted on this site...comments are welcome. =]


* * *

Where are you?
Why do you not heed my call?
Please--
Is it too much to ask of you
To reach down from where you are
And take my hand
And hold me close
And whisper into my ear
That you are there,
That you will always be there,
That you have always been there--
What have I done?
What have I done to keep you away from me?
I ask you back with all my heart
With open arms
I fall on my knees before you
And beg you to turn around
To show your face to me,
Just once,
To tell me you’re still there--
Come back,
Come back to me
Tell me there is something more with me
Than merely my own shadow--
Take me into your arms
Rock me
Comfort me
Stroke my hair
Pat my back
While I sob into your shoulder--
Sob out all the hardships I have endured
The pain
The confusion
The fear…
Take it all away,
Take it all away from me
Tell me that you’ll help me bear it
Tell me you’ll never leave me--
Just
Tell me
You are here
With me

[blazeofglory]

Very intersting. It seems you have undergone the experiences you put through. Here there is total surrenderr

[forcedtobe]

soo sorry for anyone and everyone that even feels the way you showed in this poem, its so sad and full of longing..i hope no one goes through that and anyone that has, i hope you can feel better..someday..and that things will happen for the best either way..

i love this poem, but i dont know why...just do..

[Tournesol]

I really like this poem.
I can sense your pain. But, I think that you could use some more metaphors to really drive home the pain, you know, to give the knife a twist.
But, I understand completely how you feel.
Don't worry, we aren't given burdens/troubles that we cannot bear. Every trial we experience we can triumph over it. And you'll be stronger in the end.

[Sarasvati21]

Thank you, everyone, for your feedback.

Tournesol, I know what you mean. I'll see if there, perhaps, is something that would be worth adding to it.

[Beautifull]

hey...
that...was...the most beautifull poem i've read so far...
you have a talent...
something about this poem beckons me...calls out to me...draws me closer.
once again i say...you have a talent.