Any opinions? please be as honest as possible...

[Jamesbrowne]

I wrote this poem for my dad who unfortunately suffers from a mental disorder Called Bi-polar syndrome (or something along those lines) its about how I hate him for how he is but also how I could never stop loving him because he taught me some of the most important lessons in my life. It's also about my fear of one day inheriting the disease. It's called "Jim".


North pole seemed to bleed
it let the masses in,
A swarm of tangled trust and deeds
a love that made me grin,

Then the south conspired against
the opposite of course,
took my love and made a fence
staked down by hatreds force

Rogue emotions and twisted thoughts
None of which i see and feel,
but reported by those entwined
My deepest fear is real,

Thank you father for your gift
of knowledge and of honor,
And also for the solid truth
That I come first.

[Pendragon]

Well, as one who suffers from Bi-Polar myself, and has three kids, all of which have inherited problems, but continue to love their old dad, I can tell you your dad needs more than this poem. He needs you to cut him a break, he really cannot help the way things are going. If you inherit the disease as you fear, you will know all too well, and I pray you don't.

That said, the poem is good, the imagery mystical. North and South poles are wonderful indicators of the mood swings that change Bi-Polar people into different individuals. The fact that thoughts twist and entwine you bring out, showing understanding. And finally, you show that you believe that he did love you through it all with your wrap up line. Excellent!

Pendragon

[Virgil]

I really liked this stanza:

Rogue emotions and twisted thoughts
None of which i see and feel,
but reported by those entwined
My deepest fear is real,

I really liked how you didn't rhyme the last line. It gives the poem a concluding tension.

The one place I didn't care for was "staked down by hatreds force." What hatred are you talking about? It doesn't seem to fit.

But pretty good overall. :)

[antiprefix]

The poem is decent. Your language is strong. Remember, you can always emotionally override certain mental dysfunction. If you're afraid of becoming unstable, then practice stability of action, speak, et cetera.