crescendo/aftermath

[amuse]

you used to
love
me, i
used to breathe


before i
became
your piano and

you
changed my
pitch
surprised pleased
horrified me
with my
melodies

controlled
pedals and
keys, fine tuning me,
loving me
with a master's eyes,
a master's touch
ripples like no other

destructive suicidal
notes

i loved
your fingers
my mayhem,
madman's vortex
your song,
our fun.

skipping stones,
child's play.
late mornings
roomfuls of secrets
laughter that no
music could
ever explain,
could ever
emulate,
define, follow.

i miss the rapture the chills
the long sweet
sighs that
lasted twice
as long as
forever

i even loved dying
because i loved you.

i still love you.

i hated
discordant notes
when you played me over
and over and
over and overoveroveroverandover
i hated the
screams
when my hair was a tear mop.
when i couldn't stop the pain.

[Jay]

I like this poem sooo much.


you used to
love
me, I
used to breathe




destructive suicidal
notes

now this is where I remembered the notes sheets after a loooong lesson of drums not knowing anymore where my hands and feet are anymore, not even mentioning where is right and where left.


laughter that no
music could
ever explain,

*gets dreamy* well, you know ;)

to make me rantings over, me likes this :p

[amuse]

thanks! Jay

i didn't know you played drums, btw. you need to practice for your dorm-mates in the wee hours. j.k.

funny...i was thinking of the piano being a percussion instrument when i hit the "notes" "overoveroveroverandover."

[Jester]

I like how you cut the lines but it provides an abrupt reading... you pause after each line instinctivly making each one have its own private meaning and not as whole then one has to go back and find the whole meaning...

Great poem, really!

[Jay]

I especially liked the darky feeling of this one, even darker than nuclear mushroom clouds.

[amuse]

re: "these days" it sorta shocked me with all the war symbolism. like i really was going to eat with friends at a vietnamese restaurant when the first bird caught my attention months ago. but that coupled with the clouds was just a little - i don't know - serendipitous i guess. *shuts up before thinks of current events. well. i guess being born in england because my dad was Not in vietnam has always influenced me too.

this! poem however (yes i'm getting there :D)...at one point (no i haven't played in Years) i saw myself as a piano, and another time madly pounding the keys. i was in a sort of state when i wrote it...

didn't know i could write dark crap, didja? :p

[Jay]

HEY YOU. Dark doesn't mean crap! *tuts* ;)
And no, didn't THINK you'd write dark stuff. Do you have more? ;) :angel:

[amuse]

well i felt a little maudlin tonight...so yes.

and thank you, Jester.

[Avalive]

It's a quite good poem,Imagine readin it while someone playing piano...
I can hardly write a decent love poem, honestly, no matter how sad I feel or how happy I used to be..

[rocksea]

hehe, i have started loving ur poems. it has that zest of life and love!!
pretty expressive!!
like jester, i don't feel the cut in lines disturbing. it just brings its own rhythm.

[Helga]

Amazing, I always cry when I read your poems.
If I had half your talent I would be happy.

In my opinion you are the best poet on this website.

[Avalive]

I agree,
Amuse is the best poet here

[BSturdy]

I really enjoyed that too, thanks. It captures the atmosphere of someone driven insane by love - or by an insane lover!

[amuse]

i'm glad you all liked it. thanks. mm, it was a little crazed wasn't it?

hey, i just thought of something - a weird as it would be to look into a madman's/woman's eyes, i wonder if it's perfectly normal for them in the mirror? kinda think maybe yes...(but don't know, am not trying to find out! :D)

[Helga]

reading it again it gets more and more powerful