2:15 Am

[symphony]

Warning: Needless rants.

...in a letter to Raisa


Poetry is failing me.
And yet I can take up the pen
and write words, lines,
and they might even mean something—
like those digitless clocks,
hands pointing at reserved voids,
they’ll tell you the time anyway.
Time is too obvious.
These lines are, too.
With sudden spells of abstractness.
With ecstasies of imperfections.


Forgive my pen. It loves jumbled words so.
Never waits for thoughts to make a line.
And freedom and effortlessness
both are addictive.


The night is perfect too.
Perfect like the simplicity
of a truth. Perfect and true.
Perfect for singing
of wind and water.
Perfect for dancing
like wind and water.


The few free minutes will soon flow by.
This luxury of sitting here writing
will leave another lament.
The moon will soon be
turning into a sun, and
the careless freedom of this pen
won’t be stopping it.
But this page, above all, feels so right…


Even the me staring back at me,
the face in that dark window pane, knows-
the night is another failure,
another wonderful failure,
I can feel the joy of it,
at this very second this hand,
this pen and this paper can feel it,
the cold bones right under my skin
can feel it…

[TheFifthElement]

This is great Symphony, one to read again at a more leisurely pace but first impressions are, well, I'm very impressed! I can relate to the sentiment, yet despite your 'rant' warning it doesn't feel bitter, just kind of resigned.

[symphony]

Oh and i thought i'd add that this was actually a part of a letter written last night to one of my best friends. Havent had a chance to give it to her yet though.

Thanks for reading fifth. :P

[PrinceMyshkin]

Man (so to speak)! this is good! Especially:


[COLOR="Red"]like those digitless clocks,
hands pointing at reserved voids,
they’ll tell you the time anyway.


Forgive my pen. It loves jumbled words so.
Never waits for thoughts to make a line.

But I didn't understand these lines, at least not literally:


The moon will soon be
turning into a sun,

And I very much like these as well:


I can feel the joy of it,
at this very second this hand,
this pen and this paper can feel it,
the cold bones right under my skin
can feel it…

[symphony]

But I didn't understand these lines, at least not literally:

Note that it was written at night (as has become usual, almost habitual, with me!). Often i stay up late with the grand ambition of studying all night... but often i end up writing long boring letters to friends instead, and almost always its morning when i 'surface'. Its as simple as that. :)
Thanks Prince. For reading. For liking.

*runs to organic chemistry* i dont think i can afford another wonderful night!

[Virgil]

Add me as an admirer. Very nice Symph. I liked this stanza above all:


The few free minutes will soon flow by.
This luxury of sitting here writing
will leave another lament.
The moon will soon be
turning into a sun, and
the careless freedom of this pen
won’t be stopping it.
But this page, above all, feels so right…

[V.Jayalakshmi]

Dear Symphony,

I liked the portion where you write

"The night is perfect too.
Perfect like the simplicity
of a truth. Perfect and true.
Perfect for singing
of wind and water.
Perfect for dancing
like wind and water.".....
though I felt the 'wind and water' image could have been used only once.A humble observation which I hope does not however diminish the written lines,perhaps when sleep was not over the poetess in you still awake.

[symphony]

Add me as an admirer.
Added.




though I felt the 'wind and water' image could have been used only once.A humble observation which I hope does not however diminish the written lines,perhaps when sleep was not over the poetess in you still awake.
I felt that twice, i wrote that twice.
Thanks for reading.

*Bows to the 2 Vs and says she appreciates their reading her "poetry" *

[blp]

I relate to this and love the sense of it just kind of tumbling out. But it is one where I think you could spruce it up without losing the spontaneity. Like, just for the sake of argument, you could get rid of those poetry words like 'etched' and 'lament'. Cue hail of pebbles, rotten fruit etc.

[Pensive]

Very well-written, symphony. I like the comparison of poetry and time! Similarity noticed very cleverly indeed.

[Pendragon]

I predict, Sy, that if your friends receive such tresures in the post, your letters do not end up being tossed away lightly, but saved to be read again and again and that one day, Letters From Symphony might be the name of a volume of poetry! :)

[symphony]

I relate to this and love the sense of it just kind of tumbling out. But it is one where I think you could spruce it up without losing the spontaneity. Like, just for the sake of argument, you could get rid of those poetry words like 'etched' and 'lament'. Cue hail of pebbles, rotten fruit etc.
Right. The word "etched" was itching me too. So i decided to remove it. And as for "lament", i would change it if i found a similar word that'll say what i want to say. The poem now sounds cooler to me without "etched", so i dont think i'll bother making any more changes with the rest.
Thanks blp.


Very well-written, symphony. I like the comparison of poetry and time! Similarity noticed very cleverly indeed.
Thanks Pensy. :)


I predict, Sy, that if your friends receive such tresures in the post, your letters do not end up being tossed away lightly, but saved to be read again and again and that one day, Letters From Symphony might be the name of a volume of poetry! :)
:D