Pendragon
03-13-2008, 01:40 PM
E-mergency: Probably Should Be Prose
I really feel quite fine, I can’t imagine why they say,
Mr. Harris, your blood work says you have something very bad.
I argue with the Doctor, but you can figure out who’s going to win—
Feeling fine never was a reason sound enough for Medical advice.
So, the Nurse is looking at me like she can’t believe her eyes—
“Are you the guy whose creatinine level is at 7.0? They don’t usually walk in happy!”
“That’s what they tell me. Weird enough, isn’t it?”
She has an injection for me, some high-powered blood booster which I disremember.
On to the lab, and more shocked nurses, eight tubes of blood and a urine sample.
Now to Radiology for a sonogram of my kidneys and bladder.
Histrionic double take by the sonogram technician. “You’re Mr. Harris?”
I am the only person in the waiting room. I’m tempted to pull my Bugs Bunny—
“You were expecting maybe Humphrey Bogart?”—
But I refrain. “That’s me.” Cheerful grin. (Come to think of it, with my fedora on…naw!)
“Can you get up on the table?”
I could turn handsprings over it, lady! I don’t feel the least sick! I’m fine!
We joke about finding a baby inside me instead of kidneys. She can’t believe I’m laughing and joking.
She says they look fine to her but she doesn’t read the sonograms, of course.
So—Paging Doctor House! Medical Mystery!
Why does an otherwise healthy man (whose kidneys function very well)
Suddenly start having abnormal readings on tests having to do with them?
Pendragon :sick:
I really feel quite fine, I can’t imagine why they say,
Mr. Harris, your blood work says you have something very bad.
I argue with the Doctor, but you can figure out who’s going to win—
Feeling fine never was a reason sound enough for Medical advice.
So, the Nurse is looking at me like she can’t believe her eyes—
“Are you the guy whose creatinine level is at 7.0? They don’t usually walk in happy!”
“That’s what they tell me. Weird enough, isn’t it?”
She has an injection for me, some high-powered blood booster which I disremember.
On to the lab, and more shocked nurses, eight tubes of blood and a urine sample.
Now to Radiology for a sonogram of my kidneys and bladder.
Histrionic double take by the sonogram technician. “You’re Mr. Harris?”
I am the only person in the waiting room. I’m tempted to pull my Bugs Bunny—
“You were expecting maybe Humphrey Bogart?”—
But I refrain. “That’s me.” Cheerful grin. (Come to think of it, with my fedora on…naw!)
“Can you get up on the table?”
I could turn handsprings over it, lady! I don’t feel the least sick! I’m fine!
We joke about finding a baby inside me instead of kidneys. She can’t believe I’m laughing and joking.
She says they look fine to her but she doesn’t read the sonograms, of course.
So—Paging Doctor House! Medical Mystery!
Why does an otherwise healthy man (whose kidneys function very well)
Suddenly start having abnormal readings on tests having to do with them?
Pendragon :sick: