Mind Killer

[staticstix]

First is the onset of stomach pains
Sweat begins to drip from all pores
A body burn takes over completely
Discomfort to hard to ignore

A panic takes over the concious
Clothes more constrictive than ever
Skin so foreign on the body
Splash of cold water can't better

Into fresh air to find comfort
A mind slowly slipping away
Nothing can ease the anxiety
Nothing can make it okay

A pill to control all emotions
The doctor to make it all right
Outside it all seems so normal
But the mind killer still lurks inside

[lucidnightmares]

wow, i loved that one.
the tittle drew me in, and the poem cut my skin and crawled within.
haha i guess what i`m trying to say is that i really liked it, i can find nothing wrong with it.
this is the kind of poetry i live for:thumbs_up
insanity has always been an interesting topic for me, and this thrusts me back into the preoccupation of old thoughts
a welcome burden.
thanks for this great piece.

[ShadowFire]

I agree with lucidnightmares....very nice poem. I can picture it in my mind...which means it has good imagery. I like how you say "a body burn takes over completely" and then you revist the temperature factor by saying "Splash of cold water can't better"...and further the revisit states how there is a lost of hope...the hope of maybe water helpng...gone. I liked this poem very much. Good work.

[staticstix]

WOW, Thanks so very much for the nice coments. They're really appreciated. I used to write short stotries when I was younger so this poetry thing is a bit more difficult for me. This is actually the second poem I have ever really worked on. You coments will push me to to work harder in the future on my poetry.


Sincerely