Not What It Seems

[Pendragon]

Not What It Seems

Brass capped with lead,
Not all that big—
In the Old West they call it a “Shot”—
The price of a drink of rotgut—
If a cowboy was low on silver coin…
Brass capped with lead.
I hold it in my fingers,
Twist it to catch the fading light.
I set it down for the moment on the rocks,
So I can have my own shot—
Bourbon and soda.
I don’t need the liquid courage,
I just haven’t had Southern Comfort & Dr. Pepper for a spell.
Some men ask for a last meal.
Some want a last cigarette.
I want a bourbon and soda, mixed to my own taste.
Brass capped with lead.
They call it a “shot”.
Today, it is the price of a man’s life.
I slide the brass tube into its slot, and c--k the hammer.
Time to say farewell to everything I know.
The lead makes an awful mess out of its target.
Melons explode violently.
I remove the hot brass tube and turn it to catch the light.
Brass, no longer capped by lead.
I wasn’t worth the price of a shot…

Pendragon
© 3/7/08

[Ace]

I'm not good at reviewing stories or poetry (which is why I usually don't respond to them) but I really enjoyed this one and I needed to comment on it.

Thanks for sharing it!

[Pendragon]

Thank you, glad you enjoyed it. Many will not be able to seperate the grim humor from the rest.

[symphony]

I found myself stumbling on the sudden change of 'brass' to 'bass', and was wondering if its a typo.... well, is it?
If not, i should definitely have to give it another read. And lord knows how scared a title like that (not what it seems!) can make me feel! U do know i'm always afraid of not really getting the poem, dont u? :p

[jon1jt]

Pen, now this is good stuff!!!!



I don’t need the liquid courage,
I just haven’t had Southern Comfort & Dr. Pepper for a spell.
Some men ask for a last meal.
Some want a last cigarette.
I want a bourbon and soda, mixed to my own taste.
Bass capped with lead.


I can on quoting, but I'd rather just tell you this one's kicking *** and leave it there. Way to go pen.

[AuntShecky]

I actually liked the switch of "brass" to "bass," and admire
writers who attempt both word play and sonics.

This verse is very entertaining, but
Southern comfort and Dr. Pepper? !
You know, way way back in the day when libations actually interested yours truly, a bartender once told me that whenever a young lady ordered an especially sweet or syrupy drink -- such as the stomach-turning concoction known as the "sloe gin fizz" -- that's when he knew that he'd better "card" her!

[Pendragon]

Sorry, it was a typo! (fummble-fingers here does play bass though!) And Auntie, that tells you how long it's been since yours truly had a libation, as you say. I'm 47. Ordained as a Minister in 1982. Do the math. Still this Illness gets me once in a while. Lost my Mommie yesterday, dear soul. I'll miss her. Part of the reason I was so down I guess.

I wanted the brass to be the focal point. Always the brass, moving from place to place. If I acheived that, I made my poem.

[motherhubbard]

Pen, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I'll keep you in my prayers- and your family.

http://www.trugs.co.uk/images/flowers_sympathy.jpg

[Pendragon]

Pen, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I'll keep you in my prayers- and your family.

http://www.trugs.co.uk/images/flowers_sympathy.jpgI'm sorry, Tonya, but Mom is alive and well. This lady was my mommie, my second mom. I should have been more clear. My mother was with her when she passed, they were like sisters and both families called the other Mom, Mommie. We were that close for 40 years or so. I couldn't be there through her illness, her sons hate my guts over a problem that she forgave me for years ago. I talked to her on the phone last week. Last thing she said was, "I love you, Dale." It hurts. I plan to send a framed poem to the funeral home. I probably wouldn't be welcome and I won't cause trouble. But she always was Mommie to me...

[motherhubbard]

now I'm sorry for your double loss, but glad your own mother is well.

[Pendragon]

One hint on the "grim humor". Remember who's writing and what's really wrong with him, then think logically about it... :)

[Pendragon]

The grim humor of "Not What It Seems" is this:

The man has you thinking he intends to shoot himself.
He shoots a melon.

Yet he goes through the whole ceremony of the "last drink", and tells you that's what he'd take if executed.

He speaks of how a bullet, a "shot" was the price of that drink in the old West.

[Historically speaking, that's true, and it's why they call it a "shot glass", which is my private joke on everyone!]

He keeps you focused on that brass shot to the end, and then tells you he wouldn't kill himself over a "shot of bourbon and soda". His life ain't worth it.

So he had brought a melon to shoot instead, having to release the tension.

Explained.

By the way, I don't drink. Haven't for a very long time. But for me, with my medications, one shot would be as deadly as the other. You cannot drink on my medications without inviting the Grim Reaper. That also, is some of my grim humor...

I didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea, and I wanted you to read this...

Pendragon