View Full Version : Cynthia's Grandma
Little Cynthia lost her grandma
She was old yet very wise
I know that she must feel sad
But know that grandma was glad
Of her grand-daughter she was proud
And Cynthia always has her memories
But Cynthia was not sad
She was only very proud
Because her grandma was glad
Cynthia would find more memories
But she would keep the ones with grandma
And would grow like her to be wise
Twenty years from now, she thinks of memories
And the ones of her grandma make her sad
But she remembers how she felt proud
And of that she feels glad
It is what she would want, her grandma
Cynthia is already wise
Cynthia's mother has joined her grandma
And she grieves and feels horribly sad
There is no reason to be glad
And no reason to feel proud
Because her mother left no memories
And Cynthia cares not to be wise
But soon she is no longer sad
Though she still is not proud
And certainly not glad
Yet she has re-become wise
And remembers her grandma
But misses her mom and lack of memories
Now Cynthia's children are growing wise
And she certainly is very proud
To see them grow so fast is sad
But that they grew up safely she is glad
She raised them as she was raised by grandma
And tried to fill their minds with memories
Cynthia never forgot her grandma
And forever wept over her lack of motherly memories
But until she died, she lived well and wise
Pensive
03-06-2008, 06:36 AM
Little Cynthia lost her grandma
She was old yet very wise
I know that she must feel sad
But know that grandma was glad
Of her grand-daughter she was proud
And Cynthia always has her memories
But Cynthia was not sad
She was only very proud
Because her grandma was glad
Cynthia would find more memories
But she would keep the ones with grandma
And would grow like her to be wise
Twenty years from now, she thinks of memories
And the ones of her grandma make her sad
But she remembers how she felt proud
And of that she feels glad
It is what she would want, her grandma
Cynthia is already wise
Cynthia's mother has joined her grandma
And she grieves and feels horribly sad
There is no reason to be glad
And no reason to feel proud
Because her mother left no memories
And Cynthia cares not to be wise
But soon she is no longer sad
Though she still is not proud
And certainly not glad
Yet she has re-become wise
And remembers her grandma
But misses her mom and lack of memories
Now Cynthia's children are growing wise
And she certainly is very proud
To see them grow so fast is sad
But that they grew up safely she is glad
She raised them as she was raised by grandma
And tried to fill their minds with memories
Cynthia never forgot her grandma
And forever wept over her lack of motherly memories
But until she died, she lived well and wise
It's good. The place where the narrator says that Cynthia (cool name, BTW) has nothing to be proud of as there were little memories she shared with her mother really had an emotional impact on me.
PrinceMyshkin
03-06-2008, 07:25 AM
This is moving but as I wrote above about "Thanatos-Carnal," wouldn't it have been just as good or better if it had been set out as prose? A prose-poem, perhaps.
This is moving but as I wrote above about "Thanatos-Carnal," wouldn't it have been just as good or better if it had been set out as prose? A prose-poem, perhaps.
I suppose it wouldn't be bad in prose-form, but I really like the structure of the sestina.
Also, wouldn't a prose form with all those repeating words seem kind of odd? Usually when I write I try not to use the same word repeatedly, not the opposite. But a cool idea, thanks
Also, thank you, I'm glad it worked for you Pensive.
Pendragon
03-06-2008, 12:33 PM
This isn't structured in true sestina form:
End words should go thus:
Stanzas:
1 2 3 4 5 6
A F C E D B
B A F C E D
C E D B A F
D B A F C E
E D B A F C
F C E D B A
No fixed pattern for the envoi, usually two words to a line, one near the middle, the other at the end.
But see, the word that ends the first stanza begins the next, making a repeating sing-song that becomes the core of such poems. Your poem is very nice, but not a true sestina. I would call it a "variation on the form" which is marvelous. A sestina also must wind around until it ends on the same word with which it began. I have several in my blog, and I know Petrach's Love writes sestinas. Like the Villanelle, which is our Form Contest Poem this round, they can be wild to write. Best of Luck!
Pendragon
I know it's not a true sestina, that's why I said structure of the sestina. I'm no near good enough to complete a true sestina (though I came close with one that I posted a while ago that no one responded to...).
Thanks for the order and structure, I will most likely refer back to it as I sometimes get confused with the order of a true sestina. Most websites are very confusing with that, you made it very simple.
Pendragon
03-06-2008, 01:04 PM
I know it's not a true sestina, that's why I said structure of the sestina. I'm no near good enough to complete a true sestina (though I came close with one that I posted a while ago that no one responded to...).
Thanks for the order and structure, I will most likely refer back to it as I sometimes get confused with the order of a true sestina. Most websites are very confusing with that, you made it very simple.Thank you. I have a book to which I refer, called Creating Poetry, published by Writers Digest Books. If you could ever find a copy in a used book store, it would be well worth your money. I agree about the websites.
This book lines out almost every type of form poetry, and I have had large success with it, as I have had difficult poems published. As I say, good luck, and if no one has said so, welcome to Litnet!
There are two contests on the Poetry Games and Contests still open until the 17th. Feel free to enter!
Pen
kiz_paws
03-07-2008, 12:21 PM
Ace, this poem is lovely.
I am certainly not one to say what format is what, all I know is that the poem hit a chord with me and I wanted to say that you did a great job of telling the story. As well, I offer my welcome to LitNet and hope to read more of your work. :)
K♥z
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