bonstermonster3
03-05-2008, 09:13 AM
Here are a couple more of my poems.
Just Run
Looming over him, you stopped when he said your name
Maybe in that moment he magnified your shame
You stared at him while he was shaking and stunned
He waited for his turn at the end of your gun
Then came your unlikely words: "Just run."
While this does not erase the evil you had done
It has always made me wonder
How your goodness got swamped in the thunder
Of the violence in which you partook
In the final hour of your life, all those lives you shook
And the souls your actions have wounded
With good reason, your bad decisions left many astounded
At your anger, your violence
But I feel residing in your heart was also kindness
Lost in the muck of the vengeance after which you lusted
You certainly chose to confide in someone who couldn't be trusted
I know they threw things at you, I know they called you a clown
I've cried similar tears, I've worn the same frown
You were so young; why didn't you run????
Why?
You had so many questions unanswered in your short life
But there are so many you've left unanswered behind
You haunt many hearts, and your shadow also falls on mine
And it doesn't seem to fade over time
For you I feel no inappropriate lust
Nor do I think of you with disgust
But with sorrow, sympathy and understanding
And a wonder of where your soul made its final landing
When I think of this, I hear not a thing
I see only a vision of you standing alone looking above
What did you hope to find? Love?
That is what you claimed many times
What does God do with your kind?
But how can I know of which type you were
I don't, but I do still care
So much you wrote of yearning for acceptance, love and things not shallow
How did you come to settle for the ending of a coward?
You are hard for anyone to label
Though of doing that honestly and properly humans are completely incapable
All I know is your shy smile and your awkward movements
Stay sitting in a tender corner of my heart, leaving not a negative imprint
I hope what you were feeling before you pulled that trigger the final time
Was for God to have mercy, for Him to remember the times you were kind
I have no clue, I did not know you
But I read what you had to say
I've studied your masking smile, even your solemn gaze
I've felt the bond with you over many things I felt and believed when I was just a kid
I, too, from God and everyone else hid
Maybe that is why I am left haunted by you more than your final day's actions
I have chosen to look past the gory attraction
I hope your goodness still glimmered in you when God brought you before Himself
And that He found a better use for you than as another eternally tortured soul in hell
"I'm sorry we failed you. May God have mercy on your soul." "Jesus will forgive."
These words were scrawled on your memorial cross
Because you are still considered a loss
God gave you your life as a gift
Just as for the world He gave his
I'd just like to know
Whatever happened to you saying: "Revenge is sorrow"
You hit the nail on the head
When on that morning, in a video, you said:
"Mom, it's judgment day..."
What a shame you threw yourself away
Bring With You Everything
I always turn and glance at you lying in peace
When I am restlessly chasing sleep
It is soothing to my soul
Just as when a smile lays claim to your face
Or when your warm arms wrap around me and my heart begins to race
For you I feel the most tender fondness
A burning to unearth all that you are, to comfort you with a most loving caress
Though I am sure some of this knowledge will bring me pain
Your complete trust and confidance I pray to gain
I would carry all your burdens
But I know every man must experience hurting
My purpose is to be there for you unconditionally
And support you in all things, stand beside you faithfully
To bare your children and to build you up
To sustain you, fill and overrrun your cup
To never do you evil and to grow with you in God
Always staying together, let's be careful where we trod
Some things will come with ease, at times life will be tough
But for you I will always have an endless supply of understanding and love
In me you have a safehaven
A place in my soul that I have been saving
Just in case I ever found a man
Who had a strong and steady hand
You are the most special gift I could have ever hoped for
And it is only your precious face I adore
I know it will be hard for you to walk a straight line
In a world full of sin, temptation and lies
But I hope that sometime you will come to realize
Just how much you mean to me, and how nothing you should hide
Please don't let anything pull you into a den of sin
How sorrowful that would be, for I've seen what is within
Your sweet soul that was worth salvation
You are most defintely one of His best creations
Remember my words of love when you are in a dark place
Even if you'll hurt me, I'll be there, love endures even if it can't have its way
Safely you can trust me with everything
So please when you come to me, every secret with you bring
For Bill
Just Run
Looming over him, you stopped when he said your name
Maybe in that moment he magnified your shame
You stared at him while he was shaking and stunned
He waited for his turn at the end of your gun
Then came your unlikely words: "Just run."
While this does not erase the evil you had done
It has always made me wonder
How your goodness got swamped in the thunder
Of the violence in which you partook
In the final hour of your life, all those lives you shook
And the souls your actions have wounded
With good reason, your bad decisions left many astounded
At your anger, your violence
But I feel residing in your heart was also kindness
Lost in the muck of the vengeance after which you lusted
You certainly chose to confide in someone who couldn't be trusted
I know they threw things at you, I know they called you a clown
I've cried similar tears, I've worn the same frown
You were so young; why didn't you run????
Why?
You had so many questions unanswered in your short life
But there are so many you've left unanswered behind
You haunt many hearts, and your shadow also falls on mine
And it doesn't seem to fade over time
For you I feel no inappropriate lust
Nor do I think of you with disgust
But with sorrow, sympathy and understanding
And a wonder of where your soul made its final landing
When I think of this, I hear not a thing
I see only a vision of you standing alone looking above
What did you hope to find? Love?
That is what you claimed many times
What does God do with your kind?
But how can I know of which type you were
I don't, but I do still care
So much you wrote of yearning for acceptance, love and things not shallow
How did you come to settle for the ending of a coward?
You are hard for anyone to label
Though of doing that honestly and properly humans are completely incapable
All I know is your shy smile and your awkward movements
Stay sitting in a tender corner of my heart, leaving not a negative imprint
I hope what you were feeling before you pulled that trigger the final time
Was for God to have mercy, for Him to remember the times you were kind
I have no clue, I did not know you
But I read what you had to say
I've studied your masking smile, even your solemn gaze
I've felt the bond with you over many things I felt and believed when I was just a kid
I, too, from God and everyone else hid
Maybe that is why I am left haunted by you more than your final day's actions
I have chosen to look past the gory attraction
I hope your goodness still glimmered in you when God brought you before Himself
And that He found a better use for you than as another eternally tortured soul in hell
"I'm sorry we failed you. May God have mercy on your soul." "Jesus will forgive."
These words were scrawled on your memorial cross
Because you are still considered a loss
God gave you your life as a gift
Just as for the world He gave his
I'd just like to know
Whatever happened to you saying: "Revenge is sorrow"
You hit the nail on the head
When on that morning, in a video, you said:
"Mom, it's judgment day..."
What a shame you threw yourself away
Bring With You Everything
I always turn and glance at you lying in peace
When I am restlessly chasing sleep
It is soothing to my soul
Just as when a smile lays claim to your face
Or when your warm arms wrap around me and my heart begins to race
For you I feel the most tender fondness
A burning to unearth all that you are, to comfort you with a most loving caress
Though I am sure some of this knowledge will bring me pain
Your complete trust and confidance I pray to gain
I would carry all your burdens
But I know every man must experience hurting
My purpose is to be there for you unconditionally
And support you in all things, stand beside you faithfully
To bare your children and to build you up
To sustain you, fill and overrrun your cup
To never do you evil and to grow with you in God
Always staying together, let's be careful where we trod
Some things will come with ease, at times life will be tough
But for you I will always have an endless supply of understanding and love
In me you have a safehaven
A place in my soul that I have been saving
Just in case I ever found a man
Who had a strong and steady hand
You are the most special gift I could have ever hoped for
And it is only your precious face I adore
I know it will be hard for you to walk a straight line
In a world full of sin, temptation and lies
But I hope that sometime you will come to realize
Just how much you mean to me, and how nothing you should hide
Please don't let anything pull you into a den of sin
How sorrowful that would be, for I've seen what is within
Your sweet soul that was worth salvation
You are most defintely one of His best creations
Remember my words of love when you are in a dark place
Even if you'll hurt me, I'll be there, love endures even if it can't have its way
Safely you can trust me with everything
So please when you come to me, every secret with you bring
For Bill