Cut Scene (11/24/07 1:57 AM)

[sparr0w]

***Okay, long story short, I was in a very strange mindset when I wrote this. I will forewarn you that this is one of my "stream of consciousness" prose. Most of you probably won't like this. I mostly posted it out of curiosity. Let me know what you think.
Peace- Chris (sparr0w)

Cut Scene (11/24/07 1:57 AM)


God, I feel... strange...
icky...
No, I can't play that song right now. It'll mess me all up. Not that song. Not now.
Does the air feel sticky to you? Sticky and cold?
I'll drink some gin. Mix it with orange juice.
Yeah, thats a little better.
It feels like I'm coming off a bad trip or something.
But I'm not.
I've been sober for most of the day.
Havent even shot dope today.
Maybee that has something to do with it.
Man, it's cold in here.
Not cold, like cold, but cold like uncomfortable.
Sticky and uncomfortable.
Man, I've been sober all day. pretty much anyways.
This movie... a retrarded girl smelling a ten year old boys wrist. Strange. Icky.
He taps her nose. She smiles. She loves him. Ohio. Speed.
I can't do speed anymore. I went insaine last time.
I worked for UPS. Spent every last cent on a month and a half long meth binge.
That was interesting.
the last time, after four days, maybee five, it fealt like my brain was bleeding.
I forgot how to talk for the next 24 hours while I came down.
This movie's ****ed up. Kids killing cats.
Back to the moment.
Does this all seem random to you?
I feel like I'm coming off a bad trip, but like I said, I've been sober most of the day.
Gin and orange juice and coffee, this morning. Nothing since. That was twelve hours ago, I think.
Im thinking about staying up and seeing where this wave takes me.
Is this a flashback? I've tripped a dosen times andI don't think ive ever had a flashback.
This can't be a flashback, tripping was always much better than this.
Except for this one time with Vinnie.
I made mushroom tea, mixed with crystal lite.
Made two cups with two grams each, primo boomers.
I told him to drink it slowly.
The stomach doesnt like it. It tastes allright, but the stomach doesnt like it.
He took it in one gulp.
He always had to play King s*it Leadbelly.
I sipped mine slowly as he puked his up behind the corner. Back around the neighbors garage.
We were watching the Nightmare Before Christmas when mine kicked in.
His never kicked in because he puked it up. That pissed him off. I think he was jealous.
He got even though.
We went to "Dinos Den" and he lectured me about my lifestyle.
He dropped me off and i had a bad trip alone in the dark in my room thinking about his lecture.
I think I cried.
God this movie is f**ked.
Good poets aren't supposed to say things like "f**ked".
To hell with that, Bukowski was worse than me.
I need more gin. Dimitri, cheap s**t. Cut it with Tropicana.
It's f****ng itchy in here. Strange fuc*ing film.
No one can find this for a long time, at least. I'll get kicked out again.
11/24/07 1:57 AM
CUT SCENE

[lucidnightmares]

i prefer your other poems to this, mainly because this one scared me a little, don`t really know why, just does.
however it feels real, and that`s something i enjoy, reminds me of Elliott smith, maybe because it`s what i`m listening to at the moment, maybe not.
however i`m sure we can all relate to this, having thoughts we think shouldn`t with a straight mind. that`s the scary thing about it, we can`t control our selfs in the moment.....

"God this movie is f**ked.
Good poets aren't supposed to say things like "f**ked"."

i don`t know much about this topic in general but i did enjoy reading it.
the only problem i have with it is that it seems to raw, thought after thought flying out of your mind without regard, but i guess that`s what makes this poem interesting.
if i finish this by saying one thing i don`t think i`d be able to, the more i read this the more my mind starts to tick, it`s interesting in it`s own little way, drawing me in like some sort of mystery.
it`s not what i normally like about your poems, but`s it become increasingly attractive with time. it`s really hard for me to put into words for me.

OK now to finally put this to a close, i enjoy your other works more, but i would like to see more of this type, just to see where it goes.
i don`t quite understand it and probably never will, but to me that`s where the beauty is in this.

[sparr0w]

Yeah, to be honest, I don't like this one too much because it takes me back to a strange place... Like I said, I had been up for days, and was completely out of my mind. The main reason I posted it was because I just stumbled across it again this evening, and to be honest, I think its interesting. Definitely nothing I would post in a book, but if it felt "scary", to you, then my mission was successful. We can't go around feeling "good" all the time. when i read back over this, I think "sticky". "sweaty, greasy, sticky". Heck, bad emotions are often much more intense than good ones. This was an experiment, and though like I said i would never publish this one, I thought it was interesting.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Let me tell you first what I think this is NOT: It's not maudlin, self-indulgent or posturing, as it could so easily have been. Nor is it, as lucid though, too raw. Maybe, in fact, it could have been more raw. We're long past the stage where we might or should cringe from the use of f*ck in a poem or the references to binging on booze or drugs...

Don't waste your time worrying whether it's a "poem," "prose-poem" or any other definition. It is what it is, and my feeling is that it does a good job of doing/being that. Personally, I wouldn't do many more things in the same style as it could easily come to seem mannered.

[sparr0w]

Thanks, Prince. Like I said to lucid, I would probably never publish this one. I have easily over a hundred in this style, and one or two are worth using, but mostly I use this medium to "warm up" my mind for better writing. Almost every one like this I write is followed by a much better and more well structured poem. I mostly posted this out of curiosity of how people would react to it. I must say, I was nicely surprised. I tell you, everything in this one is true. I never lie in my writing. I know this one may leave one with an "icky" feeling, but as I have said to Lucid, the goal of a poem is to illicit emotion, and in most cases (save for the most extreme), feelings of disgust, or of being uncomfortable, are the most intense as well as the hardest to inflict. Thanks again for your feedback, I always love it. Peace!