Emancipation

[dibyendra]

Inevitable melancholies,
pile one after another in the mind,
make severe adrenalin rush inside - volcanically,
thrust the flimsy veins,
and agitate the silent pain.

Bewildered mind, encircled by the eerie feelings,
it's entangled into the spider web,
like a helpless prey,
now fearlessly waiting for an angel of death to devour.

Come, angel of death, come.
Come, angel of mercy, come.
Please, take this soul into your arm.

Emancipate this soul from these sheer afflictions,
rescue from this burning lake of fire,
and shelter this soul to that place
where none of the worldly pain can touch.


- Dibyendra Hyoju
March 3, 2008

[dibyendra]

Any suggestions, comments, and critiques are welcome!

Thank you.
Regards,
Dibyendra

[ReynardKitsune]

Emancipation i don't understand this work. care to explain to me please?

and also i think u spelled adrenaline wrongly correct me if i am wrong

i think average this poem was great that it was clear and had use of some meaningful words depicting a picture of a painful and sorrowful suffering by a person. i apologise but i dun really get the first part

Inevitable melancholies,
pile one after another
making an adrenalin rush inside,
thrust the loose veins,
agitate the silent pain.

[dibyendra]

Emancipation i don't understand this work. care to explain to me please?

and also i think u spelled adrenaline wrongly correct me if i am wrong

i think average this poem was great that it was clear and had use of some meaningful words depicting a picture of a painful and sorrowful suffering by a person. i apologise but i dun really get the first part

Inevitable melancholies,
pile one after another
making an adrenalin rush inside,
thrust the loose veins,
agitate the silent pain.

Thank you Reyenard for your view and pinpointing the error. Yes, it should be 'adrenaline'. An regarding your query on first stanza, I was just trying to express this worldly pain which are quite inevitable and how they affects mind and body. I've updated the first stanza with some few modifications. I guess that makes clear now. Thanks again Reyenard for your opinion.

[dibyendra]

I hope this title and poem make sense now. Some slight modifications have been done to most of the parts and it would be great if I get your feedback about this poem.

Thank you.
Dibyendra

[ReynardKitsune]

yes i understand it much more now. sorry i wasn't trying to be rude just expressing my thought i think your voice is good and powerful! your choice of words i also great i admire your works lol. it will take me a long long time to reach your standards thank you for being kind and friendly and help me answer my doubts look forward to more of your works

[kiz_paws]

Your poem expresses well a tortured soul. I enjoyed reading how you put it all together, your words made me feel this torture. I think it was well done. :)

[dibyendra]

yes i understand it much more now. sorry i wasn't trying to be rude just expressing my thought i think your voice is good and powerful! your choice of words i also great i admire your works lol. it will take me a long long time to reach your standards thank you for being kind and friendly and help me answer my doubts look forward to more of your works
Reynard, thank you for admiring my effort. You are too kind for me. I'm learning by doing and keep on trying Reynard, my wishes are with you, you'll definitely succeed. Thanks for you comment. :)


Your poem expresses well a tortured soul. I enjoyed reading how you put it all together, your words made me feel this torture. I think it was well done. :)

Thank you Kiz for your comment. I'm glad that this one also made you feel the way I wanted the reader to feel. Thank you very much for appreciating my effort Kiz. :)