Our little secret.

[GildedWeb]

Blood spattered pattern
of excruiating hate
Carterization of the rape
of an innocents nation

Now the Gestation
Love/Hate of Creation

See the glass doors
See the tiled floors
The steril smell from hell

no one will know
Do it quick
Before you get sick
Before it will show

Our little secret

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Id like to point out that not everyone can write about flowers and other shiney happy things...Im just a mirror.

[Pendragon]

Tough, brutal poem, but as you say, not everyone can write about flowers...

The only criticism I will give is you misspelled "sterile". The rest is fine for the type of poetry you write, which I will get used to. After all, it's not all that different from some of the suicide poems I've written, just formulated along other lines and the images given "in situ" instead of cleaned up a bit, therefore more honest... Well done!

http://smilies.vidahost.com/games/dbz/dragonball-wishdragon.gif

[GildedWeb]

Im the worst speller ever! Thank god for spell checker..I shoulda used it lol Thanks for the compliments, compairison to your own works is a big thing.

[Pendragon]

The Line Went Dead (Posted for GildedWeb)

BRIIING!
Hello? Yeah? You?
I just called because you have always been—
sarcasm
one of my closest friends—
one that I could depend upon—
heavy sarcasm
in almost any situation—
one who was always there to listen—
deepening sarcasm
no matter what the hour or the trouble might be…
So—
Came a BANG and a THUD—
and the line went dead…

DL Harris
© 8/15/96

As you see by the date, this was some time ago, and yeah, I was really feeling the poem badly…

Pen

[dibyendra]

Blood spattered pattern
of excruiating hate
Carterization of the rape
of an innocents nation

Now the Gestation
Love/Hate of Creation

See the glass doors
See the tiled floors
The steril smell from hell

no one will know
Do it quick
Before you get sick
Before it will show

Our little secret



Strong and there's a raw flavour in it.

GildedWeb, I'd like to rectify few spellings here in order to convey right message to the readers.

excruiating => excruciating?
Carterization => Cauterization?
steril => sterile?

Otherwise, I loved its rawness. :thumbs_up