When the Eclipse Comes

[Markus Whalen]

I am like the Sun, bright and full of life
But yet,at times, I am like an Eclipse, dark and shadowed
And as I walk down this tattered path called life
I will never start to think about when the Eclipse comes

[lucidnightmares]

short and full of purpose and feeling
your`e aware that you have a dark side yet you wish not to get lost or think about it too much, well at least that`s what i get
by the way welcome to the board and have a great time
a great way to break the ice i guess you could say
all in all it`s a good poem, it just seems there could be more to it
other than that i love it:thumbs_up

[Markus Whalen]

Thanks, I have been wanting to join a site like this for awhile and I just started writing again so it seemed like the right thing to do to develop more as a poet.

Oh this poem is really bland your right about that. I wrote it when I was fifteen and I just never wanted to revise it at all. Its a deep memory for me and the things I was going through at the time.

[Markus Whalen]

damn I was thirteen....I got kicked out of school for drugs, my mom was dating my grade level principal, hes my step dad now. Now I just need to have sex with my sister then I will be considered a true poet...haha

[Markus Whalen]

Where were you then Almighty Sayer?
Why is it now you decide to befriend?
I needed you then like my lips now need prayer
But I fell, I caved, I burned into them
My heart was tearing by Angels hands
My eyes believed to see the Devil
You, Sayer, weren't there to give guide and command
So now I am left to Blame and Revel

[ReynardKitsune]

thats awesome!

[Markus Whalen]

thats awesome!

Thanks man..I was going for a contrast to a conscience and maturing after made mistakes

[ReynardKitsune]

i apologise but i duno the meaning of revel it is really a very nice poem seem like the sayer betrayed him and he is left to moan upon it

[Markus Whalen]

Revel is basically to celebrate and be happy

The narrator made a, what he thought at the time, was a mistake.

but realized that not having his conscience actually liberated him and "awoke" him if you will and he realized that it was the best thing that could happen to him

[Markus Whalen]

as far as the "blame" goes, he is understands that it wasnt his fault, it was the other party's

[ReynardKitsune]

wow thanks for enlightening me, i been reading it repeatedly it seems so meaningful

i thought that you have to depend on yourself and not others from this poem

[ReynardKitsune]

this is so cool your poems invoke great meaning and understanding it seems each of them is very meaningful i hope to read more!

[Niamh]

Markus, your threads have been merged. Because this is generally a very busy part of the forum, different rules apply to quanity of threads posted by one user per day. You can find details of Personal Poetry forum rules in link below;
http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=21394
Its good to see more people participating here in this section.
Welcome to the forum.:)