For Eternity

[Captainqt]

First Stanza

Staring too permanently into the sun
When a hand pointed in the right direction
Revealing that Day as Night
A mistaken sense of reality

Searching The Low Road

Wandering in the night
Sich a long while ago
I discovered myself looking upward
Skyward, into the dense fog
It entered my mind with a force
That a thought so cruel might exist
What is there left of beauty?
Of righteousness or of courage?
Simply...of love?
Was there ever such a notion?
There were trees dancing in the wind
But on each of their tops
Only a scream of desperation
A cold chill crept up on my spine
Digging its claws in deeper each step
I took the pain as a debt owed
That perhaps I will never find beauty
I may never receive the gift
Cursed and forsaken from the sharing
Ice covered the ground
And englulfed my heart
Leaving me alone and empty
Deprived of my own true happiness


Second Stanza

At the gates the dogs waited on my blood
Their thirst was insatiable

In Preparation For Hell

I found the tree with its screaming infirmities
And there I decided to bind myself to it
I stretched the chains around my waist and neck
And vowed to deliver myself to hell
Tears fell in streams from my eyes
Truly covering my anger at life and the lot
The ground broke apart, in two pieces
And rising up from the abyss was only a smoke
I could see the darkness that began to ascend
Surrounding the air and all things around me
My vision became narrow
As though I were viewing life through a tiny hole
My insides were turned outward rapidly
A million faces of sadness made lines on all sides
Circles of dead souls and demons were made above
For many moments following I became hypnotized
Drawn in by this new end that I begged for
Out of my lonliness I saw it as truth
Freedom from the bondage of my flesh
Pouring blood into the fire of death
I dozed off into an instant sleep
And awoke in a disturbed state
To find my heart floating before me


Third Stanza

Imprisoned for a lifetime behind that bony cage
For once it wishes its will be done
Thy will be done

The Heart Speaks

You have traveled so far in the wrong direction
Look at me directly and I shall guide you
As your blood flows through me
So His truth floods my workings
Release this shadow from your spirit
And look into the light that shines from within
You are not to understand such complex matters
Only to believe it with an undying faith
Allow yourself to love
Allow your love to breathe
And open your eyes to your own reality
It is not surrounded by terror
Nor is it a nighmare given by the devil
It is a wondrous gift full of mystery
Discovery finds its home in complication
A difficult journey and a difficult decision
Open your eyes and listen to your heart
Lift up your attention
For your spirit desires a word


Fourth Stanza

The beams of light rained down fro mthe heavenly heights
Position to highlight that which is my internal passion
I witnessed an angel delivering the ghost

The Spirit Reflecting The Sun And Moon

And before me appeared a specter
Purple in color except for the center
Where the ansence of my heart shone gray
I looked on in amazement
It began,
Upon this shore of your life or death
I petition you to heed my warning
There comes a time in this temporal life
Where one must show courage
You have become weak and decayed
My color is fading, that was once bright
Now I am merely a reflection of your hate
I wish to mirror your love
But that you have not found
You call it a reason for surrender
Yet for as long as I may, I will postpone
Your time has not come, but will indeed
There is one whose key will fit your lock
You shall empty your heart into the gutter
And she will fill it with her fullness
Together you will become beauty and courage
It has been destined
And now I push you out of this hell
And into a new life


Fifth Stanza

In a sudden reassessment of my situation
I drew a simple conclusion
Man's understanding isfeeble at best

A New Surrender

In my new skin I came to my senses
This all seemed like a dream
But my scars were real
Insides were back in their places
And a revival of a beating heart took on
I stood up on both legs and felt stiff
For once I call a dream a dream
Instead of a realistic nightmare
Yet all which I thought unreal was extreme realness
My flesh tingled with the spirit's final words
What I once saw as a dark moonlit night
Had now made its way 'round to a bright day
The land around me was flourishing with rebirth
And the colors were brilliant
I could see through the good and the bad
I had been renewed in strength and conviction
Although I had known wholeheartedly my imperfection
I had not been reborn an angel
Only a man, bit with a new vision
The cheribum who had placed me on fresh ground
Had implanted the portrait of a wonderful future
Across the distance, what seemed three-thousand miles
I heard her words penetrate my soul


Sixth Stanza

I came to a clearing
A clearing at the end of the path

A Fountain Of Distance

My stare was blank and fixed o na pool of water
It shone of a color unknown to man
And every so often it will shove out a twinkle
The center was flowing upward
I searched my body for motion, but I stood firm
Reaching out my arms only in illusion
Nerve endings sending mixed signals
Yet my heart went on pounding this profound rhythm
The water froze in its place and quickly changed form
Now a sculpture of ice was born
And in it I observe a fracture taking shape
All at once recognition came into my possession
There before me floated a frozen image of my old self
In an instand after my ackowledgment, an explosion
Pieces of all sorts flew in every direction
But not one hit this new earth where I stood
All scenerty vanished with the ice into thin air
I stood in a vast black void
Noises from the outside world were attempting intrusion
Not one was granted access
In that moment I saw my gift of purity
And the woman who had been destined as mine
Here before me stand her pure heart and soul
From that point on for hours afterward we spoke
Not so much in word or speech, but in admiration
One for another, with an awakened perception
I told my thoughts and dreams, and she hers
And from this were brought forth new words
A short poem of my love which I wrote for her

"A princess riding upon the snow drifts of the universe
Adorned in white and the splendor of her smile..."

We spoke for hours, then days, then months


Seventh Stanza

A great flash of lightning reavealing the well
Upon it painted the name of this truth
Our names have been written in the Book of Life
Not as one and one but as joined forever

Light Speed Music

The sky was no longer blue in color
In fact, not much of a color at all
Instead there existed a new layer of sense
That triggered the greatest of all connections
My eyes had shifted to further off worlds
We journeyed there together
Our bodies beams of light traveling
Below us a cavern where once a fountain sprung
Great waters of ancient memory
Now dry and empty
Dark, but not forgotten or forsaken
Angels visit us as we move rapidly through space
Turning corners sharply with us and singing
From the view we approach
All things seem so far from real
Light
The cares that I once possessed
The weight that they lay on my shoulders
Have recently fallen out of my mind
They have been lifted on to a higher plane
A special corner is now being set aside
For you, but more for us
Claiming our territory together in the wide expanse
We near this chasm, but wish for magic
But a miracle we know shall come true
The Great Divide that separates our touch
Shall be mended and closed up for good
In my arms my skin will be rewarded
And my eyes may finally behold
The princess across this great distance
Such a love could not be purchased for gold


Eighth Stanza

I stand in heavely adoration
That which I hoped has come now to be
For all that is good in this earthly place
Will never quite compare to this gift that we share

A True Love, One True Beauty

Such beautiful words I wish to put forth to you
I appeal to your inner spirit now
That part that cries out for peace and harmony
That part that cried out across that land for me
Now face to face I feel my heart beating
So violently it stirs in my chest
I bend on my knee and raise my eyes to meet yours
And you smile
In that moment I could hardly breathe
I had been blessed so quickly with angelic site
My face lights up, bringing a teardrop to your eye
In that moisture I see the reflection of your soul
How splendid you are with such great worlds tyet to conquer
All of the secrets of your dreams I might someday uncover
My desire for this woman
Is not just for the woman
But for the hope that you might be mine always
One day I shall make you a queen
Take your hand in mine and shout to the heavens
The road that we took, a dark travel indeed
Our sorrow of past is so great
Yet nothing I'd change that might alter this fate
Of you here with me for al ltime
Once I saw night as such a gloom
It has now been turned into light
I follow you fully to the endof our days
And find the greatest joy in you being my wife

For all of the words that I could not convey
I blame only on my humanness and lack of perfection
That day we cross beyond the pearly gates
I might be granted the most tender song
A choir of angels will stand off to the side
As I show them all how I love you


I wrote this and presented it to my fiance, 'bonstermonster', on Valentine's Day.