Jesus Freak

[Countess]

This is part V of the other poem, but posting it separately as it is stand-alone.

To My Housemate...


V
So you say you’re a Jesus freak,
Library complete
With Bibles in Hebrew and Greek,
Bookshelves lined prettily
Like Solomon-laced poetry,
But you’re a phony,
Jabroni,
A regular virtuoso of parsimony,
Conducting a symphony
Of selfish ambition
Behind the mask of a saint.

Your religion is fake
And your take
Will have the swell
Burning in Hell
Eternally.

Love
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness

Go to God to Get Yours Today.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Nah, she's not worth wasting your talents on. Course you could write her out of existence if that's what you want to do, but this isn't up to the way larger ambitions of the first parts of this.

[Homyrrh]

What people say when they find out I'm a Jesus freak? / What will people do when they find out it's true?

Definitely not read your poem; interesting approach, but though I admittedly hold a bias, the above poster is correct. The work is much too ambitious; your aspirations are lofty but unfounded for tackling too critical an issue. I'd recommend being a bit more interpretive, eh?

[Countess]

True, True, Prince, and so it is out of the bigger poem. It was a sprurt of frustration with religious hypocrisy, one of the things I really hate.

Hom, read your comment but am nonplussed. Can you explain what you mean by "aspirations unfounded for tackling too critical an issue?"

[PrinceMyshkin]

True, True, Prince, and so it is out of the bigger poem. It was a sprurt of frustration with religious hypocrisy, one of the things I really hate.

Oh, you cannot possibly hate that more than I do! In fact if I could think of the appropriate weapons, I would challenge you to a duel to determine which of us hates them more!



There’s a back door to Heaven
through which shame-faced miscreants
and whited sepulchers slouch in
under cover of dark.


is the opening to a poem I hope to complete one day. :crash: But mustn't one tread carefully in this matter of designating who are the hypocrites?

[AuntShecky]

A really witty little ditty!

[ampoule]

Nah, she's not worth wasting your talents on.

Really?

[ampoule]

I'm with Auntie. It is rather witty.
I wonder if people think all of us are hypocrites?

[ampoule]

I used to have a next door neighbor who, everytime I would disagree with her, would say, "And you call yourself a Christian." Man, she always got the last word. Grrrrrr. ;)

[PrinceMyshkin]

I used to have a next door neighbor who, everytime I would disagree with her, would say, "And you call yourself a Christian." Man, she always got the last word. Grrrrrr. ;)

And you call her a neighbour?

[ampoule]

And you call her a neighbour?

Yes, I did. She's since moved to far off places. But before that she also decided that I was possessed by the devil and would hold a cross between herself and my yard as she walked past to go talk about me to my other neighbor. I used to cry and cry. I really liked her.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Yes, I did. She's since moved to far off places. But before that she also decided that I was possessed by the devil and would hold a cross between herself and my yard as she walked past to go talk about me to my other neighbor. I used to cry and cry. I really liked her.

This is such an intriguing collection of details! Not just your half-crazed neighbour, those are a dime a dozen, but your interesting reaction to her, the tears combined with your affection for her. Will you write it, either as a poem or more probably as a story? However you frame it the story would I believe be about that conflict of responses on your part.

[Homyrrh]

True, True, Prince, and so it is out of the bigger poem. It was a sprurt of frustration with religious hypocrisy, one of the things I really hate.

Hom, read your comment but am nonplussed. Can you explain what you mean by "aspirations unfounded for tackling too critical an issue?"

Apologies; it seems I've outtyped myself.

I'll kind of rephrase and go a slightly different route:

In essence, it seems (this based entirely on assumption and hypothesis, no doubt) that rather than letting your emotion--seemingly negative at time of writing--become a vehicle to fuel your creative interest, you let it enslave you, resulting in a work that yearns to be so much more.

As with everything written, take a look at it in a few days and see what changes seem appropriate. That's just a thought though.

[dibyendra]

So you say you’re a Jesus freak,
Library complete
With Bibles in Hebrew and Greek,
Bookshelves lined prettily
Like Solomon-laced poetry,
But you’re a phony,
Jabroni,
A regular virtuoso of parsimony,
Conducting a symphony
Of selfish ambition
Behind the mask of a saint.

Your religion is fake
And your take
Will have the swell
Burning in Hell
Eternally.

Love
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness

Go to God to Get Yours Today.

I liked the message of this poem Countess. The message you've conveyed here is deep and concrete as well.


So you say you’re a Jesus freak,
Library complete
With Bibles in Hebrew and Greek,
Bookshelves lined prettily
Like Solomon-laced poetry,
But you’re a phony,
Jabroni,
A regular virtuoso of parsimony,
Conducting a symphony
Of selfish ambition
Behind the mask of a saint.

This first stanza says it all. Great work!

Keep up your good work! :thumbs_up

And my thoughts goes here which I had written on the year 2007.



Thoughts

Religion,
no matter what we follow,
speaks the common voice,
only in different forms,
is a philosophy to lead our human life.

God,
no matter what we imagine,
is the Supreme Being
and the creator of the Universe and everything.
But in reality, maybe vague,
which is out of scope of human understanding.

Human,
no matter how we relate each other,
we are just a living being,
built with flesh and bone,
covered all these by different coloured skin,
having blood coloured red within.

Just a thought.....

This world -
could have become a common place -
if there would be no discriminations -
in the name of God, religion, colour, and race.
What this world would be -
if there would be no human made boundaries?
If there would be no hate upon each other
and everyone living just like brothers and sisters,
there would be no more bloodshed and fears.

Just another thought....
Imagine -
the walls are breaking;
this world becoming a common place for all;
those dead lands are turning green again;
equal opportunities for everyone;
people living together in perfect harmony...

Think that-
in the end...
with empty hands,
what's yours and what's mine,
everything we have is everything we leave here behind.

- © Dibyendra Hyoju
Wednesday, September 19, 2007


I would like to get your view regarding my poem Countess.

[Countess]

Yes, I did. She's since moved to far off places. But before that she also decided that I was possessed by the devil and would hold a cross between herself and my yard as she walked past to go talk about me to my other neighbor. I used to cry and cry. I really liked her.

ROTFLMAO! Thanks for the laugh. Were you ever naughty and gave her the evil eye, or dress in all black to try and frighten her away? I swear, I have to fight the urge to psychologically torture people like that - okay, so I am wicked - but only at certain times with specific people. (-:

She sounds like a paranoid schizo - which is what I suspect I'm up against.

[Countess]

I liked the message of this poem Countess. The message you've conveyed here is deep and concrete as well.



This first stanza says it all. Great work!

Keep up your good work! :thumbs_up

And my thoughts goes here which I had written on the year 2007.



I would like to get your view regarding my poem Countess.

I think it's fantastic - you've said a good deal here in your own words. What's even more strange is the poem I'm writing is organized similiarly (though the content is different).

This poem is better than your other two IMHO. This is the one you should show your friends. (-:

[Countess]

A really witty little ditty!

Thanks Aunt B!

[Markus Whalen]

Countess, your a great poet, I loved your flow. It was like you were slapping me in the face every time I finished a line. Thats a good thing..haha.

I have to agree with one of the first posts though, I am biased about my religion, but I completely agree with your dislike of hypocrisy in judgmental parishioners...

[ReynardKitsune]

me too

[ampoule]

ROTFLMAO! Thanks for the laugh. Were you ever naughty and gave her the evil eye, or dress in all black to try and frighten her away? I swear, I have to fight the urge to psychologically torture people like that - okay, so I am wicked - but only at certain times with specific people. (-:

She sounds like a paranoid schizo - which is what I suspect I'm up against.

You got it girl. As it turns out, she did have serious mental problems. I was not nearly clever enough, darn it. And I had three little boys to protect. ;)

[B-Mental]

I love it, but then again I'm sweet on ya! What a beautiful response to a conceited Christian... I'm Catholic, and I live on the edge of the church. I observe especially during Lent, but then I go out and live my life. Anyways, great poem again Countess. B

[Niamh]

Hey! I really liked the edgy, sharp feel to this poem. as one of the posters above stated, it does slap you in the face. Although i read a lot of the poems in this section, i dont always get the time to post my thoughts but i had to with this one. Really bites you in the bum...:thumbs_up

[Countess]

Thanks B-Mental, Niamh, Ampoule, Markus. Truthfully, I AM a Christian but believe the SPIRIT of Christianity - love, please, patience, gentleness, kindness, meekness, self-control, etc - is more important than reading a bunch of books and going to church every Sunday.

As I told someone, some people have God "out there" (like the pharisees, who surrounded themselves with all the vestments of holiness) but not "in here" (that is, within their heart).

I have prayed and forgiven her, btw. I no longer feel the anger - but, it was a challenge.

[Pendragon]

Countess:

As a Minister with Bi-Polar Disorder whom people who claim Christianity wrote off as "demon-possessed" a long time (15 years) ago, I can tell you that I find your poem to be, well, blameless as far most people's attitutes go. It is pathetic, but many to most who claim Christianity act like they and they alone know the secret of being one. Shunning is big. How to help people if you shun them is something I can't figure. Jesus went to the sinners and poor not to the rich and already church going. The sick needed healing not the well.

It's a rum old world. Can't fault your poem, but I agree that people like that aren't worth the time. Just remember--they don't counterfeit anything that doesn't really have value. If there's a faker, there's somebody real somewhere...

Pen