Love

[mahishi]

The wind breezes
through the meadows
murmuring my love towards thee

When I walks toward s thee
I feel the damp with the morning dew
Half dark,Half light
I see your face in a blooming bud.

Immence of love
Immence of feeling
Floats towards the bloomy sky
Saying my love towards thee

When the breeze give my massage to thee
murmur your love
Cz I am waiting in a rainbow
to receive your lovely massage...........................................

[caelycate]

I like this part a lot:

When I walks toward s thee
I feel the damp with the morning dew
Half dark,Half light
I see your face in a blooming bud.


However, i think it using "thee" instead of "you" makes your poem seem a bit outdated. maybe that's just me though!

[mahishi]

I like this part a lot:

When I walks toward s thee
I feel the damp with the morning dew
Half dark,Half light
I see your face in a blooming bud.


However, i think it using "thee" instead of "you" makes your poem seem a bit outdated. maybe that's just me though!

yeh ,when I wrote this poem I remembered the poem Shall I compare thee to a summers day WRITTEN BY SHAKESPEARE , sO I just used it?

[dibyendra]

The wind breezes
through the meadows
murmuring my love towards thee

When I walks toward s thee
I feel the damp with the morning dew
Half dark,Half light
I see your face in a blooming bud.

Immence of love
Immence of feeling
Floats towards the bloomy sky
Saying my love towards thee

When the breeze give my massage to thee
murmur your love
Cz I am waiting in a rainbow
to receive your lovely massage...........................................

Lovely Mahishi. I really love the nature and your poem is lovely which bestows beauty of the nature. One thing, there are some errors from my point of view. "Immence" should be "Immense", "Cz"=>"Coz'", and the last line contains word "massage", which I think you meant "message". I'm really prone to the errors in spelling and thus I have to rely on spell checkers most of the time. But don't worry, in the poetry, it can be forgiven, but the only thing poet should consider is to convey right message to the readers.

I hope you'll post your other poems in the near future.
Good work Mahishi. :thumbs_up

[mahishi]

The words are not adquet to tell my thanks to you. I hpoe you will make my errors ,I use English as a second language.Thanks a lot