gadzuks328i
02-23-2008, 05:36 PM
Almost Dead
By
Glenn Zuklie
Its 3:00am and for some reason I can’t sleep. Ever since my accident I have been having trouble sleeping. Doctor Elfenbein says it is because I am hyper vigilant. I don’t blame his diagnosis, who wouldn’t be easily startled after being forced to live the rest of my life in a wheelchair. I think to myself, why am I confined to this metal frame with the two spoked wheels and the uncomfortable seat? I feel comfort knowing my wife Jessica is sleeping beside me. I can hear here breathing so peacefully. Jessica and I have been married for 3 years and I love her more than anything, she is my soul mate
We live in a simple town in a simple home. Two bedrooms, white painted walls, one bathroom, and a cat named bob who drools like a bulldog. Jessica can’t have children due to an ovarian cyst that plagues her ovaries. Last year we went through these troubles thinking she may have had cancer and now this happens to me. She has cried a lot since my accident but told me she will always be by my side. I am uncomfortable in public places and feel everyone is always looking at me.
I was driving home from the office on Friday December 7, 2005. I work in the city 25 miles from out home, and it takes me a half hour each way to get there. I was driving in our new Mercedes ML430 Black all wheel drive SUV when it began to snow lightly. The roads were dim lit and I could see the flakes hit the ground and glisten with the moonlight above. The radio was playing the usual Christmas music this time of year, so I turned it off. Having had to listen to Christmas music from October to late December started to become annoying. I took time to remember the date, December 7. This was what our countries leaders called the day of infamy. This is the day when Pearl Harbor was attacked in 1941 and we lost many American naval men, one of which was my grandfather, Petty Officer Rainone. Thinking of my grandfather I must have drifted across the roadway. Before I knew it I had lost control of my car and it began to slide sideways. Not knowing what to do my body tensed up and I slammed on the brakes. This all happened like a slow motion movie as I slid towards impending doom. I saw the tree moments before my SUV slammed into the side of it crushing the passenger door and pinning me inside the vehicle. I think I blacked out for a minute, I am still not sure.
I remember looking around and feeling the pain. The pain was so intense although I could not scream. I could smell antifreeze, motor oil, and gas. The snow was now coming inside of my now smashed windows. I tried to get out of the car fearing it might blow up from the spilled fluids. I thought I was stuck but I actually had broken both my femurs and spiral fractured my tibia making it impossible to move. Looking down I saw blood everywhere and when I felt my mouth some of my teeth were missing. The smell from the airbags was making me nauseous. A now feeling of portending death came over my body like a dark cloud from a horror movie. I thought I was going to die, I though I was going to freeze to death, I even thought no one would find me even though I was on a well traveled road.
Suddenly I heard a women’s voice say “Are you O.K” I looked to my left and saw a female figure standing in the shadows of smoke around my car.
“I don’t know what happened” still wondering how I had lost control of my SUV.
“Stay put I will call for help” as the female figure ran out of my sight.
Moments later I could hear the sirens, then the lights approaching me. The Fireman had to use what they called Jaws of Life to extricate me from the car. All I could feel was a burning sensation in my legs mixed with numbness. The EMS crew strapped me to a gurney and back board. They taped up my whole body and put a stiff plastic neck collar around my neck. I started to feel weak and drifted in and out of consciousness; I was loaded into the ambulance and sped off to Westchester Hospital.
During the ambulance ride I kept feeling people poke and prick me. I tried to open my eyes but the light was hurting them. I could hear two voices, one of them male and one of them female that was comforting. The female voice said “You are going to be fine” while the male voice used the ambulance radio to inform the hospital of their incoming trauma patient. That is about all I can remember about that night.
This chair is like being in a prison. I feel like a freak, I’m depressed and on all types of medicines. Some are for pain, others for anxiety, and some for who knows what. It seems like I am always taking something. The Doctors say I’ll never walk again, but I don’t believe them. I can’t feel anything from the waist down; I even have to urinate through a catheter.
I lie awake at night wondering how such a split second accident could have changed my life so much. I didn’t ask for this to happen, I was a safe driver. I always used my turn signals and wore my seatbelt. I think to myself why me?
It has been 9 months to the day and I look at how much my life has changed. I start back to work next week. What will my co-workers think when they see me roll into work looking like a shopping cart. I know that everyone has been so supportive, maybe it is in my own mind, and maybe I am dwelling on what I can’t change. I feel like I am my own worst enemy sometimes. I dream sometimes that this never happened and think how my life would have been. These dreams offer me some comfort although only temporary. I think I’ll try to sleep now, at least for a little while.
By
Glenn Zuklie
Its 3:00am and for some reason I can’t sleep. Ever since my accident I have been having trouble sleeping. Doctor Elfenbein says it is because I am hyper vigilant. I don’t blame his diagnosis, who wouldn’t be easily startled after being forced to live the rest of my life in a wheelchair. I think to myself, why am I confined to this metal frame with the two spoked wheels and the uncomfortable seat? I feel comfort knowing my wife Jessica is sleeping beside me. I can hear here breathing so peacefully. Jessica and I have been married for 3 years and I love her more than anything, she is my soul mate
We live in a simple town in a simple home. Two bedrooms, white painted walls, one bathroom, and a cat named bob who drools like a bulldog. Jessica can’t have children due to an ovarian cyst that plagues her ovaries. Last year we went through these troubles thinking she may have had cancer and now this happens to me. She has cried a lot since my accident but told me she will always be by my side. I am uncomfortable in public places and feel everyone is always looking at me.
I was driving home from the office on Friday December 7, 2005. I work in the city 25 miles from out home, and it takes me a half hour each way to get there. I was driving in our new Mercedes ML430 Black all wheel drive SUV when it began to snow lightly. The roads were dim lit and I could see the flakes hit the ground and glisten with the moonlight above. The radio was playing the usual Christmas music this time of year, so I turned it off. Having had to listen to Christmas music from October to late December started to become annoying. I took time to remember the date, December 7. This was what our countries leaders called the day of infamy. This is the day when Pearl Harbor was attacked in 1941 and we lost many American naval men, one of which was my grandfather, Petty Officer Rainone. Thinking of my grandfather I must have drifted across the roadway. Before I knew it I had lost control of my car and it began to slide sideways. Not knowing what to do my body tensed up and I slammed on the brakes. This all happened like a slow motion movie as I slid towards impending doom. I saw the tree moments before my SUV slammed into the side of it crushing the passenger door and pinning me inside the vehicle. I think I blacked out for a minute, I am still not sure.
I remember looking around and feeling the pain. The pain was so intense although I could not scream. I could smell antifreeze, motor oil, and gas. The snow was now coming inside of my now smashed windows. I tried to get out of the car fearing it might blow up from the spilled fluids. I thought I was stuck but I actually had broken both my femurs and spiral fractured my tibia making it impossible to move. Looking down I saw blood everywhere and when I felt my mouth some of my teeth were missing. The smell from the airbags was making me nauseous. A now feeling of portending death came over my body like a dark cloud from a horror movie. I thought I was going to die, I though I was going to freeze to death, I even thought no one would find me even though I was on a well traveled road.
Suddenly I heard a women’s voice say “Are you O.K” I looked to my left and saw a female figure standing in the shadows of smoke around my car.
“I don’t know what happened” still wondering how I had lost control of my SUV.
“Stay put I will call for help” as the female figure ran out of my sight.
Moments later I could hear the sirens, then the lights approaching me. The Fireman had to use what they called Jaws of Life to extricate me from the car. All I could feel was a burning sensation in my legs mixed with numbness. The EMS crew strapped me to a gurney and back board. They taped up my whole body and put a stiff plastic neck collar around my neck. I started to feel weak and drifted in and out of consciousness; I was loaded into the ambulance and sped off to Westchester Hospital.
During the ambulance ride I kept feeling people poke and prick me. I tried to open my eyes but the light was hurting them. I could hear two voices, one of them male and one of them female that was comforting. The female voice said “You are going to be fine” while the male voice used the ambulance radio to inform the hospital of their incoming trauma patient. That is about all I can remember about that night.
This chair is like being in a prison. I feel like a freak, I’m depressed and on all types of medicines. Some are for pain, others for anxiety, and some for who knows what. It seems like I am always taking something. The Doctors say I’ll never walk again, but I don’t believe them. I can’t feel anything from the waist down; I even have to urinate through a catheter.
I lie awake at night wondering how such a split second accident could have changed my life so much. I didn’t ask for this to happen, I was a safe driver. I always used my turn signals and wore my seatbelt. I think to myself why me?
It has been 9 months to the day and I look at how much my life has changed. I start back to work next week. What will my co-workers think when they see me roll into work looking like a shopping cart. I know that everyone has been so supportive, maybe it is in my own mind, and maybe I am dwelling on what I can’t change. I feel like I am my own worst enemy sometimes. I dream sometimes that this never happened and think how my life would have been. These dreams offer me some comfort although only temporary. I think I’ll try to sleep now, at least for a little while.