how to choose??

[Silvia]

I have just had a discussion with my father, and I would really appreciate if you could express your opinion on a subject that lies at my heart ..^^
In about 4 months I'm leaving Highschool and I'm therefore busy collecting pamphlets about universities and courses (and I'm really excited about the whole thing, by the way:D !)...
Now, I have been studying foreign languages and literatue so far, and since I really enjoy it, I wish I could keep on studying them at Univeristy. The problem is that the curriculum " Foreign languages and literature" seems to lead to a career as a teacher or in the publishing industry and my father insists that I should change my mind and take up a curriulum such as that dealing with international relations or that of tourism and managment, for they would provide me with a better income and a better future.
I state beforehand that I wouldn't mind becoming a teacher (my teachers are the figures I esteem the most), however, realising how hard their life must be, I understand my father's fear. Moreover, I don't want to disappoint him and make him waste money on a project he has no faith in.
I have doubts myself and think it is positive that both my family and my friends care for my future, but I feel I would be somehow sad and depressed, had I to study something different from literature...

[ZoeyJuly]

;)
but I feel I would be somehow sad and depressed, had I to study something different from literature...

Ur dad isn't going to college
follow Ur dreams!!!!

[Poetess]

Let`s not rush things.
When I was at that level, I had many things on mind like: Archaeology, Human Resources, Psychology and English Literature together...etc. Then, when I just graduated I decided to go to the Fine Arts Faculty for Filming :) and here I am now, a student of Acting - TV and Cinema (hopefully a Director in the third year).
So instead of being stressed about it, wait until you finish. Plus, try to mix something of both: What YOU want, and what your father suggests. Who knows, you might then get to the best thing. :)

PS: teaching is great, it`s an important thing, a way to convey ideas and teach.. But it IS tiresome, believe me - I teach.

[livelaughlove]

Oh boy, do I feel your pain! My mom does the exact same to me - she doesn't understand how I would rather LOVE a lower-paying job than have a higher-paying job that I might not necessarily enjoy as much. In fact, I want to do something with foreign language/literature, too! But she wants me to be a doctor, a vet, etc. There was a point where I did want to be a vet and I haven't decided completely against it, but right now it's not where I'm heading.

My advice to you... keep your mind open. It's great that you have an idea of what you enjoy. There are a lot, and I mean a lot, of people in college who don't know what they want to do. College will bring new experiences and you might even find that you like something which you never liked before. So, don't give up! It is, ultimately, YOUR life. Take what your family says into consideration (of course) but don't live your life by their standards.

I hope this helps - and if you ever want to chat, PM me! It sounds like we have a lot in common.

[Bakiryu]

A person's duty is to her/his parents. For example, I want to be an artist but that doesn't pay at all, so I'll have to choose something to support my parents. I would say try to find a way you can do what you want while satisfying your family's needs.

[Dori]

A person's duty is to her/his parents. For example, I want to be an artist but that doesn't pay at all, so I'll have to choose something to support my parents. I would say try to find a way you can do what you want while satisfying your family's needs.

I do agree with you; however, if I remember correctly, Michelangelo's father didn't want him to become a sculptor. Yet he probably assisted his family much better sculpting and painting than if he were to become something else (a merchant, for example). Just an idea I thought I'd throw out there. :)

[kratsayra]

I think Poetess' advice to "slow down" is good. Unless your father is telling you to go to a university that offers only very specific courses (like an engineering school) most large universities and liberal arts colleges offer courses in all kinds of things. So no matter what place you choose to attend, you will still have plenty of time to explore different career paths and take all kinds of courses. Well, perhaps that isn't the case? I see you are from Italy. In the United States, you do not have to choose your career path upon entering university. But perhaps it is different where you are?

If you are still trying to convince your father about the importance of languages and literatures, you could also take into consideration that knowing different languages and knowing about different cultures (as you might if you were studying different kinds of literature) could very easily mesh with a career in foreign relations, or being a translator, or something productive like that.

[Homyrrh]

;)

Ur dad isn't going to college
follow Ur dreams!!!!
Hmph. Er, how can I say this softly...

Following your dreams and doing what you like are entirely different. I dream of being a billionaire investor...and with those same math skills will be fine making a good six figures in engineering.

If your "dream" is realistically accomplishable, knock yourself out. But if you want to solve world hunger, well, I'm a bit famished and my secretary's sick. McDonalds has a 24/7 drive-thru...

[Homyrrh]

I do agree with you; however, if I remember correctly, Michelangelo's father didn't want him to become a sculptor. Yet he probably assisted his family much better sculpting and painting than if he were to become something else (a merchant, for example). Just an idea I thought I'd throw out there. :)

Please feel free to consider yourself the next Michelangelo...and be the one in BILLIONS.

[Quinn_]

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[Silvia]

Thank you all for your pieces of advice!!

Oh boy, do I feel your pain! My mom does the exact same to me - she doesn't understand how I would rather LOVE a lower-paying job than have a higher-paying job that I might not necessarily enjoy as much.
It is so comforting, livelaughlove, to know someone is going through your same situation...had I to tell my father such a thing, he would answer that I'm living in my own, dream-like world and that I don't have the slightest idea of what real life is, which is, in a measure, true.
I mean, I can only imagine how it must be to be short of money or to be depressed because your efforts are not payed off, since my parents have always provided for me. Still, I can't believe everything is downsized to one's income...what about realizing your potential? what about feeling you're doing what is fair to your nature?


A person's duty is to her/his parents
well, Bakiryu, that's true...the reason why I'm troubling myself so much with this decision is also because I don't want to disappoint them! However, I think that a person's duty should be to her/him self too..


In the United States, you do not have to choose your career path upon entering university. But perhaps it is different where you are?

(as you see, I don't know how to do the "originally posted" thing:blush: !)..
kratsayra, here in Italy they just tell you "if you decide to do this, you will probably end up working in this field".
And probably means a lot:)...you see, my Spanish teacher, for example, studied to become a journalist; one of my mother's fellow employees is graduated in Philosophy...
Ah, and of course, if you realise you don't actually like the kind of classes you are attending, you can change!

If you are still trying to convince your father about the importance of languages and literatures, you could also take into consideration that knowing different languages and knowing about different cultures (as you might if you were studying different kinds of literature) could very easily mesh with a career in foreign relations, or being a translator, or something productive like that.
That's so true! In my opinion, studying literature provides you with basis on which you can subsequently build your knowledge about the mechanism of foreign relations or, let' say, marketing, whereas the opposite is less doable..

[Virgil]

You got some good advice here Silvia from everyone looking at all sides of the problem. I agree with Poetess to be as flexible as possible. Unfortunately European universities are apparently so inflexible. Why? Don't they realize young people need time to experience and grow before they settle in on a career?

Another option for you if you major in languages is translator and/or diplomacy, if that interests you.

I guess I had a similar experience. I loved literature in college, but I ultmately went into engineering. (Actually as an undergraduate I had enough credits in both areas to qualify for both degrees, but you only could get one where I went to school.) I earned my own way through college (my parents didn't have any money to give anyway) so i guess I had the choices of self determination. While I loved literature and only liked engineering in school, I'm am so glad I became an engineer. I love engineering as a career and I doubt I would have loved teaching. One just never knows how things will work out. Loving literature and loving teachng are two different things. As you can see I still involve myself in literature.

[Quinn_]

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[vheissu]

I agree with Poetess to be as flexible as possible. Unfortunately European universities are apparently so inflexible. Why? Don't they realize young people need time to experience and grow before they settle in on a career?

Another option for you if you major in languages is translator and/or diplomacy, if that interests you.


Virgil, why do you say that European Universities are inflexible? Or in what way are they inflexible?

First of all, it depends a lot in which country you are in. I'm studying in a scottish university and ok, there are many rules+regulations but never dead ends: a lot of people have started off with one subject, decided that it wasn't what they wanted after a year or so and re-started doing sth else the following year. I've had a lot of insecurities and problems from year 1, but not once did I think 'I have no alternatives'.

Flexibility at university must have a limit, you're supposed to be old enough to know at least what you're inclination is and be able to make an evaluation of yourself as a potential student.

As for age and experience, it really depends again on where you live: a lot of students finish high school and don't really know what else you could do, apart from going to uni (I was one of them). And there's always the financial side, for how many years can you really live at the expense of your family or getting by with minimal wages (few jobs will actually pay you more without a degree)?

But, I agree with the suggestion of becoming a translator or work in the diplomatic field. The last one is very competitive, but I find it very interesting as well.

Silvia, I can't be much of help since I'm at the opposite end (I'm a science kid). How much time do you have before you have to actually make a decision? My dad was the same, he wanted me to go into economics :sick:
In the end, try and get what you think you like. If your inclination is languages, linguistics and lit, then go for that. There are hundreds of things you can do with a degree in those fields. If you do something that you have no interest in you'll never enjoy uni and you might even lose a couple of years not achieving that much.

[papayahed]

I'd say keep an open mind, take a variety of classes and follow what interests you once you get to college.

When I started college I was vehemently oppossed to engineering, for the first couple semsters I took what interested me and before I knew it I had most of my math classes completed and those were the classes I loved - which, to my dismay, led to engineering.


A person's duty is to her/his parents

I have to disagree with this slightly. Your parents duty is to you not the other way around. I fully plan to have to take care of a few of my relatives but that has never been an issue to determine which path I would take.

[Annamariah]

I had the same problem last spring. I decided I want to be a translator, not an engineer.

I think it doesn't matter if you don't get paid very much as long as you enjoy what you're doing and make enough money to pay the rent, buy food and all the basic stuff. My family has never been rich, but we've always had enough. You don't need a lot of expensive things to be happy. Less is enough as long as you're happy with what you're doing. :)

Don't rush with your choice, take time and think what you really want to do and which is the best option for YOU :)

[Silvia]

Another option for you if you major in languages is translator and/or diplomacy, if that interests you.

Well, Virgil, that is an option..I am already considering it. But, I don't know... I fear languages may lose their appeal without literature. I believe I love English so much because I love studying English literature, and I can say the same thing when it comes to German..to me, literature means a whole culture, a whole way of thinking, I am sure you understand!


There are hundreds of things you can do with a degree in those fields. If you do something that you have no interest in you'll never enjoy uni and you might even lose a couple of years not achieving that much.
:p :lol: ..that's what a teacher told us during an Open Day at University...and I already have problems studying subjects I don't like while I'm still here, attending Highschool!! But I think that's what happens to everyone, isn't it? even in the course you choose you may have to study subjects you don't like that much..

Really..thank you so much for your pieces of advice!! I'm really out to keep an open mind and not to rush as I usually do, even though it'll be hard (knowing myself..:p )!
And then I have a whole week to think it over, since tomorrow I'm leaving for Berlin and I won't be busy doing my homework:banana: !

[Dori]

Please feel free to consider yourself the next Michelangelo...and be the one in BILLIONS.

:lol: I was merely trying to say that perhaps it isn't so bad following a different path from the one one's parents planned. To demonstrate that I used the only example I could think of at the moment, perhaps not the best now that I think about it. :p

[Chava]

A person's duty is to her/his parents. For example, I want to be an artist but that doesn't pay at all, so I'll have to choose something to support my parents. I would say try to find a way you can do what you want while satisfying your family's needs.

Knowing well that my living conditions are different from your own, I must say that I completely disagree with this.
I don't think that your parents have a say whatsoever when it comes to your education, they can guide and advise you, but by no means pressure you into an occupation you don't have a passion for.

My mom has always been super supportive of all my career choices, from the days I wanted to be a balerina, psychologist, and now journalist. Heck when i was three, I wrote a job application to the local circus, and yep, my mom drove me up for an apointment with the director, who inspite all my enthusiasm and sommersaults advised me to wait a few years.

I could not imagine a making a career out of a proffession i didn't really enjoy. And though I may make no money at all from my journalism, it will be a job i wake to with enjoyment every day.

I understand that some might need to provide for your families, and it is indeed a situation I can't imagine, or even relate to. Nonetheless, i still don't believe in pushing your children with guilt into an education that they don't believe in.
Your dad isn't putting money into his project, you are not some form of experiment! Education and university is your project! It is really a hard couple of years, and getting through with it is easier if you enjoy it.

[Homyrrh]

:lol: I was merely trying to say that perhaps it isn't so bad following a different path from the one one's parents planned. To demonstrate that I used the only example I could think of at the moment, perhaps not the best now that I think about it. :p

Fair enough ;)

It'd be best for the poster not to convice herself into believing that EVERY sacrifice and EVERY risk guarantees high rewards. A great lesson for all in similar situations.

Build yourself some support PRIOR to going for broke. Maybe I'm just too much a realist, but your father's advice should be seriously considered not solely because he's your father (though consider it important for this reason regardless), but because he is likely advising you on the basis of both wisdom and experience.

Money doesn't buy happiness, but it does get a better set of memories (won't take credit there...).