atmosfear

[zerosignal]

might as well break the ice with a poem i wrote yesterday.
any thoughts or interpretations are, of course, welcome!

muse (atmosfear)
----------------

it's the fear of...huh?
what's on tv?
songs on the radio
singing to me
why did you, why do you,
why is it me?
how is it possible to be
bound yet so free?
i smell your presence
you smell my fear
i'm growing obsessed
with the muse of the year
inspire me, tire me,
fire is here
igniting and fighting and
biting my ear
breadcrumb trails that
lead to nowhere
if i broke down this wall,
would you even care?
flowers will die and
wells will run dry
but never again
will the sea touch the sky
"...muse, i've got something
i've got to ask you, and
if i told you about it,
then what could we do?"
and then i woke up,
it was all just a dream
left me confused
stifiling screams
sorry if it seems
i'm a million miles away
but deep in this hole
i cannot feel pain
don't look in my eyes
they lead to the soul
and mine is so broken
but somehow, muse knows.
and just for a moment
i saw into yours
and that's what first caught me
- what i can't ignore -
externally happy
internally bruised
i see just a bit of
myself inside you...
is muse just a mirror?
i she's a dream...but
muse is compassion and
thinks she's a queen
but when she's a mirror
she's scarred, scared and flawed
and when i'm a mirror
i feel like i'm god
we burn in like lasers
scarred symmetry flaws
my blood on the ceiling
my flesh on the walls
i run through her forest
her leaves break my fall
but i'd rather have this
than nothing at all
oh muse, please forgive me
oh muse, hear my prayer
i'm trapped deep inside this
i'm so full of terror...

[birgitta_nell@y]

Cool! Wow, a lot of interpretation is possible here, (marvelous!) but everyone will see the poem differently, and feel a different reaction to it. As for me- I like it very much indeed, well done!

[kiz_paws]

Hey, welcome to LitNet, Zero! This poem was wonderful -- it has bits and pieces all tied so neatly together. Some phrases that I really liked were:

breadcrumb trails that
lead to nowhere

don't look in my eyes
they lead to the soul
and mine is so broken
Nicely done. :)

[zerosignal]

comments are always welcome :)


a gray saturday morning in january
---------------------------------

she is the mellow drone
of the song playing on the radio
the fear, the pain, the unblinking eye
fixated firmly on my every move
and enveloped by my every word

she is the sunshine
the indian summer that breaks through
and melts the ice which entrapped my
barely beating heart
and illuminates my soul from
dark-gray to the whitest light

she is the five dollars
i found in my pocket
when my gas tank was empty
mere miles from my destination
during the season's most intense snowfall

she is joy when i am pain
she's the sunshine when i'm rain
the mellow drone inside my brain
(help me, i think it's love again)

and hours pass me by
and i'll wait 'til the end of time
to hear her voice
to see her face
to feel her touch again
but until then,
the snow still buries me
and i am trapped and frozen,
like drinking alone on a friday night.

[zerosignal]

i cannot even begin to express,
how sorry i am for this horrible mess
your voice made me happy, your presence so great
and you were so perfect, i thought it was fate
but then you were here, and i was elsewhere
and i became distant, a feeling you shared
i have an opinion, i have my own words
but when i'm around you, my mind becomes blurred
i'm sitting here, trapped in this horrible shell
my own limitations, my personal hell
you offered your hand and i pushed you away
and i regret nothing more than my distance that day
i begged and i pleaded, but it seemed you were set
we'd only begun, now it's over, but yet
i still have a hope that burns deep inside
that one day, just maybe, you'll be by my side
but i'm just a dreamer, can't blame me for that
but i read too deep into it, this is a fact
but if we can't dream, then what do we have?
a life full of emptiness, meaningless and sad
but your dream kept me going, through my darkest days
and now i'm afraid it's all gone in a haze
i don't want to trap you, you're better than that
i just want to be there to hear when you laugh
and the feeling i got when i held you in my arms
made life seem okay again, devoid of harm
i understand that this may alienate me from you
but i'm so full of sadness, what else could i do?
i wish i could've stayed real and true to myself,
'cause that's who i was when you needed my help
but i tried way too hard to accomidate you
and it drove you away, so i regret that too
but now i need something i can't quite define
and i'm so scared to lose you for good, i won't lie
i don't want to pin you down, and i never did
i don't want to harm you, i want you to live
but i'm about to open up more than before
and i cannot blame you if you must ignore
but here's the honest truth, the way that it is
i'm in love with you, i'm sorry, you're probably pissed
but this is why i had to do what i did
i took a chance again, for the chances i've missed
but we don't need a title, we don't need to 'date',
i just want companionship, im sick of the hate
i'm sick of the darkness and i'm sick of being sad
and you were there to inspire me, every second we had
and inspire you did, and for this i am glad
and i hope that sharing my feeling's isn't bad
but this is what you asked for and this is what you get
and this is why i had to leave, so upset
we were always friends first, and you still are my friend
but know my heart belongs to you, because my heart you did mend
i'd love to be back to the way the way that we were
if that is possible, i'm not too sure
but i'm going to try my very best
to make things okay again, so my mind can rest.
whenever you need me, i'll be there for you
whether you need help with something, or just something to do
i blew my chance once, i won't blow it again
so right now, i'm ecstatic to call you a friend
thank you so much for taking a chance with me
and maybe over time, you'll be able to see
that my intentions were good, execution was bad
and you are one of the best friends ive ever had.

thank you for being you.

[zerosignal]

in terror, in charity
stuck in a dream
surpass the vulgarity
stifle the screams
"all's fair in obsession,"
the vagrants implore
i'll burn out your bridges,
you'll show me the door

all matters aside
i'm lost in a lie
synopsis of sin
a vision of skin (infected within)
the muse sings to me
asleep on the sheets
the muse sings to me
asleep on the sheets (and we cannot speak)

a walking dichotomy
souls left ablaze
"this doesn't make sense to me,"
uttered the slave
horizon trajectory
painting skies blue
may summer's breeze carry me
closer to muse

slave says:
"oh, your song is tearing me,
oh, your touch is scaring me,
but soon you will be gone."

muse says:
"you were always there for me,
but you were never there with me,
and i've been waiting for far too long."

[zerosignal]

can't swim
----------

tonight i'm on fire
i'm laughing as you drown me
i'm slipping on the wires
the horror when they found me

the clock's ticking slowly
it mocks me 'cause it knows me
thank god i can swim...or at least hold my breath
but not forever

the flames burn and engulf me
you're laughing and i'm sorry
i bound you with the wires
now drown me 'cause i'm happy

inferno burning slowly
suffocating 'cause it knows me
thank god you can't swim...as i still hold my breath
waiting for never

this ship is sinking
drowning in flames
this ship is sinking
drowning in flames

[zerosignal]

thirteen
--------

tied around throat
support kicked away
hanging, swaying
eyes turn white
tongue feels thick
i'm free, i'm flying

days go by
dreams pass through
corrupt and infect me
oh, she said

cut thru skin
river flows
medicate and sedate
mental block
build a wall
assimilate i will

curiosity kills
burn the foundation

[zerosignal]

a love song for nobody
----------------------

spring to life again
self-imposed demands
i guess i did it to myself
(what the hell?)
visionary time
come play with my mind
my soul's still sitting on your shelf
(don't blame yourself)

rain, rain
here to stay
sunshine stays
in bed today

pick the pieces up
this half-broken cup
full of sorrow and remorse
(but of course...)

rain, rain
here to stay
sunshine stays
in bed today
wish i may
wish i might
dream a dream
that we're alright

[neptune's girl]

Zero -
You have such a powerful voice! Each line pushes the reader forward to the next. I especially liked Atmosfear, A Grey Saturday in January and The Muse and the Slave.
:)