a frolic architecture........

[ahsiam]

trumpets of god announced death
and it was not beyond reproach;
rather i am indebted to him;
its hard to live
than to die.


this frolic architecture of god will lead me to void,
a sceptre will not be in my hand
neither will be its shadow
nor i can have an armour against it.
so, i will wait for my fellings to smother,
will wait for my breath to be soft and low
and for my days to end....
because i dont have any profane language;
today i am here
and let that be enough!


let it mistify me
i dont have strength to heave another breath;
the air is cold
and the sky is high
so let me lie
and let me die
let me be lost in this ebony world,
let me be lost in the dust.

[symphony]

Remember i told u to finish it because i liked the beginning? Guess what? I still like it. :) Thanks for finishing it. And :thumbs_up

But there's a few points i may have overlooked before. Some things just hit me now as i was reading it more carefully. Firstly, that 2nd line's confusing me a lot today. I cant quite connect it to the 3rd line and rest. When ur saying "it was not beyond reproach", how can u say that the "architecture" is frolic and u're indebted to God for that(assuming the "him" meant "God", since the 1st line said "trumpets of God")? And also i cant interpret the use of the word "frolic" in this poem. The poem seemed(to me) to work on giving a divine image of death rather than frolic...
And i found it a bit tough to visualise this poem too, because, just when i've started to feel/visualise the poem, the words "frolic architecture" stopped me and took me nowhere, not even to the void it speaks of. It kinda wound me up with a question like "what architecture, sorry?"!

It can be that i'm a horrible second reader. But as u can see, u have to bear with me. :p

[AuntShecky]

This piece needs another round with "Spell-Check"

[ahsiam]

This piece needs another round with "Spell-Check"

thanks i was in a hurry. i should have checked before. :)

[ahsiam]

Remember i told u to finish it because i liked the beginning? Guess what? I still like it. :) Thanks for finishing it. And :thumbs_up

But there's a few points i may have overlooked before. Some things just hit me now as i was reading it more carefully. Firstly, that 2nd line's confusing me a lot today. I cant quite connect it to the 3rd line and rest. When ur saying "it was not beyond reproach", how can u say that the "architecture" is frolic and u're indebted to God for that(assuming the "him" meant "God", since the 1st line said "trumpets of God")? And also i cant interpret the use of the word "frolic" in this poem. The poem seemed(to me) to work on giving a divine image of death rather than frolic...
And i found it a bit tough to visualise this poem too, because, just when i've started to feel/visualise the poem, the words "frolic architecture" stopped me and took me nowhere, not even to the void it speaks of. It kinda wound me up with a question like "what architecture, sorry?"!

It can be that i'm a horrible second reader. But as u can see, u have to bear with me. :p

here frolic is used as lively,joyful. i said death a lively architecture because it is lively to me. ofcourse you can understand that i didnt mean it as a general meaning. i said it is hard to live than to die, so death seemed more lively, more joyful to me. so i used frolic. and i didnt get you about the second line.
i think every thing is clear now. i am glad you took so much time and read it.:)

[scarlet pain]

first of all i would say the name is exceptional.
its totally uniqe to compare death wit jolly or bright things.i'm surprised of your limit to imagine.great work i really loved the poem.

[ahsiam]

thanks scar.:D
didnt really know someone can like this poem.:p