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Luckey09
02-11-2008, 07:43 PM
first thing I've written...yay!

Hello again,
My wayward friend,
You passed me by today.
And with quick feet
You scurried by
As not to meet me
In the eye.
But as you glanced,
Just by chance,
We met there for a second time.
And forever
You will never
Return to me what’s mine.
Because you stole
From me that night
What is mine by nature’s right.
And may I ask,
If you allow,
For it’s my task
To watch you now.
Are these phantom
Eyes as cold
As the winter’s
Chilling snow?
Oh my, oh my,
How painfully I hope so!
For I will wait
Until the date
That you will suffer
My same fate.
Until then,
My awful friend,
I will watch you
Till the end.

lucidnightmares
02-11-2008, 09:25 PM
At first it sounded restrained to me but the more i read it the more i enjoyed it.

"Are these phantom
Eyes as cold
As the winter’s
Chilling snow?"

i love that line, keep up the good work and welcome to the board:thumbs_up

wagravity
02-11-2008, 11:50 PM
this poem had such a steady flow and although it's meaning is a down note itself, you made it a way that it was fun to read. not sure if that makes sense but it does to me.

anyway i enjoyed this poem

Sweets America
02-12-2008, 04:25 AM
It sounded familiar to me, it was a nice poem.:) It has mystery in it, hidden and unsaid feelings, I like that.

Pensive
02-12-2008, 08:16 AM
I liked it. :)

PrinceMyshkin
02-12-2008, 09:03 AM
What's poetry for if not, at times, to get out the full venom of one's anger and you sure have done that here, and rather nimbly.

kiz_paws
02-13-2008, 03:39 AM
What's poetry for if not, at times, to get out the full venom of one's anger and you sure have done that here, and rather nimbly.I like the way you said that. Surely this sums up my reaction to the poem, and to add that I enjoyed it very much.

Welcome to LitNet, Lucky! :)