View Full Version : Discussion: Love at First Sight
Keep it nice--- This is a discussion, not a debate. I want to know if people think love at first sight is possible. Opinions of others are to be respected, but not necessarily accepted. Tell me what you think! I want all ends of the spectrum.
I don't think it's possible. I think that love-- true love-- is based n the deepest levels of compatibility, that the eyes cannot observe.
But that doesn't mean that I'm closed to opposition...;)
FIRE AWAY!!!!
ntropyincarnate
02-11-2008, 06:15 PM
I agree. If you think you loved someone at first sight, it's a shallow love. All you can know about a person from first sight is what they look like.
LadyW
02-11-2008, 06:22 PM
Firstly, how do you define "love at first sight"?
Are you refering to literally the very moment you first lay eyes on someone? Or making an acquaintance?
I've heard that one can tell a great deal about another in those first few minutes of human interaction; but I highly doubt that's enough to start booking a wedding.
I believe that attatchments can develop in split seconds, but perhaps with further knowledge of a persons character, this can go one way or the other.
Perhaps "love at first sight" is a term for those who were immediately attracted and besotted with their partners, who they have maintained a relationship with for a long time.
For those who were not so fortunate, they would simply refer to this as fundamental human attraction resulting in a relationship leading to a break up due to differences/clashes in character.
I've decided not to give a definite opinion her, I don't think I've had enough experience yet to pass comment.
Thank you!
Also, I believe that you have tio know that you can tolerate a person's vices before you know you love him/her. If you can't put up with them, you can't really love him/her.
Firstly, how do you define "love at first sight"?
Are you refering to literally the very moment you first lay eyes on someone? Or making an acquaintance?
I've heard that one can tell a great deal about another in those first few minutes of human interaction; but I highly doubt that's enough to start booking a wedding.
I believe that attatchments can develop in split seconds, but perhaps with further knowledge of a persons character, this can go one way or the other.
Perhaps "love at first sight" is a term for those who were immediately attracted and besotted with their partners, who they have maintained a relationship with for a long time.
For those who were not so fortunate, they would simply refer to this as fundamental human attraction resulting in a relationship leading to a break up due to differences/clashes in character.
I've decided not to give a definite opinion her, I don't think I've had enough experience yet to pass comment.
"Love at first sight" as in Romeo and Juliet-esque. Or Disney movies...
dramasnot6
02-11-2008, 06:24 PM
The concept of love is incredibly complex and multi-layered. I do believe in such a thing as "chemistry" at an initial meeting with someone, and this chemistry often serves as the platform for real love to grow. However, I believe love is composed of a certain caring and understanding of a person, and can therefore only be achieved after "getting to know a person",which takes time.
I think "love at first sight" is just often a confused burst of mutual pheromones.
I believe in "lust at first sight", mind you.
I agree. If you think you loved someone at first sight, it's a shallow love. All you can know about a person from first sight is what they look like.
You can sometimes tell a little about one's personality from the way one presents him/herself. But I do agree with you.
I believe in "lust at first sight", mind you.
:eek: Women believe in that too?!
Personally, I believe in "lust at first sight" (this is a honest male speaking here ;)). Actually, I can't really control whether I believe it or not, it just...happens, if you know what I mean. ;)
LadyW
02-11-2008, 06:46 PM
"Love at first sight" as in Romeo and Juliet-esque. Or Disney movies...
Ah, Romeo & Juliet...
Bearing in mind these were fictional characters, I do believe the fact they took their lives for one another supports this idea of "love at first sight".
ntropyincarnate
02-11-2008, 06:50 PM
But I don't think they loved each other THAT MUCH at first sight. They came to love each other enough for that, and pretty quickly too, but it wasn't instantaneous. Besides, as you say, it's fiction.
You can sometimes tell a little about one's personality from the way one presents him/herself. But I do agree with you.
:eek: Women believe in that too?!
Personally, I believe in "lust at first sight" (this is a honest male speaking here ;)). Actually, I can't really control whether I believe it or not, it just...happens, if you know what I mean. ;)
Um... you could have left out the "it just happens." I can only imagine... but I don't really want to.
But yes, I believe in... erm... voluntary lust at first sight.
LadyW
02-11-2008, 06:56 PM
But I don't think they loved each other THAT MUCH at first sight. They came to love each other enough for that, and pretty quickly too, but it wasn't instantaneous. Besides, as you say, it's fiction.
Personally, I think Romeo was rather melodramatic, and fickle too. One minute he's pining for Rosaline, then he's serenading Juliet and mithering for a kiss. I have to admit, I found him rather irritating at some points :lol:
If you are correct, that love must have come about rather rapidly than you would expect.
On the other hand, perhaps "love at first sight" isn't instantaneously falling in love, but the acknowledgement of the possibility of falling in love.
ntropyincarnate
02-11-2008, 07:00 PM
Personally, I think Romeo was rather melodramatic, and fickle too. One minute he's pining for Rosaline, then he's serenading Juliet and mithering for a kiss. I have to admit, I found him rather irritating at some points :lol:
I know what you men...:lol:
If you are correct, that love must have come about rather rapidly than you would expect.
Definitely.
On the other hand, perhaps "love at first sight" isn't instantaneously falling in love, but the acknowledgement of the possibility of falling in love.
I would agree with that.
On the other hand, perhaps "love at first sight" isn't instantaneously falling in love, but the acknowledgement of the possibility of falling in love.
Very well put, if I must say so myself. :thumbs_up However, I think this is limited to only the romantic and the desperate.
Don't listen to me though; I'm no expert. ;)
LadyW
02-11-2008, 07:08 PM
Very well put, if I must say so myself. :thumbs_up However, I think this is limited to only the romantic and the desperate.
:) The romantic can't help it. The desperate seek it in places they know they won't find it.
That's my limited experience though...
Lote-Tree
02-11-2008, 07:24 PM
LOVE at FIRST SIGHT? - Yes possible and it happens!
"There are certain individuals
Who come to us suddenly
Unannounced and Nameless
As if from nowhere
And yet you know instantly
That you have known them for your entire life.
They become your Norths, Souths, Easts and Wests
As well as your Aboves, Belows and Inside and Out.
They come and impinge on you
And creep into your soul unnoticed
To remain there forever.
Though they are no longer with you;
Though they have taken a different path from you;
Though they are now journeying with other people;
Their memories will come to haunt you - years
And even decades after they have gone from you.
They will slip into your dreams
And with their smiles
Make your heart tremble with joy
And with their laughter
Make you rejoice
For all the things that you have around you
The happiness will well up inside like a newly dammed river
And it will pour out from you
Like the monsoon rain
To those that you have around youl...
But when the dream fades the pain will return
And you will get on with your life as before...
SleepyWitch
02-12-2008, 05:31 AM
LOVE at FIRST SIGHT? - Yes possible and it happens!
"There are certain individuals
Who come to us suddenly
Unannounced and Nameless
As if from nowhere
And yet you know instantly
That you have known them for your entire life.
They become your Norths, Souths, Easts and Wests
As well as your Aboves, Belows and Inside and Out.
this could be my biography... but tell me, how many of these can you have in one lifetime and why is my hubby not one of these ppl?
I've had 2 experiences of this kind (plus two more candidates that I clicked with instantly but have no romantic interest in).
the first guy and me ended up having a relationship (of sorts), but he was a controlling bastard who played mind games with me and cheated on me... so? granted, I knew he was all that and 'loved' him anyway and I still love him today (as in accept him the way he is and wouldn't want to change him).
number 2 is someone I've had a crush on for a couple of years now, but seriously, although he has a lot of potential, in terms of character, he's not the noblest of all carbon-based bipeds that go by the name of human . what's more, even though I have lots of muddled feelings for him and it was 'love' at first sight, we are fundamentally incompatible. If I could spend more than an hour with him alone, we'd probably use the time to strangle each other :D
with my hubby, it's totally different. when we first met, I thought he was a totally dull, geeky, not individualistic enough, not very sexy, not even remotely good-lucking, just dull dull dull dull..... :as-sleep: it took us two years to pair up in the first place.
as it turns out, we can talk about anything and everything, whereas with the two gentlemen above I can/could never talk about anything more serious than the wheather, and my hubby and me are 100% compatible. ...... which probably means I'm dull too :D
so my question is, does this feeling that "you have known them for your entire life" mean you 'love' them in one way or another or does it just mean what it says? I.e. you feel like you've known them for your entire life FULLSTOP. and then your feelings get muddied up and you think it must be love or attraction or whatever?
Lote-Tree
02-12-2008, 05:43 AM
so my question is, does this feeling that "you have known them for your entire life" mean you 'love' them in one way or another or does it just mean what it says? I.e. you feel like you've known them for your entire life FULLSTOP. and then your feelings get muddied up and you think it must be love or attractions or whatever?
But you know very well Sleepy The Witch - Certainty - is a psychological state and not necessarily based on objective facts. Thats why feel with your heart but let your Reason be in Control :D
Granny5
02-12-2008, 07:04 AM
I went on a date with my husband because he wouldn't stop asking me out and my Mother thought he sounded nice.(he was in radio at the time) He seemed to be attracted to me at first sight, but I really wasn't attracted to him. Believe it or not, we went to see Romeo and Juliet on our first date. I thought it was pretty lame for him to take me there. But from our first kiss, I was in love and, somehow, I knew I'd always be in love with him. So, first sight I don't believe in, but first kiss I know can happen. We've been together 35 years and we're still "in love" as well as "in lust".
Pensive
02-12-2008, 07:23 AM
Yes. Love/desire (not only romantic) is a f*****g b*****d, you don't know who/what you fall for and when...
LadyW
02-12-2008, 07:47 AM
Yes. Love/desire (not only romantic) is a f*****g b*****d, you don't know who/what you fall for and when...
I second that :D
Lote-Tree
02-12-2008, 08:08 AM
Yes. Love/desire (not only romantic) is a f*****g b*****d, you don't know who/what you fall for and when...
There is always a lesson in f******g and b*******d :D
Pensive
02-12-2008, 08:24 AM
I second that
Thank you.
There is always a lesson in f******g and b*******d :D
And...your point here? (or is Lote up for random randomy randomness to 'lengthen a thread's life' :p)
Lote-Tree
02-12-2008, 08:26 AM
And...your point here?
That there is a Love Lesson in all this ;-)
(or is Lote up for random randomy randomness to 'lengthen a thread's life' :p)
There is always a Method in my Madness ;-)
Play is the Thing! In it you will catch the Conscious of the King ;-)
Pensive
02-12-2008, 08:29 AM
There is always a Method in my Madness ;-)
Umm good point.
Lote-Tree
02-12-2008, 08:41 AM
Umm good point.
:D
Love is pain, love is sadness, madness badness, love is sorrow - love is?
tearing of the skin, of burning, of drowning, of crowning of thorns - Love is?
Hot iron through the soul, smashing your body against the rocks - love is?
being squeezed out through a metal straw, being sucked out from the neck like a vampire sucking out the blood...love is?
Most cruel, most unfair, most unjust, most arbitary - love is stranger than strange!
But love is also a Transcendental moment of bliss happiness joy...
We learn these love lessons...and move on...for love is is most bizzare...
pussnboots
02-12-2008, 09:40 AM
I'm going to add my 2 cents worth here. Love at first sight ? Is it possible ? I think so for some people. The very first time I met my husband, I just knew he was the one for me. I'm not saying I was in love with him right away but somehow I knew he was a special person. I can't explain it, it just was. We were alike and different in so many ways. I guess you can say we balanced each other. I like LadyW's analogy, "love isn't instananeously falling in love , but the acknowledgement of the possibility of falling in love". I wasn't looking to fall in love when i first met my husband, it happened over time. I also know people who have fallen in love and gotten married or are abt to be after knowing each other for a few months or less. I personally don't see how one can get to know another person that intimately in such a short period of time but it happens and some of them are still happily married.
livelaughlove
02-14-2008, 09:03 PM
Like some, I believe in "lust" at first sight - an immediate attraction to someone, but can't quite fathom loving somebody without knowing them and being able to appreciate their differences/vices/quirks. We learned in school recently all about our hormones and the releases of dopamine which makes us feel good - this is probably what most people feel with love at first sight. Which is not to say that those who fall in love at first sight are just in lust - it's more that once the connection is established, then the deeper feelings follow.
Lily Adams
02-15-2008, 01:55 PM
I believe in "lust at first sight", mind you.
That's a good way to explain it.
NikolaiI
02-15-2008, 05:05 PM
I fell in love with him at first sight, but then who wouldn't?
http://media.dave.tv/Store02/0/0/12/12974.dat
Bakiryu
02-15-2008, 06:37 PM
That person scares me Nikki, who is that?
Lote-Tree
02-15-2008, 07:03 PM
I fell in love with him at first sight, but then who wouldn't?
Nikolai I thought you were guy?
Bakiryu
02-15-2008, 07:59 PM
Nikolai I thought you were guy?
oh he is. :p
islandclimber
02-15-2008, 08:06 PM
what if you love everyone and everything??? :confused:
Bakiryu
02-15-2008, 08:08 PM
what if you love everyone and everything??? :confused:
oooh, i do the same thing.
i asked but people told me it meant i was a hippie, oh well!
islandclimber
02-15-2008, 08:15 PM
oooh, i do the same thing.
i asked but people told me it meant i was a hippie, oh well!
well, a hippie, eh... I think you got lucky there... I wish people would tell me that... but instead people tell me I'm insane to love good ole George W.
but you just can't help but love the fearless ruler of the US of A!!! he is so cute when he talks about how all the rest of the world is evil and we need to destroy them!:lol:
Bakiryu
02-15-2008, 08:23 PM
well, a hippie, eh... I think you got lucky there... I wish people would tell me that... but instead people tell me I'm insane to love good ole George W.
but you just can't help but love the fearless ruler of the US of A!!! he is so cute when he talks about how all the rest of the world is evil and we need to destroy them!:lol:
:lol: or when he reads books upside down!
islandclimber
02-15-2008, 08:34 PM
:lol: or when he reads books upside down!
yes, I have wondered about that... he is a talented man! me, I have no talent, I always get all confused when I try..
so then you just go back to mass love at first sight... though, people do find it strange when you go hug them and tell them you love them endlessly, on the street... and to tell the truth I still haven't been able to figure out why???
*drops to knees in puddle of tears, casts head back, throws arms out, sobs up to the heavens*
WHY!!!!!!!
Bakiryu
02-15-2008, 08:36 PM
yes, I have wondered about that... he is a talented man! me, I have no talent, I always get all confused when I try..
so then you just go back to mass love at first sight... though, people do find it strange when you go hug them and tell them you love them endlessly, on the street... and to tell the truth I still haven't been able to figure out why???
*drops to knees in puddle of tears, casts head back, throws arms out, sobs up to the heavens*
WHY!!!!!!!
it seems to work well enough on high school freshmen, they just follow you around like puppies after.
You're so melodramatic! :lol:
islandclimber
02-15-2008, 09:07 PM
it seems to work well enough on high school freshmen, they just follow you around like puppies after.
You're so melodramatic! :lol:
i bet it does... melodramatic! moi? no no no... you ain't seen nothing yet:lol:
Lote-Tree
02-16-2008, 04:46 AM
what if you love everyone and everything??? :confused:
You become either a Doormat or a Buddha :D
islandclimber
02-16-2008, 03:11 PM
You become either a Doormat or a Buddha :D
or maybe both??? maybe, just maybe the goal of a buddha is becoming a doormat!:goof:
or you could be a doormat for buddhas...
Lote-Tree
02-16-2008, 04:08 PM
or maybe both??? maybe, just maybe the goal of a buddha is becoming a doormat!:goof:
or you could be a doormat for buddhas...
Nay Buddah can never be a doormat because he placed dignity of humans with humans themselves :D
Pensive
02-16-2008, 04:11 PM
what if you love everyone and everything??? :confused:
You are God because God loves all His creations.
kilted exile
02-16-2008, 05:26 PM
If love is solely about appearances then yes love at first sight is possible, however if love is about anything deeper than that then no it is not
jon1jt
02-16-2008, 06:47 PM
Keep it nice--- This is a discussion, not a debate. I want to know if people think love at first sight is possible. Opinions of others are to be respected, but not necessarily accepted. Tell me what you think! I want all ends of the spectrum.
I don't think it's possible. I think that love-- true love-- is based n the deepest levels of compatibility, that the eyes cannot observe.
But that doesn't mean that I'm closed to opposition...;)
FIRE AWAY!!!!
Hell yeah love at first sight is real. I take one look at Heather Graham and trust me that's love at first sight. :p
Scheherazade
02-16-2008, 07:02 PM
Depends on how you define love, I guess.
jon1jt
02-17-2008, 12:05 AM
Depends on how you define love, I guess.
That's too relativist for me. Love, defined: To have and to hold. :p
Lote-Tree
02-18-2008, 04:38 AM
You are God because God loves all His creations.
God loveth not Satan;-)
That's too relativist for me. Love, defined: To have and to hold. :p
Love can't be confined.
Pensive
02-18-2008, 06:41 AM
God loveth not Satan;-)
Nah, He does. Just because you love somebody doesn't mean you can't dislike the choice he makes.
But love at first sight is a tale woven by Disney movies and the brothers grimm. ANd it sickens me that society believes you can "fall in love." They make it sound effortless. Maybe I'm just in world-hater mode because of Valentine's Day...
Scheherazade
02-18-2008, 11:03 AM
That's too relativist for me. Love, defined: To have and to hold. :pSo, by that definition, we cannot say you love Heather, can we?
;)
*rawr* someone's in a mood, today...
Scheherazade
02-18-2008, 11:32 AM
*rawr* someone's in a mood, today...Was that addressed to me, Anza?
maybe... :D
Whatcha gonna do about it?
Scheherazade
02-18-2008, 11:35 AM
Please do share.
I was only kidding.
You made a very interesting point that hit dead-on like a sniper, or a ninja or something!
jon1jt
02-18-2008, 12:28 PM
So, by that definition, we cannot say you love Heather, can we?
;)
Well, my sweet Heather is working on another film and I'm here, at home, waiting. And from these corners of our sweet lives we share visions of ecstasy, a sort of having and holding. For now I'll just have to sweat it out, for her love in general, I mean. ;)
1n50mn14
02-18-2008, 12:55 PM
I don't beleive in love at first sight, because love for me is accepting and appreciating every aspect of a person. It's not based on visuals, though you can be extremely attracted to somebody at first sight and have it develop into a strong love not based off of lust at first sight. I remember when I first met my partner of a year, I had ZERO attraction factor to him, in any capacity, mental or physical. Well, things have certainly changed. And now people are shocked when we're not together. :p
jon1jt
02-18-2008, 04:36 PM
I don't beleive in love at first sight, because love for me is accepting and appreciating every aspect of a person. It's not based on visuals, though you can be extremely attracted to somebody at first sight and have it develop into a strong love not based off of lust at first sight.
That all sounds very logical, but real experience is never logical. :)
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