liveinthewoods
02-11-2008, 12:56 AM
When I put these things,
Slimy and sticky
With sharp needle points
Into my pristine body,
Filling my skin and mouth with the bad taste
Like my stomach hates me
And I don’t know why I would do such a thing
Like a punch to my brain and my nerves and my spine
And then I slip simply into the feelings
I once never knew existed
And I am happy for the escape
And the joy and the simplistic feelings
That are all I have when I no longer know any responsibility
But oh the feelings of guilt
And the need to hide from the law from the man
From your boss and mine
And our parents and the school
And anyone but Amsterdam
And our friends will think we are bad kids
With bad ideas and poor choices
That will follow us through our schools
Until that pivotal moment in your life when you realize
That since the last time we got up, up, and away
You can really smell the green grass and the clean air
And see the blue sky and white clouds for the first time
But does it matter
When compared to the skin tingling sensation you can get else where
In the woods or in your buddy's basement on the weekends
Or sometimes when school is out, for this we will never know the answer
But to all of life’s other questions we can answer
But they will change daily hourly weekly secondly yearly
Until we don’t even know ourselves what the right answer is
Or even the question, am I right or am I wrong
This I will never know or care
I will only know what I chose and what I do now
And the reasons to some are important
But to others all that matters is I am out
And I will no longer be joining their departments from reality
With startling regularity
And I pine for the feelings but my brain won’t take it
Or into a deep sleep sometimes without end
Hooked up to a machine that will breathe for me
And a tube to feed me
And who knows maybe it won’t be so bad
But it could be worse than the numbness the boring the pain of everyday
It could be nothing just laying there
And without a doubt I will chose to abstain and it is not my fault
And I hope we remember that I didn’t chose this
I love you and I will be back someday
Or maybe not but I will always be here
For a light or a hug or a deep conversation
And a car ride when I can drive
But if I go back
I am scared
I will lose
What little gray matter
I have left.
Slimy and sticky
With sharp needle points
Into my pristine body,
Filling my skin and mouth with the bad taste
Like my stomach hates me
And I don’t know why I would do such a thing
Like a punch to my brain and my nerves and my spine
And then I slip simply into the feelings
I once never knew existed
And I am happy for the escape
And the joy and the simplistic feelings
That are all I have when I no longer know any responsibility
But oh the feelings of guilt
And the need to hide from the law from the man
From your boss and mine
And our parents and the school
And anyone but Amsterdam
And our friends will think we are bad kids
With bad ideas and poor choices
That will follow us through our schools
Until that pivotal moment in your life when you realize
That since the last time we got up, up, and away
You can really smell the green grass and the clean air
And see the blue sky and white clouds for the first time
But does it matter
When compared to the skin tingling sensation you can get else where
In the woods or in your buddy's basement on the weekends
Or sometimes when school is out, for this we will never know the answer
But to all of life’s other questions we can answer
But they will change daily hourly weekly secondly yearly
Until we don’t even know ourselves what the right answer is
Or even the question, am I right or am I wrong
This I will never know or care
I will only know what I chose and what I do now
And the reasons to some are important
But to others all that matters is I am out
And I will no longer be joining their departments from reality
With startling regularity
And I pine for the feelings but my brain won’t take it
Or into a deep sleep sometimes without end
Hooked up to a machine that will breathe for me
And a tube to feed me
And who knows maybe it won’t be so bad
But it could be worse than the numbness the boring the pain of everyday
It could be nothing just laying there
And without a doubt I will chose to abstain and it is not my fault
And I hope we remember that I didn’t chose this
I love you and I will be back someday
Or maybe not but I will always be here
For a light or a hug or a deep conversation
And a car ride when I can drive
But if I go back
I am scared
I will lose
What little gray matter
I have left.