To Charlie Chaplin's Moustache

[The Rider]

Bristling and determined,
An inky, blatant object compactly typed
Between the nose and the lips:
A black name on a not so white list.

For the people?
God no!
And don't let them hear you say otherwise.
He's not part of that crowd.

You have to pay to see this show,
Capital is the only way, swear on the Stars and Stripes!
Back flips and bowler hats only go so far,
And in the end it only comes down to one thing:

Let it never be said
That the man made the moustache,
For it should always be known
That the moustache made the man.

I'm not too happy with the transition between the third and fourth stanzas if anyone has any thoughts/criticisms/comments/etc. that would be fantastic. Thanks for reading!
- Rider

[AuntShecky]

I think that the transition between the two stanzas is okay, but I don't get the "Stars and Stripes" reference, as
Chaplin retained his British citizenship and, despite the popularity of his films, was never really made to feel at home in the U.S. His honorary Academy Award almost seemed like an afterthought. He lived out his last days in
Switzerland.

Your piece has a good quality in that it doesn't bite off more than it can chew, however. For a truly masterful poetic study of Charlie Chaplin, in which the poet captures the essence of the man in a little incident is "Chaplinesque" by Hart Crane. I hope you have already read it, or that you do so soon.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Bristling and determined,
An inky, blatant object compactly typed
Between the nose and the lips:
A black name on a not so white list.

For the people?
God no!
And don't let them hear you say otherwise.
He's not part of that crowd.

You have to pay to see this show,
Capital is the only way, swear on the Stars and Stripes!
Back flips and bowler hats only go so far,
And in the end it only comes down to one thing:

Let it never be said
That the man made the moustache,
For it should always be known
That the moustache made the man.

I'm not too happy with the transition between the third and fourth stanzas if anyone has any thoughts/criticisms/comments/etc. that would be fantastic. Thanks for reading!
- Rider

I quite enjoyed this as it is but beyond that I salute you for choosing such an off-beat subject.

[dramasnot6]

I agree with Prince! You so cleverly incorporated references to Chaplin's past and reputation, I particulary enjoyed "A black name on a not so white list."

[The Rider]

The "Stars and Stripes" reference is an immigrants view of the American way. Chaplin wanted to stay as an American, but had his visa revoked on a short trip back to the UK. My reference was my idea of a futile attempt on his part to seem more American by swearing on the Country's flag, a saying which (althoguh Patriotic) is cliche in true American society.