i saw an old man smiling

[ahsiam]

i saw an old man smiling
when he had a life to live
and a death to die.


the wayward smile followed the sun
when the pale face was shrouded with sunlight
and it shone like the sun
i saw the morn' light near his face curve
when dawn died in there.


he smiled at me
and i found his lost youth there
when he possessed the world
and his days!
when he tuned his flute
and woes of all village wives were whispered away;
away with soft dying notes.


the smile was not fraught with an ignorance of pain
neither it was wreathed with the painter of pain
it was a veil of pain, made of happy memories.



i didnt find a drop of tear
neither hate,pride or fear
all i found,was joy.



in the downhill of the page of his life
he didnt remember the death of his wife
neither of his son nor he had anything to lament
all he had was hope and desire.


he smiled at me
his mute silence had his voice and his words
and it made me smile
the joy, the peace, the hope this smile gives-
human all over the world should choose to live.

[symphony]

Kinda rings a bell.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I love this for your selfless attention to someone else, and especially for these lines:

[I][CENTER][B]
when he tuned his flute
and woes of all village wives were whispered away;
away with soft dying notes.

and


in the downhill of the page of his life
he didnt remember the death of his wife

[ahsiam]

I love this for your selfless attention to someone else, and especially for these lines:


and

thanks for your wise comments prince, its always a pleasure to have someone elderly and more knowledgeble as a guide. i'll try to do much better next time. your praises will be my inspiration. :)

again thanks. :D

[jon1jt]

This reminds me of an old song by Genesis called, Lonely Man On The Corner. The song is nice.

[kiz_paws]

ahsiam, your words enrapt me, what a lovely poem. Some phrases that really worked for me were:

i saw the morn' light near his face curve
when dawn died in there.

when he tuned his flute
and woes of all village wives were whispered away;
away with soft dying notes.

it was a veil of pain, made of happy memories.
Very nicely done. :)

[blazeofglory]

Unmatched. Of course this is a beauty. I got absorbed in it the way you put an idea giving it a good image.
Life is exactly like that we are all in the same eddy. Here the old man no matter what circumstances have circumscribed him he kind of transcended limits and reached a stage at which all physical pains, even the fact that he is getting older and older he is not less livelier.

This poem mirrors something I read in a story called a family by Maupassant wherein there is a character who is very old and yet there was vitality and of course a great desire to live.

Man is a very amazing creature. Notwithstanding the fact that he is going to die very soon and that death is at the threshold of his life he still does not want to part with things as if he has a very long life.

Indeed this poem is beautiful.

[ahsiam]

This reminds me of an old song by Genesis called, Lonely Man On The Corner. The song is nice.

its nice to hear jon that my poem reminded you of a nice song. i will try to get the song as soon as i can. thanks. :)

[ahsiam]

ahsiam, your words enrapt me, what a lovely poem. Some phrases that really worked for me were:



Very nicely done. :)


thank you kiz. :D i am so glad you liked it.:D

[ahsiam]

Unmatched. Of course this is a beauty. I got absorbed in it the way you put an idea giving it a good image.
Life is exactly like that we are all in the same eddy. Here the old man no matter what circumstances have circumscribed him he kind of transcended limits and reached a stage at which all physical pains, even the fact that he is getting older and older he is not less livelier.

This poem mirrors something I read in a story called a family by Maupassant wherein there is a character who is very old and yet there was vitality and of course a great desire to live.

Man is a very amazing creature. Notwithstanding the fact that he is going to die very soon and that death is at the threshold of his life he still does not want to part with things as if he has a very long life.

Indeed this poem is beautiful.

thanks for your precious comment. well... weeks ago i saw a picture of an old man smiling, in a newspaper. thats what i wrote. its good to know i am improving.:D

[symphony]

Okay so u need an explanation. :p

This one reminded me of someone. Didnt give me a face, but i am sure i see the silhouette. A person i can here the laugh of, feel the sighs of, but cant touch... It was like i've never seen him or known him personally, and still i know who he is. A stranger i know well.

Okay am i starting to sound cracked? See what happens when u tell me to explain my feelings about something! :p

[ahsiam]

thanks for explanation. and you dont sound cracked you are already cracked.:lol:

[ampoule]

I really love this poem ahsiam. You got my attention from the very beginning with just the title alone. I loved 'when he possessed the world and his days' and the way you see his lively life of the past in his smile. I would think this would make many an old man very happy, to know that someone, anyone, was watching him so closely.

[symphony]

thanks for explanation. and you dont sound cracked you are already cracked.:lol:
:rolleyes:

[ahsiam]

I really love this poem ahsiam. You got my attention from the very beginning with just the title alone.


:D thanks ampoule.:D
i was very tensed about the title. its a relief to know its ok.


I loved 'when he possessed the world and his days' and the way you see his lively life of the past in his smile. I would think this would make many an old man very happy, to know that someone, anyone, was watching him so closely.

i didnt think in this way. so i can make old people happy. wow!:lol:
thanks for a nice comment. it will be an inspiration for my next poem. :)

[ahsiam]

:rolleyes:

hey dont be like that.you see we are all cracked. you are a little much but that doesnt matter.:lol: