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View Full Version : "Steaming" by Rojan Zét



PrinceMyshkin
02-01-2008, 09:55 AM
Steaming

I have joined that fleet of steamships sailing onward through the
night, trailing fumes of ghostly vapour blowing incense in low light
and softly sending heavenward from fire down below in a
just-commissioned wood-stove where the mill-ends burn and glow.

Day and night we all are sailing down this valley we call home,
heading eastward or to westward, at the whim of wind and foam.
Smoke is streaming from our chimneys drifting downwind from the stack.
We are steaming, we are going where there is no turning back.

With no way on, never steering, all together we remain in
strict formation standing on a course-line with no gain.
And with stars above to guide us and the landscape to avoid,
we're not moving, we're just blowing chimney smoke where we are buoyed.

Almost every house around me sitting silent on the ground has
protruding from its upper floor one standing tall and round -
above the roof a smokestack gently wafting from its top, a
feathery plume of mist into the air, that does not stop. And

if the breeze should shift its course, the trails of all around
will find a way to stream again from these stacks run aground.
All that changes is the wind, the houses do not move, for
they are built on solid ground and tied into a groove that

does not shift or tolerate a lessening of space, no difference
of effort wins or loses in this race. We all are neighbours
steaming in our own peculiar way and the night is just a witness
to our smoke that blows away.





Rojan Zét

PrinceMyshkin
02-01-2008, 10:15 AM
Note that this has been moved to "Poem, Poets & Poetry"

symphony
02-01-2008, 10:26 AM
Both the opening and closing lines are terrific. The first line made sure i read the whole thing, the last line said it was worth it.
I liked the rhyme pattern too, it was easy going and enjoyable. But at certain places (i'm afraid i dont know why) i thought it made the main theme sound lighter than it should sound. Then again at others, ur line breaks set the attention away from the rhymed words, for which i am actually thankful. And let me say i loved ur line breaks more than i liked the rhymings.
Thank u.


Edit:
Oh i didnt realize this wasnt yours. My apologies.

Logos
02-01-2008, 11:23 AM
Note that this has been moved to "Poem, Poets & Poetry"

Yes, moved from the Personal Poetry Forum because it is not *your* personal poem.
http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?p=519411

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TheFifthElement
02-01-2008, 02:12 PM
Yes, this is very lovely and lyrical. It reminds me of Yeats, for some reason.

JBI
02-01-2008, 03:48 PM
Geez long lines are jarring at first.