Aiden James and Becca

[Jester]

He cries, his breath quaking in the air.
Nothing has ever been so sweet to his parents’ ears
nothing ever will be again
They have waited for that cry for nine months.
They waited in pain and in love
And when that first breath gives life and when he howls
We all let out a sigh a relief and know that he is all right.
And we know
Her life has been changed, now he is her life,
Her burden and her blessing

She cries silently,
tears in her eyes,
tears down her face,
tears in her pillow and on the ground
Her infant wails until he rests in her open arms
Together they will be connected for all time
for he is his mother’s son
She has waited to hold him, to teach him, to love him



I wrote this about my cousins home birth which i was fortunate enough to witness...

[Jester]

hey seriously tell me what you think, i know its not perfect, for instance i think i need to chang ethe title, any ideas?

[amuse]

why would you change the title?

how lucky you were to see him arrive. :) :) :)

sometimes i need to ruminate before replying to poems, maybe that's what's going on with (the lack of) responses...

[Jester]

thanks, well i guess ith the title its just, I'm not sure, but too personal but then its is a very personal poem, oh well... most likely will leave for lack of anything better.

[amuse]

well, if you want a raw, naked poem (no pun intended, seeing as the little one was rather undressed) leave it personal. but if you'd rather dress it...

the whole image of her crying, like too choked to make a sound, loving tears falling from her face - this makes your poem. the ending itself sounds newborn.

[Helga]

The title is great, I don't think you should change it. The title is what draws you to the poem and this one does. but I think it's better when I think of it as your excperience and I think that is important information.

It must be very great to witness a miracle, (and not feel the pain) and I think it's very sweet of you to write this poem about that excperience!