"Hogging Ground"

[AuntShecky]

Hogging Ground

How mean is Winter, what a miser with his light,
received so desperately, as when a desert gets rare rain.
So furry figures of folklore are forever held in doubt.
A glimpse, through a seasonally neglected pane:
pink and purple streaks alleged that Spring might come again,
and with it marched in strangers, creatures seldom seen:
possibilities of hope for other things, things of green,
blue skies, brightness, perhaps a hint of love–- the sun was out!
The next day’s dank clouds and winds waged another bout
which fought to freeze – - or melt – - the optimism of one
who'd seen and been fooled by the February sun.

All Rights Reserved.

[Anza]

I really like it

[PrinceMyshkin]

Surely it's time to reconsider the value of alliteration? It ought to be used sparingly, I believe (unless for comic effect), to lend emphasis where needed. It was unobjectionable (because not blatant) in the first two lines, but when I came to:



So furry figures of folklore are forever held in doubt.


I fairly freaked out at the fulsomeness of this!

[firefangled]

Hogging Ground

How mean is Winter, what a miser with his light,
received so desperately, as when a desert gets rare rain.
So furry figures of folklore are forever held in doubt.
A glimpse, through a seasonally neglected pane:
pink and purple streaks alleged that Spring might come again,
and with it marched in strangers, creatures seldom seen:
possibilities of hope for other things, things of green,
blue skies, brightness, perhaps a hint of love–- the sun was out!
The next day’s dank clouds and winds waged another bout
which fought to freeze – - or melt – - the optimism of one
who'd seen and been fooled by the February sun.

All Rights Reserved.

Very well done, Auntie! That day always frustrated me when I lived up North.

[firefangled]

Surely it's time to reconsider the value of alliteration? It ought to be used sparingly, I believe (unless for comic effect), to lend emphasis where needed. It was unobjectionable (because not blatant) in the first two lines, but when I came to:



I fairly freaked out at the fulsomeness of this!

This seemed appropriate as it expressed carrying folklore through its ages, the expression of forward motion being one of the uses of aliteration as in the Rime of the Ancient Mariner - the final surge of the ship before the sails drop down in the calm.

"The fair breeze blew, the white foam flew,
The furrow followed free ;
We were the first that ever burst
Into that silent sea.

[kiz_paws]

Such a few lines pack such a punch, Aunty. I loved your poem for its sentiment, its cheeky approach (the title, for one example, ha ha!), and a few lines that really hit home
So furry figures of folklore are forever held in doubtbeautiful, I love it


Spring might come again,
and with it marched in strangers, creatures seldom seen:yes indeed - seldom ;)

which fought to freeze – - or melt – - the optimism of oneI liked the way you put it, Aunty.

Great poem. :thumbs_up

[Virgil]

I didn't mind the alliteration. It is a tongue in cheek poem. At first I thought it was a sonnet. But it's three lines short. Would you consider working it into a sonnet?

[AuntShecky]

Thanks to all for reading and commenting on my little ditty.
Auntie

[Pendragon]

It was indeed a wonderful poem, but would you consider a larger size print?

Hogging Ground

How mean is Winter, what a miser with his light,
received so desperately, as when a desert gets rare rain.
So furry figures of folklore are forever held in doubt.
A glimpse, through a seasonally neglected pane:
pink and purple streaks alleged that Spring might come again,
and with it marched in strangers, creatures seldom seen:
possibilities of hope for other things, things of green,
blue skies, brightness, perhaps a hint of love–- the sun was out!
The next day’s dank clouds and winds waged another bout
which fought to freeze – - or melt – - the optimism of one
who'd seen and been fooled by the February sun.Hogging Ground

All Right Reserved

[jon1jt]

Aunty, you're killing me with this itty bitty font, whoo. :) Well, I managed despite---overall, I like it. The last three lines seal it. I like L4/5, but I don't really get strangers/creatures.' The first four lines say very little, which weighs down some. And the use of alliteration in L3 creates a bit of a brain twister. Having said that, I know magic when I read it. There is something Rimbaudesque about the piece, so naturally stated. Take the use of the exclamation point on the simple idea


the sun was out!