a Sorta Question

[summermemory]

I am working on a piece I'd rather not make public at the moment

I accidentally did something, and I like it. (Regarding syllables). Now I'm working more on the poem, and I'm stuck. I know the message I'd like to convey. I know what I'm working towards. I know what I want to say, but not how to make it fit the form of the poem.

Would someone be willing to look over what I have so far, and maybe give me some pointers? I hate writer's block.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Sure, I'll look at it if you like.

[Anza]

I would be more than willing!
*Pick me! Pick me!*

[summermemory]

Thank you! I've sent it to both of you, as multiple points of view would be appreciated. :)