I Met A Prostitute In Bangkok

[jon1jt]

I met a prostitute in Bangkok

[Virgil]

Except for this, "bestest wh***house in Bangkok," which is kind of old schtick, I think the poem is pretty good. I don't know if there are any memorable lines (except perhaps for these: "Prostitutes never laugh in America./Do they even have prostitutes in London?":p ), but the story line held me. I like it. It adds to your opus. :)

[PabloQ]

I'm in agreement with Virgil. The first stanza is wonderfully charming image. If you skipped from the end of the first stanza to the line about prostitutes in America, leave out the London part and keep the end, it's strong and vivid.

[kiz_paws]

I liked the carefree style of the poem, the phrase:
She kept saying,
You come to Mona
Lisa, bestest wh***house in Bangkok.worked with the poem overall, I'd not change anything there.
The ending made me smile -- the end to which she was likely hoping for, n'est pas? http://i151.photobucket.com/albums/s122/kiz_paws/Smilies/smileybeatnik.gif

[blazeofglory]

Indeed the poem is really moving and of course you have written how people take prostitutions differently in different countries.

[TheFifthElement]

I love the mixed images in this, I'm not quite entirely sure how the writer feels about this prostitute because of:


I held her wine glass until she was finished
snorting.
and this:

She was lovely;
laughed, listened.
and you end up here:

At one point she placed her hand on my neck,
or my shoulder--
a drink in my hand,
I don’t remember.

which is lovely.

I'm a bit torn about this line:


You come to Mona
Lisa, bestest wh***house in Bangkok.

which brings to mind the movie The best little whorehouse in Texas which then makes me think of your little Thai lady in a blonde curly wig and giant XXX's! Perhaps if you used the Thai word for brothel it would work better?

Oh, and there are prostitutes in London ;)

[Sweets America]

I was not fond of the first stanza, I liked the second one better, and I absolutely loved the last one.:) This change of feeling throughout the poem was interesting for me. However, I felt in this poem something of the tone of your last poem about Miss Dalloway, a tone that had not absolutely appealed to me. I think however that this was a nice poem even if it's not my favorite of yours.

[symphony]

Perhaps its the title that reminded me of Ozymandias. Funny how the stranger traveller spoke to Shelley of a "Colossal Wreck", like the stranger prostitute spoke to u of a brothel, no less a Colossal Wreck!
Nice one, any way u see it. :)

[Nossa]

^^ That's a quiet far-fetched comparison, but coming to think of it, I think that is does resemble Ozymandias to a certain extent.

[firefangled]

I like the soul in this and the way the story is told from the inside out, as if the writer is still there, perhaps just coming out of the trance or inebriation he was in.

As many of your poems, this possesses a nonchalance that adds to its authentication. We have no doubt your poems are true, even when they are metaphors, they are not just stories, even if they are just stories. This is achievable only by the way (not only that) details are included, which you do very well.

[AuntShecky]

One does hope that the statement that American prostitutes don't laugh stems from speculation or indirect research and not personal experience. And for some reason the notion that there aren't any such working women in London made me think of Jack the Ripper!

Your piece, nevertheless, sets up an intriguing scenario.

[jon1jt]

Kiz/Fifth, thanks. You both mentioned the carefree, mixed imagery--that's it. I suppose deleting x-number of lines could make the image more vivid, as Pablo suggests, but what's there is already scaled down, wrung of poetic profundity, in the sense of strain to sound poetical. Thank u Pablo for kind comments. Sweets, you point out the unappealing tone---it's a turn my poetry writing is taking and I'm jazzed up to see where it takes me. I'll post some old stuff maybe you'll like better. Thanks.

Symph/Nossa: I don't quite get the connection you made between this and Ozymandias, which I've read before, but thanks anyway. :) It reminds me of what poet Gregory Corso said once about poets: there are three levels of writing ability: the 3rd level is talent, the 2nd is genius, the 1st level is Divine. Shelley ran with beauty and walked with angels, his poetry is divine, he's one of my favorite. :)

Fire, that sums it up wonderfully, thanks. The nonchalance is likely to be either appreciated or classified as prose poetry--a euphemism used by poets for poetry poorly done. Glad you like it.

Sheck: lol! Um,well...let me say I don't fancy prostitutes, but I've never passed up a conversation with one at a party either. Prostitutes are people too. :)

[ForzaSugar]

Except for this, "bestest wh***house in Bangkok," which is kind of old schtick, I think the poem is pretty good.

It's "whitehouse in Bangkok" Virgil.

I didn't like the poem.

[jon1jt]

I didn't like the poem.


And I like this poem, we're even! :p Thanks for dropping by and reading, forza.

[kiz_paws]

It's "whitehouse in Bangkok" Virgil.

I didn't like the poem.Are you going to tell us why? It is kind of rude to enter a thread and not add something constructive to the conversation. So, I ask you, what was it about this poem that got your shorts in a knot?

[ForzaSugar]

Are you going to tell us why? It is kind of rude to enter a thread and not add something constructive to the conversation. So, I ask you, what was it about this poem that got your shorts in a knot?

And if i explain why then it would be rude because "nobody here claims to be a professional poet"...

Ok anyway... I didn't like the poem because there is nothing special about this poem. I can't see anything different or beatiful. So simple and straightforward (sometimes you can find beauty in the most simple poem or even in a couplet, but that's a different kind of simplicity). And doesn't even have a point also i smell forced/fake emotionality in the poem. Of course i may be wrong, but that's what i think.

[Sweets America]

Sweets, you point out the unappealing tone---it's a turn my poetry writing is taking and I'm jazzed up to see where it takes me. I'll post some old stuff maybe you'll like better. Thanks.

That is interesting, what you say here, that this new tone is a new turn in your poetry. I encourage you to explore it.:) I don't want to reduce your poems to this unappealing tone anyway because it would be too easy, and maybe it's too simple for me to feel that you/your speaker brags about his encounters with women. This is why I try to see someting more in your poems, and there are actually lines that I like very much in them. I'm sure there is more than this tone in your poems.

But yes, you are right, as far as my taste is concerned, I really love your older poems more. I have to read your new poems several times to appreciate them while I was really struck by some of your older ones at first sight. But anyway, this is not necessarily a sign of quality either because sometimes the reader has to make an effort to appreciate things, and it's always interesting to go beyond what seems unappealing at first sight and to be rewared after the effort.:)

[blp]

:rolleyes: yes, they have prostitutes in London. Why would the current capitol of capitalism be immune to the word's oldest profession? They used to advertise as photographic models in Soho. Now it's all media agencies; a different kind of whoredom and a different kind of lying, though not at least they now deliver on the promised photographic product.

Sorry, Jon, but I can't really see that this amounts to much.

[jon1jt]

That is interesting, what you say here, that this new tone is a new turn in your poetry. I encourage you to explore it.:) I don't want to reduce your poems to this unappealing tone anyway because it would be too easy, and maybe it's too simple for me to feel that you/your speaker brags about his encounters with women. This is why I try to see someting more in your poems, and there are actually lines that I like very much in them. I'm sure there is more than this tone in your poems.

But yes, you are right, as far as my taste is concerned, I really love your older poems more. I have to read your new poems several times to appreciate them while I was really struck by some of your older ones at first sight. But anyway, this is not necessarily a sign of quality either because sometimes the reader has to make an effort to appreciate things, and it's always interesting to go beyond what seems unappealing at first sight and to be rewared after the effort.:)

You're very open-minded, Sweets. I'm sure it will open up new passages of thought along the way. Glad you're reading---the old, new, it all comes from the same place. Thanks. :)



:rolleyes: yes, they have prostitutes in London. Why would the current capitol of capitalism be immune to the word's oldest profession? They used to advertise as photographic models in Soho. Now it's all media agencies; a different kind of whoredom and a different kind of lying, though not at least they now deliver on the promised photographic product.

Yeah it's to be taken tongue in cheek, surely prostitutes loom, but that line popped into my head that way, so there you have it.

I didn't know how streamlined prostitution has become, wow. It was a pretty wild sight to witness New York City at its pinnacle of street prostitution in the 70s and 80s, I'm sure London was the same those days and changed with it. Even prostitution is trendy, huh?




Sorry, Jon, but I can't really see that this amounts to much.

Oh not to be sorry, blp, you're very kind---to be so honest is often a difficult thing. Thanks.

[Virgil]

I didn't know how streamlined prostitution has become, wow. It was a pretty wild sight to witness New York City at its pinnacle of street prostitution in the 70s and 80s, I'm sure London was the same those days and changed with it. Even prostitution is trendy, huh?

Ah yes how different New York City is now. Today alas I'm in mourning for Rudy Giuliani. Now I have no idea how to vote.

[jon1jt]

Ah yes how different New York City is now. Today alas I'm in mourning for Rudy Giuliani. Now I have no idea how to vote.

This primary has proven to me how out of touch Americans are about politics. How they failed to comprehend Giuliani's record stemming back to his early days as a NYC District Attorney and the fights against organized crime he waged and won---and all he did for NYC along the way---with his lose in Florida, I vow never to vote in a political election again.

[Virgil]

This primary has proven to me how out of touch Americans are about politics. How they failed to comprehend Giuliani's record stemming back to his early days as a NYC District Attorney and the fights against organized crime he waged and won---and all he did for NYC along the way---with his lose in Florida, I vow never to vote in a political election again.

I know, I know, I know. :bawling: :bawling:

[Logos]

no current politics!

[jon1jt]

no current politics!

Oops, good point, I forgot, sorry about that, Logos. What am I saying, it's Virgil's fault! :p

[Virgil]

Oops, good point, I forgot, sorry about that, Logos. What am I saying, it's Virgil's fault! :p

:D Sorry.