Chasing Dreams

[Angel Moonrise]

I REMEMBER

I remember…
Your touch, your lips, your kiss
I remember…
Your caress and your never-ending embrace
I remember and I yearn…

I yearn…
For your stunning smile and gorgeous face
I yearn…
To hear you speak and laugh
I yearn and I hope…

I hope…
For your forgiveness for all my wrongs
I hope...
To feel your presence once more close to mine
I hope and I continue to love…

I left that day;
Left my heart, my soul behind
Never letting you know how I truly felt
How stunning and gorgeous you are
A diamond, a jewel, and the tattoo on my heart

I write this poem
To let you know never to doubt
I loved you, and still do, in fact…
I write this poem
To tell you
That the little things you do
Makes me smile, and fall for you each time
To tell you
I remember, I yearn and I continue to hope…

[Angel Moonrise]

BELOVED

Beloved, I weep at the lost.
The loss of innocence;
The loss of truth and dignity.
I weep for you;
For what could have been
But what became

I watched the wind blow away the dust
And listened as they recited
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
I wish I could help
I wish I could change the plan

I attempt to steer clear
Away from all the sorrow
Away from your pain
Yet, as I gather my thoughts and prayer,
I cannot help but weep for you.

[Angel Moonrise]

CHASING DREAMS

I chase the dream of hope
Hope for a world of safety and prosperity
A world without the crimson flow of blood.
And I dream of more…
More than this destruction and ache we hold.
I dream of more…
More than the fear of what the dawn might bring tomorrow…

I chase the dream of passion,
Of the one true love and romance.
I dream of self-fulfillment;
Of far away lands where rainforests
And never ending seas exist.

I dare to dream
That there’s more than what we perceive;
That hate and venom will one day perish.
I dare to hope that we’ll consume, devour and squander
Through the adversity of yonder.
I ponder, contemplate and meditate
On these dreams that dodge, elude, and evade my grasp
I await and hope for the day
When the dreams that lie in my mind shall be conquered.
I await and hope for the day
When fantasy will one day turn into our reality

[blazeofglory]

It is really beautiful and it kind of gives something about how you feel about your love. Does it come out of your real experiences or just imagined? Whatever the source of it the poem is really deep and profound.

[PrinceMyshkin]

The poems in 2 & 3 I thought were superior to 1. 1 contained language & references that were all too familiar and words like "stunning" and "gorgeous" that really have no particular emotional content other than wow!.

But in 2 & 3 your feelings are expressed in clean, strong language that feels more spontaneous & more sincere. Allow yourself the pleasure of creating poems that are interesting as artifacts as well as expressions of raw feeling.

[jon1jt]

I think you've managed 15 Hallmark Cards out of this one. Tweet. :)

[blazeofglory]

BELOVED

Beloved, I weep at the lost.
The loss of innocence;
The loss of truth and dignity.



This piece is indeed very moving, I find a great many things condensed in this. And the spiritual appealing of it is immeasurable and timeless. This piece can integrate great ranges of philosophical thoughts and I of course got totally immersed in thought with this reading.

The poem is indeed penetrating



CHASING DREAMS

I dream of more…
More than the fear of what the dawn might bring tomorrow…



This is indeed a matchless piece and of course has something to say that deepens our ranges of imagination.

Here reality quotients are timeless and it speaks of something of permanence and the reality we all have to undergo. The beauty of it is that notwithstanding everything that will happen we will not stop dreaming. I think that is what the poet has to say. Or if it is something different, please explain,


T all too familiar and words like "stunning" and "gorgeous" that really have no particular emotional content other than wow!.

.

Yet through some familiar words and phrases the unfamiliar and unusual find expressions. This is the beauty of the poem.

[browneyedbailey]

oooooooh. Inspiring. Reminds me of the (once more) the "Twilight" serreis how Bella feels about Edward.

[Angel Moonrise]

Hi everyone,
Thanks to all who have sent me a feedback, I greatly appreciate it.
This poem actually comes out of real experience. It may be too much at times but it reflects more or less what I was feeling.
I also think that "beloved" and "chasing dreams" are a lot better written than the first poem.
I will be posting a few other poems..any input will be greatly appreciated (even negative ones lool...)
Take care xoxox

[dramasnot6]

I really like "I remember". It captured a lot of passion.

[symphony]

Isnt it a bit too hallmarky though?
Poems can, of course, be an excellent way to express passion. The problem is, when what ur saying contains too much of passionate but banal words and expressions, the addressee rolls his/her eyes and starts thinking otherwise, unless he/she knows better already...

But anyway, nice ones overall. I liked the "ashes to ashes" line in the 2nd one. And welcome to LitNet, Moonrise. :)

[AuntShecky]

I must say that I agree with the previous posting by Symphony and also the one by Jon, a little farther up the page.

We (note the first person plural, including yours truly) often forget that in many instances of "self-expression," there may be a bit too much of the former and not enough of the latter. On the other hand, young folks who undergo a common ordinary experience, such as love or the loss of same, might actually feel that such an occurrence is unique to her.

And when it comes time to "write it down," the result may seem to the reader as "banal" or rife with clichés. The clichés might actually seem new and original to the young person!

There is nothing wrong with wanting to write verse; the problem comes from not being adequately prepared to create a piece that is ready for prime time or appropriate for public consumption.

The way to counteract banality, lack of originality, shopworn expression is by reading. Read athousand poems from the canon of the same number of years. The more one reads, the more one knows, and thus is better prepared to attempt to write a verse that will resonate with a reader.

Also, it might be wise to brush up on the various poetic techniques.

You may take this advice with the proverbial grain of salt, but I must add that this opinion is the result of several decades of reading and studying.

Sincerely,
Aunt Shecky

[Angel Moonrise]

Thank you to both Aunt Shecky and Symphony for your comments.
I'm quite new at writing poetry so I appreciate all comments, I will be reading and improving my poetry