Negative Doings

[The1TheOnlyJP]

I refuse to watch television, the commercials will dissolve my brain.
I don't eat, the cholesterol would give me a heart attack.
If I sleep, the monsters will get me
I won't laugh, nothing is funny.
I'm not smoking, my right lung is damaged.
I can't have sex, I might catch an STD.
I refuse to dance, I could pop a hip.
I don't drive, I don't know how to.
If I listen to music, the melodies will cause me to go deaf.
I won't read a book, the words only make fun of me.
I'm not running away, there's nowhere to go.
I can't love, my heart will be broken.

[dibyendra]

Oh I'm overwhelmed by this poem.

These lines are strong in your poem. These lines give a sudden jerk and burst sudden emotion.


I won't laugh, nothing is funny.

won't read a book, the words only make fun of me.

[B-Mental]

so you won't take a chance...too bad, music, laughter, won't eat, won't smile...the thing about dance is it is to fun...

You need to take a chance or you will probably die miserable...you made heaven into hell...sorry to hear that.

[PrinceMyshkin]

This is (I hope) no more than the exposition of a particular mood or persona. We all have those, thoughts, fantasies that we don't really intend to act on but which feel as if they are potentialities of our selves.

[ampoule]

sending positive doings your way, JP

[Anza]

Very nice set up. The reader sees absurdity in not doing all the previous things, and then you hit the last line "I can't love, my heart will be broken," and it's slap-in-the-face-reality. Everyone's said that at some point, and nobody realizes that it belongs in the same category as not sleeping, or eating, or laughing. No one realizes that love is as necessary a thing as all the others. Bravo.

[blazeofglory]

I refuse to watch television, the commercials will dissolve my brain.
I don't eat, the cholesterol would give me a heart attack.
If I sleep, the monsters will get me
I won't laugh, nothing is funny.
I'm not smoking, my right lung is damaged.
I can't have sex, I might catch an STD.
I refuse to dance, I could pop a hip.
I don't drive, I don't know how to.
If I listen to music, the melodies will cause me to go deaf.
I won't read a book, the words only make fun of me.
I'm not running away, there's nowhere to go.
I can't love, my heart will be broken.

A beautiful expression of the darker side of life.