a haiku by I. Joane Trojansek

[alakungfu]

Snow circles its way

gently around sagging trees

at dawn...all is new.

[alakungfu]

Every stem off o' the green

Breathes a dying breath away,

Every blade adrift and mean

Loses force at last of day.

What the stakes portend anew

Worries sooths and sayers all;

When our fondest hopes we sue

Our sole wish ebbs there where we fall.

[alakungfu]

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings

Or that you'd imagine dirty dealings.

From now on let's fix a cap

On exchanges that are off the map.

You have limits, don't we all.

My funds, as they are, are all on call.

I hope you accept my fond regrets

And accrue them amid other wan assets

Like stays of chastisement and bills of faire

And what amounts to a truce trace rare.

What I really want to say

Is yes, a mistake I may have made

And I'll atone for it 'til the hurt will fade

Or pay the price, come what may.

[PrinceMyshkin]

It's a somewhat awkward poem in that the sincerity of what you say is constantly at war with your need to complete each rhyming couplet.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Snow circles its way

gently around sagging trees

at dawn...all is new.

Are you I. Joane? The main thing though is that this so nicely fulfills the requirements of the haiku, not merely in the syllable count but in the uplift of the final line.

[alakungfu]

To each his own,

Light yield,

Thrown scantily

Fur afield,

Narry so frigid,

Robust as gaunt,

The bust in theatre.

Drum, atnosphere's haunt!

The flame does stay,

The tear dries at the root,

The fire arrays

A primal likeness of soot.

The ideals fail,

The fever fades.

The station shifts -

The palazzo shades.

And the molten mass,

A puzzled deck of glass

Gleams in glossy strand

From some neighbouring land.

[alakungfu]

In original condition,

a rousing rendition:

"Refutation Abolition",

in control of the lightning's spread.

The rumour mill tumbles

as self-interest jumbles,

the PR Rep only mumbles

what the stars supposedly said.

The media richochets

sources and info pays.

Stories' fees measure up in days,

the better the press agent.

Sums tally up and down,

Accounting receipts abound,

Seasoned players stake renown,

All revolve in the pageant.

Hand-picked critics review

but the caste they imbue

chases the rhetoric due

away by argumentative comments;

It's a dog-gone shame

there's no truth in a name

and the star landscape's the same

as the horizon, for all the world-wise' incense.

[alakungfu]

Prestige

illuminates

the tensest of selves

and

predicates

the demise of the agent

that delves

through the latents

of substance

as to the seething, rutted core,

repeats frivolity inwards

to then depose and sever more

the affidavit

from the minister.

Seethes the treacle

that feeds the sinister.

Breaks the trust

that frees the just's

trite form,

the rustic'

supper crust.

[alakungfu]

A baby can cry.

A baby doesn't.

A murder is solved.

A charge is dismissed.

If it happens once,

it can be repeated

if the circumstances

concur,

according to the judgments

and conclusions

of the redressed

confessor

seated behind

a public bench,

lost in allusion,

yet, as per challenge,

never captured in thought.

[alakungfu]

When God broke the news in Adam's ear

That he and Eve had naught smote in fear

But Satan's collar wrapped to apprehend,

And so must they to the world descend,

Adam stopped in stupor, then pitted both

Human legs to plight his troth.

Beside his bride he succoured her frame

Then addressed his saviour close by name,

"Good Father," he said, "Are we to understand,

There be no man living in the land

But me and my lonely bride,

Close since drawn from my side,

Promised this garden for aught to last,

Now childless we to a meadow cast!

Have pity for your redolent peers

Who face a future filled with years

Deprived of all the gifts we cherish

Left now to fall asunder and perish

In the meanest straits of Earth

and have one blunder be our berth."

God heeded all and turned away.

"You were warned and now you"ll stray."

The scene grew dark and the couple saw

A field of stars; where the bowers, a lion's paw.

[alakungfu]

The boat came near to dock one day.

All hands by now were on one another.

If they would survive in time some way,

Noah had to save the brothers.


He called on his doves to guide him, and he'd say

"I have need of my fair and rude lovers.

I must find the path that will secure me a bay

Where I can soon deboard and govern."


The doves led him to a resplendent beach

Filled with a tisane of fragrant low trees

And Noah for their trouble held to one of peach

And there put for them a house filled up with grains and seeds.


He called his wife and they plucked fruits and flower

And she dried them in the steaming sun.

Their days were brightened by a tea-trimmed bower

and incentives for restorations were anon.


Noah would offer a serving for saving

The pining animals from running away

And spoiling the feed casks, or braving

The hot decks and washing them as to be paid


Very soon the crew had adjusted in routine

And Noah had acquired his business on the side,

A carpenter, a captain and a connoisseur of scene

In a picaresque inlet after a tragic betide.

[alakungfu]

Erroneous glitch,

felonious switch

stitched along

summa resinous pitch;

it breaches the mind -

trestles that bind -

finds the esoteric in signed

collected clocks that rewind.

A fault lies within

the most precious violin,

invading as a pretense,

a modelled figured sequin.

But the tone is the richer

for the internecine flaw hitcher

which her timbre vibrates nicely

and her soloes so lovely feature.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I love your wit and the sense of joyful play in this.

[Virgil]

I enjoyed it too.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Lovely, the way you play with the half-rhymes!

[PrinceMyshkin]

What a glorious romp - but I'm afraid I didn't understand the last line, damnit!

[PrinceMyshkin]

What an extraordinary day you must be having, with this diversity of themes! (But surely you're going to run afoul of the rule restricting us to one new thread per day?)

Here again I was amused by the light-fingered procession of your lines.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I especially loved the lines



as to the seething, rutted core,

and



the rustic'

supper crust.

[Logos]

merged, please read :)
http://www.online-literature.com/forums/showthread.php?t=21394

--

[B-Mental]

So are you Alabama Chop~Suey: or are you HongKong Alasaska Tutti Frutti!

[blazeofglory]

Snow circles its way

gently around sagging trees

at dawn...all is new.

Of course this is so short but embeds greater thoughts\, richer and grandeurer of course. That is the beauty of yours.

[alakungfu]

This is a revision of the firstpoem I ever wrote in 1974. I wrote it in haiku form, had it changed because it didn't fulill the requirements exactly, then rewrote it in haiku the way I liked it.

[alakungfu]

I'm a French person learning self-discipline.

[alakungfu]

Sorry I overposted. I just joined yesterday I was referred by Francisco Cruz, who submitted a poem that was to have been published in book form under the title "Immortal Verses". His poem is called Martyrology. I don't know if you have any connection to book publishers, but perhaps you'd be in a position to let me know if my friend's work has "made it."

[alakungfu]

To tell you the truth, it was more the thought that counted than the format with this one. When it was done, the kernel of sincerity wasn't buried by the sheer amount of poetry.

[blazeofglory]

Compact and condensed. You have said much in a few words.