Corporate woes

[dibyendra]

Reaching higher is prideful but fitting to the mould of isolation is daring.
Ego is a poison that infects the circle. Bondings turn bruised and yellow.
Misconceptions deform intimacy and intrigue conspiracies.
Aspiring the perfection in the team causes thoughts to collide.
Bubbles of discontentment rise to the top. Let the big bubble burst first or don't let the bubble remain there any more.
If our sins get washed away by confessing them in the holy places, I'm clean enough.
Childhood, although having juvenile behaviours, they were so pure, innocent, playful, and innocuous.
Education matured our thoughts and naiveness are lost.
How true, ignorance is bliss.

Third attempt
==================

Corporate woes

Reaching higher is prideful but fitting to the mould of isolation is daring.
Ego is a poison that infects the circle. Bonds turn bruised and yellow.
Misconceptions deform intimacy and intrigue conspiracies.
Aspiring for perfection in the team causes thoughts to collide.
Bubbles of discontentment rise to the top.
Let the big bubble burst first, or don't let bubbles remain there any more.
To see everyone gratified is an ideal thought. Reality is different from what it seems.
If our sins get washed away by confessing them in the holy places, I'm clean enough.
Childhood, although having juvenile behaviours, they were so pure, innocent, playful, and innocuous.
Education matured our thoughts but naiveness is lost.
How true, ignorance is bliss.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Passionate and spiritually uplifting!

[dibyendra]

Thank you so much PrinceMyshkin for your comment.

[dibyendra]

My second attempt goes like this. I would be glad to get your views regarding this poem. Thank you.

Love, peace, and greetings.

Dibyendra

Corporate woes

Reaching higher is prideful but fitting to the mould of isolation is daring.
Ego is a poison that infects the circle.
Bondings turn bruised and yellow.
Misconceptions deform intimacy and intrigue conspiracies.
Aspiring the perfection in the team causes thoughts to collide.
Bubbles of discontentment rise to the top.
Let the big bubble burst first,
or don't let the bubble remain there any more.
There are no perfect rules
and same rule doesn't fit everywhere.
But, some said rules are meant to be broken.
How misunderstandings crack the relation
and how each of us break each others heart.
Every drops of tears curse each other
and sins tarnish each others heart.
It seemed worthless to make everyone happy.
If this is a corporate law, I've not committed any crime.
If our sins get washed away by confessing them in the holy places,
I'm clean enough.
Childhood, although having juvenile behaviours,
they were so pure, innocent, playful, and innocuous.
Education matured our thoughts but naiveness are lost.
Why ego and vanities have to clash all the time?
How true, ignorance is bliss.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I rather preferred the first version of it, which had a more rough, raw quality to it. Now it reads more like a sermon or a manifesto.

[dibyendra]

Thanks once again PrinceMyShkin for your views. I really appreciate your comment. Why I tried to elaborate is because many of my friends told the poem deviated from the topic in the middle. But, I liked your idea too. I like a raw feelings sometimes and want to leave everything up to the readers. Thank you once again. Let's see what other think about the updated version though.

Love,
Dibyendra

[dibyendra]

Finally, I preferred first one myself later. Elaborating much would lose the charm of it. Though, I added few lines in the middle, I sticked with the first version and agreed with idea of PrinceMyshkin. My third attempt consist only the additions of few lines into the first version.

Third attempt
==========

Reaching higher is prideful but fitting to the mould of isolation is daring.
Ego is a poison that infects the circle. Bonds turn bruised and yellow.
Misconceptions deform intimacy and intrigue conspiracies.
Aspiring for perfection in the team causes thoughts to collide.
Bubbles of discontentment rise to the top.
Let the big bubble burst first, or don't let bubbles remain there any more.
To see everyone gratified is an ideal thought. Reality is different from what it seems.
If our sins get washed away by confessing them in the holy places, I'm clean enough.
Childhood, although having juvenile behaviours, they were so pure, innocent, playful, and innocuous.
Education matured our thoughts but naiveness is lost.
How true, ignorance is bliss.

[Pendragon]

I like you third attempt. http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Angelstar.gif

[dibyendra]

I like you third attempt. http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Angelstar.gif

Thank you so much Pen for your view. Yes, I finally preferred my third attempt with some alteration in a first attempt though. :)