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The1TheOnlyJP
01-17-2008, 11:27 PM
My eyes heavy, body still, gaze high,
Going one by one they each fly by.
I can barely make them out here in my drowsy state,
One unveils the solution to world hunger resting on a plate.
Following behind within a beating drum is the cure for AIDS,
Then comes the meaning of life told by a blind man playing charades.
I extend my arm upward attempting to capture any of them,
Once more trying but only to fall short again and again.
I am too slumbersome and they are too fast,
No more remain as they all seemed to have passed.
The buzzing begins and realization floods my mind,
Cued by the sun, the time has come,
Morning has now arrived.

PrinceMyshkin
01-18-2008, 07:53 AM
My eyes heavy, body still, gaze high,
Going one by one they each fly by.
I can barely make them out here in my drowsy state,
One unveils the solution to world hunger resting on a plate.
Following behind within a beating drum is the cure for AIDS,
Then comes the meaning of life told by a blind man playing charades.
I extend my arm upward attempting to capture any of them,
Once more trying but only to fall short again and again.
I am too slumbersome and they are too fast,
No more remain as they all seemed to have passed.
The buzzing begins and realization floods my mind,
Cued by the sun, the time has come,
Morning has now arrived.

I admire the sentiments but also (to my surprise) the way you relinquished the rhyming couplets at the end for those three unrhymed lines - which seemed to close this off on a note of surrender or despair.

ampoule
01-18-2008, 08:59 AM
Very DREAMy. :) I have lost many a lofty thought upon waking.

PrinceMyshkin
01-18-2008, 11:10 AM
Very DREAMy. :) I have lost many a lofty thought upon waking.

Perhaps because of the somewhat less lofty thoughts you have then?