I run out of mind

[Sweets America]

I run out of mind, sometimes,
To find a way of tidying my disgust
About this species.

I’ve looked at them, on the screen,
Talking about the last presidential affair;
Laughing at their counterpart
While books remained unopened;
The important ones, at least.

What are they doing?

I am puzzled when I try
To rip off my skin
And feel nothing
Under the nail.
I guess we were already in decay
Before they had the chance to realize
We had a brain.
I need to get out now.
I need―

Two people is hardly enough
To turn your back against them,
He said.
But, when you put them on a whole pile,
It becomes far too much.

I wonder why I should care
About this torment which shakes and takes
My body in hostage.
I guess I will obey and

Apologize again.
One of my kind can never do it enough.
I try to look beyond,
And I see someone else,
Walking with hope in their gait.

How ridiculous we are!
Me? Him? The last one who made me cry?
It doesn’t matter.
In the end, I am simply one of them.

[kiz_paws]

There is a lot of despair in this poem ... Sometimes in writing we can pick our spirits up. I liked the way it read, Sweets. :thumbs_up

[jon1jt]

My first thought is it's too long---too long in the sense of considering the issue at hand. Hold on...I don't think it's a bad poem, I just think you can trim it some and not lose the message. Make sense? I'm lost at certain points: like take S2 for example. Are you suggesting that politicians spend too much time talking when they ought to be contemplating the great books? Because if you do I believe you. :)


Under the nail.
I guess we were already in decay
Before they had the chance to realize
We had a brain.
I need to get out now.
I need―

I'm lost. Who do you mean with "they?"

This part I like...it's earthy, I can hear you saying this:


I wonder why I should care
About this torment which shakes and takes
My body in hostage.
I guess I will obey and

Apologize again.
One of my kind can never do it enough.
I try to look beyond,
And I see someone else,
Walking with hope in their gait.


"I guess I will obey" Ahh, better to close our eyes and to follow the herd than to see the world in itself. So true, yes yes!


How ridiculous we are!
Me? Him? The last one who made me cry?
It doesn’t matter.
In the end, I am simply one of them.

You vocalize a psychological condition, it's serious and playful. Nice poem, overall, Sweets.

[Sweets America]

Thank you Kiz, for your nice comment.:) I am happy that you like it.

Jon, I am so glad that you responded to this! :)
I see what you mean about it being too long, my problem is that when I write a poem, I often want to put 'everything' in it, it feels like I want to put all of my ideas in one poem and I have trouble to decide what I should keep and what I should remove.


My first thought is it's too long---too long in the sense of considering the issue at hand. Hold on...I don't think it's a bad poem, I just think you can trim it some and not lose the message. Make sense? I'm lost at certain points: like take S2 for example. Are you suggesting that politicians spend too much time talking when they ought to be contemplating the great books? Because if you do I believe you. :)

About S2, I was actually talking about what is going on in France today. The president is having an 'affair' with a young actress and everyone on TV, in the news and on talk-shows, only talk about that! I just find it so preposterous! So ridiculous that people are more interested in the love life of the president than in his political programme. People make jokes about the president's affair and they spend their time on that. I wrote this line about the great books to contrast what humanity is doing with what it should do in my opinion.
In the meantime, the way you read it also makes sense since the president also plays with his love life and with the media, instead of doing more important things.


I'm lost. Who do you mean with "they?"

'They' meant humanity in general.:)
In this poem I tried to detach myself from 'them', but in the end I just realize I cannot do that because I am somehow just like them in a way.


This part I like...it's earthy, I can hear you saying this:

Thank you.


"I guess I will obey" Ahh, better to close our eyes and to follow the herd than to see the world in itself. So true, yes yes!

Yes, the 'I guess I will obey' meant 'I will close my eyes and follow, I will give up', and also 'I won't struggle against this anger I have because I'm just too tired to struggle anymore, so I'll just let anger nibble at my soul'.


You vocalize a psychological condition, it's serious and playful. Nice poem, overall, Sweets.

Thank you, Jon. :)

[muhsin]

Nice peice of work from Sweets! Thats really ampressive and well written. Wish I had capabilities of digesting poems...but yet I feel that one interesting.

[PrinceMyshkin]

It is hard for me to speak about this objectively, to speak about the form and aesthetics of it since I know how much pain lay behind the construction of it, but


I run out of mind, sometimes,

gets us off to a fine start in the degree of ambiguity it contains, i.e. that you exhaust your dispassionate intellectual ability to deal with the situation, and secondly that it drives you wild (out of your mind). The final line:



In the end, I am simply one of them.

Is a brave albeit despondent conclusion, reminiscent of the great last line of a poem by Baudelaire, where, after citing all the sins and follies that mankind is given to, he turns:



Toi - hypocrite lecteur - mon semblable, mon frere!

[Sweets America]

Thank you muhsin.:)

Prince, that is a very nice comment you wrote here. Yes, the 'I run out of mind' was meant to be ambiguous.
The reference to the great books was also intended to contrast with the books that are being written about the president's love life, and that find a lot of readers. That is just crazy.
That line by Baudelaire is so true and hopeless.

[ampoule]

I like your poem Sweets. I understand too. Think how we suffered hearing about Bill Clinton's escapades. The media, God bless their little pea pickin' souls, run our lives.
And I also think you are correct. Just by being a member of the human race makes us one of 'them', in differing degrees.

[ShadowID]

The fruit of an apple
tastes just as rotten
if you wish to eat
from rotten apples.

The best of us
is not the worst we can be
but, instead
from those we love.


I like your poem. :thumbs_up
It's sad you feel that way though.

[Sweets America]

Thanks ampoule. Yes, I see what you mean with Clinton. It is all so strange, this curiosity. Glad you liked my poem!:)

ShadowID, thank you too.:) Thanks for your addition.

[Pendragon]

Indeed we are a deluded species. We imagine ourselves to be "top of the food chain" when without our toys we would be poorly equiped to even survive here! No claws, poor teeth, no natural muscular training to run fast, jump high, etc. Small animals outrace our pounce. We might live on snakes, if we have enough sense to tell which ones are posion and then we are gonna freeze or starve in winter! Wow! Man! Master of the World! A joke! :lol:

[Sweets America]

Indeed we are a deluded species. We imagine ourselves to be "top of the food chain" when without our toys we would be poorly equiped to even survive here! No claws, poor teeth, no natural muscular training to run fast, jump high, etc. Small animals outrace our pounce. We might live on snakes, if we have enough sense to tell which ones are posion and then we are gonna freeze or starve in winter! Wow! Man! Master of the World! A joke! :lol:

Very interesting reply, Pen. :) I like the open-mindedness of it, it feels like a breath of fresh air after I heard some other arrogant things about our condition.
But...do you like my poem or not?:p

[Pendragon]

Very interesting reply, Pen. :) I like the open-mindedness of it, it feels like a breath of fresh air after I heard some other arrogant things about our condition.
But...do you like my poem or not?:pOh, yes, Sweets! I like your poem! I'm sorry, got carried away in that commentary, didn't I? I'm very sorry! Great poem! :thumbs_up :thumbs_up :thumbs_up

[Sweets America]

Oh, yes, Sweets! I like your poem! I'm sorry, got carried away in that commentary, didn't I? I'm very sorry! Great poem! :thumbs_up :thumbs_up :thumbs_up

:lol: No need to be sorry. :blush: Thank you!:lol:

[NikolaiI]

This one has a lot of depth and flows really well, and kind of catches it all together at the end.