Abuse...Justifiable or not?

[stephofthenight]

so, iv'e been thinking a lot.. and i was wondering what you guys thought about a "good reason" for hitting a girlfriend/wife??? is there ever a reason good enough. i know abused gfs or wifes tend to think they deserve it...but is there a good enough reason for abuse, can anything justfiy that? if so what?

[papayahed]

Hell No.

[Bakiryu]

there's no reason to abuse anyone, neither psychologically nor physically. for we tend to carry the scars of the abuse for as long as we live, both in body and soul.

The only reason to hurt someone is if you both agreed to participate on, oh you know, and even then, you should exercise caution.

There's no reason to hurt any living being if you can prevent it and people who do so should be punished severely.

[Jane Jane]

Unless that person is trying to end your life or harm someone else and you have to stop them, no way, never. And then that is n ot abuse.
For one person to believe he or she has the right to inflict physical or emotional pain on anyone else is to me a serious mental defect, a god complex. That one needs to go to anger management, counselling and if needed.......jail.

[Lote-Tree]

so, iv'e been thinking a lot.. and i was wondering what you guys thought about a "good reason" for hitting a girlfriend/wife??? is there ever a reason good enough. i know abused gfs or wifes tend to think they deserve it...but is there a good enough reason for abuse, can anything justfiy that? if so what?

There should be no excuse.

[crazefest456]

There should be no excuse.

ditto

[livelaughlove]

Agreed - abuse is abuse. There is never a good reason for violence.

[Dori]

there's no reason to abuse anyone, neither psychologically nor physically. for we tend to carry the scars of the abuse for as long as we live, both in body and soul.

The only reason to hurt someone is if you both agreed to participate on, oh you know, and even then, you should exercise caution.

When I was younger, my father believed he had the right to hit me when I missbehaved, you know "Spare the rod, spoil the child". I didn't really learn from it but sometimes children should be punished except you shouldn't really use force.

Now my stepfather believes he has the right to psychologically abuse me, only because he's bedding my mother and wants me to do the housework.

There's no reason to hurt any living being if you can prevent it and people who do so should be punished severely.

Ah, but there is. I believe physically punishing someone leaves a far better impression than any other form of punishment, at least in my experience. For disciplinary purposes, I think physical punishment is sometimes necessary.

People who don't learn from being punished weren't punished hard enough.

Wait a second, I'm a little befuddled at your last statement. How should these "abusers" be punished? Since the answer of this question would be based on opinion, there must be some people who then either think they were "let off the hook" or abused.

[Niamh]

As a topic similar to this was discussed in a previous thread and got not only heated but a bit too personal, i would like to request that people willing to participate in this topic dont get personal in their posts, give their general opinon and respect the opinion of others. Thank you.:)

[ClaesGefvenberg]

is there a good enough reason for abuse, can anything justfiy that? if so what?Nothing that I can think of. Abuse is abuse, and imo totally unacceptable. I have on occasion used force to defend myself, but that is something entirely different.

/Claes

[Sweets America]

Nothing that I can think of. Abuse is abuse, and imo totally unacceptable. I have on occasion used force to defend myself, but that is something entirely different.

/Claes

Yes I agree. Defending oneself is different, it's not abuse to me.
I see no valuable reason to abuse someone either.
Also, I think that physical punishment is too much of an easy solution for discipline.

[Koa]

Isn't the fact that it is unacceptable part of the definition of "abuse"?

[Virgil]

so, iv'e been thinking a lot.. and i was wondering what you guys thought about a "good reason" for hitting a girlfriend/wife??? is there ever a reason good enough. i know abused gfs or wifes tend to think they deserve it...but is there a good enough reason for abuse, can anything justfiy that? if so what?

There is never a reason, other than self defence. Period.

[Bakiryu]

People who don't learn from being punished weren't punished hard enough.

Wait a second, I'm a little befuddled at your last statement. How should these "abusers" be punished? Since the answer of this question would be based on opinion, there must be some people who then either think they were "let off the hook" or abused.

Not true. People only learn fear from punishment.

Abusers should be put on a position of powerlessness and let their victims do what they did to them while they are on a position of powerlessness.

[Dori]

Not true. People only learn fear from punishment.

Yes, you are correct (with your second statement, at least). People should be able to connect this fear with their act of wrongdoing, therefore making it less likely that they'll repeat this wrongdoing.


Abusers should be put on a position of powerlessness and let their victims do what they did to them while they are on a position of powerlessness.

Revenge never solves anything.

[Bakiryu]

Yes, you are correct (with your second statement, at least). People should be able to connect this fear with their act of wrongdoing, therefore making it less likely that they'll repeat this wrongdoing.


this fear is usually associated with the person who administers the punishment, not with the action you were punished for itself.



Revenge never solves anything.

The criminal systems, jails and courts are all just sanctioned revenge. retribution is not revenge.

[papayahed]

The criminal systems, jails and courts are all just sanctioned revenge. retribution is not revenge.

or is it keeping criminals from harming others?

[Sweets America]

Yes, you are correct (with your second statement, at least). People should be able to connect this fear with their act of wrongdoing, therefore making it less likely that they'll repeat this wrongdoing.



Revenge never solves anything.

If revenge doesn't solve anything, why would abuse solve anything? It is funny that it works in one way and not in the other. :)

I agree with Baki, physical punishment is not the solution to me. It is an easy way out that people use with kids instead of talking to them and try to see why they act this or that way.

[Shea]

Abuse is wrong, but self defese is perfectly acceptable. As far as kids go, and I'm talking about toddlers who are unable to reason yet, there is a very big difference between abuse and discipline that too many people have crossed. I'd say more, but then I'd get personal.

[Bakiryu]

or is it keeping criminals from harming others?

both. since criminals are prevented from harming others AND punished from the harm they did.

[Niamh]

both. since criminals are prevented from harming others AND punished from the harm they did.

Not exactly true. Criminals in prisons harm other people almost everyday all around the world (even if they are other criminals). Heck! Some even lose their lives at the hands of others, beaten up so badly that they cant survive the injuries. And before anyone even thinks of saying "they are criminals so they deserve it", do you think someone who stole, should be delt with at the hands of a cold blooded murderer and assaulter?

[Adventure Man]

Not exactly true. Criminals in prisons harm other people almost everyday all around the world (even if they are other criminals). Heck! Some even lose their lives at the hands of others, beaten up so badly that they cant survive the injuries. And before anyone even thinks of saying "they are criminals so they deserve it", do you think someone who stole, should be delt with at the hands of a cold blooded murderer and assaulter?
i agree.

oh and about abuse, I think it's wrong. The abused and abuser will both become victims.

[Tersely]

My husband says if I ever talk during his New England Patriots game again while they are having the perfect season I may experience it. (kidding, of course.) Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Wife/Husband ...Never. No excuse.
Expecially children. Thats a little harsh.

[stephofthenight]

How do you figure, the abuser is a victum?

[Dori]

this fear is usually associated with the person who administers the punishment, not with the action you were punished for itself.

This brings up an interesting point.

Although I've never experienced any torture (or any severe punishment for that matter), I have read about it. [SPOILER ALERT! IF YOU HAVEN'T READ 1984, STOP READING] George Orwell, in his novel 1984, depicted Winston as loving O'Brien, the person who administered his torture. This is because Winston knew O'Brien could take away the pain. In other words, Winston associated the coming of pain with his incorrect responses, rather than associating the pain with O'Brien.

I realize this is somewhat irrelevant to this discussion, but I thought it to be interesting enough to post it anyway.


The criminal systems, jails and courts are all just sanctioned revenge. retribution is not revenge.

I think there's a difference between revenge and justice. But I understand you're point nonetheless.