No fear.... a song

[totyfroty]

:) :)

Hi guys,

This is a song I wrote and I'd love to share it with you


Come here and look into my eyes
You will feel what I feel
You will know what I fear

I've been thinking about you
I am wondering if you know
That I really love you

Come here and look into my eyes
You will feel what I feel
You will know what I fear

I don't know where did you go
Without you I don't know what to do
You are away, I am alone
When will you return is unknown

Come here and look into my eyes
You will feel what I feel
You will know what I fear

Life took you away
You don't have much to say
Come near me and feel
Together we'll have no fear

Come here and look into my eyes
You will feel what I feel
You will know what I fear



Waiting your opinion;)

[Pendragon]

I like it. One suggestion: go to a chord change and add something like:

What was it that we were so afraid of anyway
What was it that we allowed to keep us so far apart
Stop listening to those voices that you hear
Listen only to the rhythm of the beating of our hearts...

Come here and look into my eyes
You will feel what I feel
You will know what I fear

I've been thinking about you
I am wondering if you know
That I really love you

[mechanic12]

I very much liked it and easily saw the a melody which means it was well written.
I think the song would fade out nice by adding this again:

You will feel what I feel
You will know what I fear
_______________________________

I am wondering if you know
That I really love you

I think replacing the word "love" here would be better, it loses its mystic feel about it with this word. Just my thoughts on it but I really liked it a lot, best thing I've read so far on this site......

You will feel what I feel
You will know what I fear..............It stays in my head, I like that. M12

[totyfroty]

Pendragon

You suggestion is amazing. I like what you wrote.

******
mechanic12

Thanks

Actually, I intended to add the lines to the ending but I just forget. I'll edit it now.

Thanks guys for your opinions.

[mechanic12]

Your welcome. I like writing songs as well, Thats pretty much all I do, poems aren't really my thing but I'm trying. Songs are fun to write because the focus can be taken away from the words by the music. Hope to see more songs from you. M12

[totyfroty]

That is cool M12. I'd love to read your songs. I love writing poems and this is like the first song I wrote. For me, both are amazing and each has something unique.

Good luck

[totyfroty]

I thought of an addition to the song:

Those who said you can't
Love is never attained
Stop listening to them
Give me your heart again

Come here and look into my eyes
You will feel what I feel
You will know what I fear

Tell me what you think?

[Pendragon]

I thought of an addition to the song:

Those who said you can't
Love is never attained
Stop listening to them
Give me your heart again

Come here and look into my eyes
You will feel what I feel
You will know what I fear

Tell me what you think?Nice. Goes as a second verse, like. I'd love to hear the whole song sung now, with a drop after the second verse to my refrain and back, I think it would sound lovely! Just needs a music writer...I do everything by ear, never learned to read music. I can play this, couldn't tell you what cord really...

Pen

[totyfroty]

Thanks Pen.

I'd love to hear some music with the song too. Wish me luck in this one

Have a nice day