Dawn

[Biggus]

DAWN

The distant mountains
Pale in the mist
Reach up to the sky like children
Waiting to be kissed

As the sun comes slowly into view
It turns the vast sky blue
Birds awaken bright as the day
As if to chase the night away

[Pendragon]

I like your mountains waiting to be kissed, Biggus. My sediments exactly. Very poetic.

[blazeofglory]

DAWN

The distant mountains
Pale in the mist
Reach up to the sky like children
Waiting to be kissed

As the sun comes slowly into view
It turns the vast sky blue
Birds awaken bright as the day
As if to chase the night away

There is perfection. I like the way you wrote about dawn, and indeed this is a new way of writing natural phenomena poetically.

[mechanic12]

I liked the first half very much, its painting a very pretty picture.


The distant mountains
Pale in the mist
Reach up to the sky like children
Waiting to be kissed


I think if you reworked the second half it would be very worthy of being a "very good" poem. M12

[Biggus]

Thank you all