Adolescent09
01-07-2008, 10:11 PM
I'm a high-school student preliminarily enrolled in a two-year community college at the end of which I wish to attend a univeristy where I'll spend the next eight years aspiring towards becoming a doctor.
Here is the essay topic. It will be due the day after tomorrow.
Begin your essay with the sentence, "There are a number of things I would like to change about our society". Make it concise, coherent and write it very quickly without stopping until you're finished.
Here is what I churned out pell-mell. I haven't completed it yet but I'm kinda stuck and I think it should be a bit longer? I appreciate your comments or thoughts in advance:
---------------------------------------
There are a number of things I would like to change in our society. The situation at stake can be addressed from both a domestic and global perspective. Considering that the vicissitudes faced by most foreigners are dire in contrast to those seen in America I find it appropriate to begin with the global premises. The cessation of poverty and reconciliation of civil conflicts is paramount to seeing a positive development on the global stage. Sadly, it is easier said than done. Political harbingers and governments are the only standards in a society capable of embarking on a globally facilitative strategy. Philanthropic societal figureheads such as Bill Gates and Warren Buffet have altruistically contributed to abating the crisis within the realm of their financial capabilities but it is the actions of federal governing bodies which speak louder than individuals. Only a federal government backed by selfless political advocates can see to it that the government’s financial reserves aren’t imprudently squandered and that health beneficial assets are given to the people who need it. Aside from the self-evident problems on the foreign portrait, I would also like to keenly address improprieties in our domestic American society. As a half Nigerian, half South Indian adolescent on the brink of age 17, I have witnessed events deemed custom in the American way of life that have done nothing besides dilute our otherwise infallible society. Deep-seated racism and our lack of care for the elderly and poor in general attests to our shortcomings as mere human beings. As human beings we are spontaneously self – centered and bent on catering to the interests of comrades and family who proximately influence us. Thereby we think people who have little to no impact on our lives are insignificant and emotionless creatures. It is this immoral state of mind which I wish to see universally nullified.
Here is the essay topic. It will be due the day after tomorrow.
Begin your essay with the sentence, "There are a number of things I would like to change about our society". Make it concise, coherent and write it very quickly without stopping until you're finished.
Here is what I churned out pell-mell. I haven't completed it yet but I'm kinda stuck and I think it should be a bit longer? I appreciate your comments or thoughts in advance:
---------------------------------------
There are a number of things I would like to change in our society. The situation at stake can be addressed from both a domestic and global perspective. Considering that the vicissitudes faced by most foreigners are dire in contrast to those seen in America I find it appropriate to begin with the global premises. The cessation of poverty and reconciliation of civil conflicts is paramount to seeing a positive development on the global stage. Sadly, it is easier said than done. Political harbingers and governments are the only standards in a society capable of embarking on a globally facilitative strategy. Philanthropic societal figureheads such as Bill Gates and Warren Buffet have altruistically contributed to abating the crisis within the realm of their financial capabilities but it is the actions of federal governing bodies which speak louder than individuals. Only a federal government backed by selfless political advocates can see to it that the government’s financial reserves aren’t imprudently squandered and that health beneficial assets are given to the people who need it. Aside from the self-evident problems on the foreign portrait, I would also like to keenly address improprieties in our domestic American society. As a half Nigerian, half South Indian adolescent on the brink of age 17, I have witnessed events deemed custom in the American way of life that have done nothing besides dilute our otherwise infallible society. Deep-seated racism and our lack of care for the elderly and poor in general attests to our shortcomings as mere human beings. As human beings we are spontaneously self – centered and bent on catering to the interests of comrades and family who proximately influence us. Thereby we think people who have little to no impact on our lives are insignificant and emotionless creatures. It is this immoral state of mind which I wish to see universally nullified.