O Miss Georgia

[jon1jt]

Oh miss Georgia, take me home,
make me home.

:p

[symphony]

I gather her back, reconstruct
her, like Spring does her leaves.
wow! :)

[ampoule]

Double wow!

[firefangled]

I searched to see
if she was still in Georgia.
I picture the rooftops
metal and narrow with
a slight peak,
where pretty girls roll
down their car windows to
sing, a candy bar sort of town.
The people on worn porches and
kids walk among
big cabbages and corn.
It’s the song of the streets,
where loose ends are sewn
into a sanguine sway.

I gather her back, reconstruct
her, like Spring does her leaves.

My Buddhist friend writes me
to release myself,
to forget, to breathe, breathe.

I think of the soap on her skin,
breathe her in more than I exhale.
I screw it all up.

I think this is perfectly constructed, pulling me forward and into the poem, and, yes, WOW! What an ending. I would never think that memories have an equilibrium, but they do and you captured it.

[Virgil]

Excellent Jon. I really love that first stanza, makes me really feel that southern small town. Only one word felt wrong: "sanguine". I like the alliteration, but it makes the whole clause incomprehensible, at least to me.
It’s the song of the streets,
where loose ends are sewn
into a sanguine sway.
I just don't get that. But other than that, a wonderful poem.

[Pendragon]

I'll go with the wows! Uv course, Suh, being Geo-gia yo' talkin' about heah, those 'uld be peach tree leaves, an' yuh breathe in the ovahpowerin' scent of peaches, Suh! ;) :p

[jon1jt]

Symph, Fire, Amp, Fire: I think I'll just to wow your Wow now. Thanks. ;)

Virge, I know what you're saying about 'sanguine'. Hmm. Well, initially it was 'summer sway,' I didn't like it. Sanguine popped into my head,figuring it captured that warm, cheerful side of Georgia folks. I think sanguine also means something like having a reddish complexion, so I thought that sanguine nailed my memory of the people.


I'll go with the wows! Uv course, Suh, being Geo-gia yo' talkin' about heah, those 'uld be peach tree leaves, an' yuh breathe in the ovahpowerin' scent of peaches, Suh! ;) :p

Pen, I read Steinbeck's Of Mice and Men recently and I thought he had captured the dialect of the period, but Steinbeck can't shine your shoes, your version of the lingo is that good! Ahh I do love those peach trees they got. I seriously think you ought to devote at least one future poem with it! Thanks.