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CdnReader
12-30-2007, 12:20 PM
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Excess

Shall only time be so excessive?

I embody excessiveness....
an excess of enthusiasm,
an excess of determination,
an excess of stubbornness,
an excess, perhaps, of life itself.

My purpose lies, it seems,
in demanding excess...
of myself, of others,
of the universe itself.

I tug on threads of reality,
tying them tightly to wrists and ankles,
pulling all of it with me through the fires.
For there is no reality,
but in the pain.

Those who would change the world
are seen as lives extinguished in our times,
blinking briefly, suffusing into flame,
then, without warning,
lost to sight.

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cdn/30dec07
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PrinceMyshkin
12-30-2007, 12:48 PM
Remember your Blake: "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom."

firefangled
12-30-2007, 08:44 PM
.

Those who would change the world
are seen as lives extinguished in our times,
blinking briefly, suffusing into flame,
then, without warning,
lost to sight.

.
cdn/30dec07
.


This is so sad, and I believe it is true, but I also believe those who are excessive in their persistences may also persist in returning to continue.

I liked this one, Cdn.

ShadowID
12-30-2007, 10:19 PM
....

I tug on threads of reality,
tying them tightly to wrists and ankles,
pulling all of it with me through the fires.
For there is no reality,
but in the pain.

Those who would change the world
are seen as lives extinguished in our times,
blinking briefly, suffusing into flame,
then, without warning,
lost to sight.

.
cdn/30dec07
.

I really, really, really, like this segment of the poem. I feel it can stand on its own.

I feel that after reading this part of the poem again and again, I lose the concept of "excess" you portrayed in the beginning. It's almost as if you have two poems inside of here. Is there something I missed?

CdnReader
12-31-2007, 11:17 AM
Remember your Blake: "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom."

But doesn't the road to excess also lead to the depths of decadence, the cesspool of oblivion? Is there wisdom there too? Buried under the discarded winebottles and chocolate bar wrappers, perhaps? ;)


This is so sad, and I believe it is true, but I also believe those who are excessive in their persistences may also persist in returning to continue.


Um.... I think I agree, FF. Um.... I think. :lol:


I really, really, really, like this segment of the poem. I feel it can stand on its own.

I feel that after reading this part of the poem again and again, I lose the concept of "excess" you portrayed in the beginning. It's almost as if you have two poems inside of here. Is there something I missed?

Thanks for your comment, ShadowID. Perhaps you're right. It seems like somewhere in the middle the poem drifted off to another place in my poor overworked mind. LOL! Maybe it would have been more coherent if I'd left this last stanza in place...?



An excess of madness?
Or an excess of truth?
An excess of tyranny
or an excess of the desire
for equality?
...but I disliked it so much that I cut it. :( Mistake?