A Distant Love

[degrassirocz]

I personally do quite a bit of writing, but this is my first poem. This is also my first post on this forum. Feel free to tell me what to improve on.


A Distant Love by Patrick Ryan (degrassirocz)

Angels are real, but there are only one or two.
I know they are real because I have met you.
With your wings you sweep me into the sky,
Which melts my heart, sending me into a high.
You have been gifed with the essence of love,
While your physical form is as beautiful as a dove.
Allthough I have drifted to another,
An infatuation is not a true lover.
I will be here with you and will never part,
Even though you have not given me your heart.
I want our relationship to be much stronger,
And also last ever the longer.
I ask for the honer of being a boyfriend to you,
And I pray that you want the same thing too.
Weather you say yes or no.
I just want you to know,
That whatever you say,
I will always stay

I love you

I know that I have said this before.
I just had the passion to say it once more.

[ShadowID]

Poems of love are always popular. It's a nice poem. Did you write it for a particular someone?

My favorite lines are:

"Angels are real, but there are only one or two.
I know they are real because I have met you."

The lines that invoke the most question from me are:

"You have been gifted with the essence of love,
While your physical form is as beautiful as a dove."

-Does the word "love" force you to use the imagery of a "dove"?


There are a few spelling mistakes. I'll put them in bold:

A Distant Love by Patrick Ryan (degrassirocz)

Angels are real, but there are only one or two.
I know they are real because I have met you.
With your wings you sweep me into the sky,
Which melts my heart, sending me into a high.
You have been gifted with the essence of love,
While your physical form is as beautiful as a dove.
Although I have drifted to another,
An infatuation is not a true lover.
I will be here with you and will never part,
Even though you have not given me your heart.
I want our relationship to be much stronger,
And also last ever the longer.
I ask for the honor of being a boyfriend to you,
And I pray that you want the same thing too.
Whether you say yes or no.
I just want you to know,
That whatever you say,
I will always stay <----do you want to add a period here?

I love you

I know that I have said this before.
I just had the passion to say it once more.



Again, nice poem :thumbs_up

[blazeofglory]

Really nice love poem. You seem to have written out of your first hand experience.

[Pendragon]

It is a good poem even though I am not fond of that rhyme scheme, it flows well, and that is what is important.

Pen

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l108/AbsalomKane/Four/Worm.gif